Finding Nemo (2003)
Barry Humphries: Bruce
Photos
Quotes
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Bruce : [reciting] I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.
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Bruce : [breaking through a porthole while blood-crazy] Here's Brucey!
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Marlin : There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...
[sees the mask]
Marlin : Nemo!
Chum : [laughing] Nemo! Ha ha! Nemo... I don't get it.
Bruce : For a clown fish, he's not that funny.
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Bruce : Today's meeting is Step 5: Bring a fish friend. Everyone brought a fish friend?
Anchor : Got mine.
[a small fish shivering with fear]
Dory : Hi there!
Bruce : What about you, Chum?
Chum : Oh... um... I seem to have misplaced my, um... friend.
[a fish skeleton peeks from Chum's teeth; Chum quickly sucks it back in]
Bruce : That's all right, mate. I had a feeling this would be a hard step. You can help yourself to one of my friends.
Chum : [Taking Marlin] Thanks mate. A little chum for Chum, eh?
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[Marlin and Dory are each pulling on the mask; it snaps and hits Dory in the face]
Dory : Ow!
Marlin : Oh, I'm really sorry. Are you okay?
Dory : Ow, ow, ow!
Marlin : I'm so sorry.
Dory : You really clocked me there. Am I bleeding?
[a wisp of blood floats from Dory's nose]
Marlin : Ohh!
Dory : Ow. Ow. Ow.
Bruce : Dory, are you okay...
[Sniffs the blood; his eyes turn black]
Bruce : Oh, ooooooh, that's good...
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Mr. Ray : [introduction to the Bonus Features menu of the first disc of the DVD; Mr. Ray is singing] Let's make a selection, a selection, a selection. Let's make a selection on the D-V-D! Ohhhhh! Pick something.
Nemo : [looks down at the reef] Cool!
Mr. Ray : [all characters are off-screen past this point] Welcome explorers! So much to see, so much to learn. Let's go!
[long pause]
Mr. Ray : Okay, optical orbits up front, and let's pick a button.
Dory : Uh! I'd like to see it with the commentary!
Marlin : It's not up to you.
Dory : Well, they might listen to me; I speak mammal. Choose the commentary!
Marlin : Unbelievable...
Mr. Ray : Sooo... Moving along!
[pause]
Mr. Ray : All scientific exploration is an act of discovery, so pick a button and discover what happens.
Bruce : [Bruce's Easter egg narration on the same menu] Hullo. My name is Bruce. I promise to watch all the making-of features, listen to the complete audio-visual commentary, and search diligently for Easter Eggs. On my honor, so help me.
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Bruce : [blasts face through door] Here's Brucieee!
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Bruce : I'm having fish tonight.
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Bruce : So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?
Marlin : Nothing, we're not doing anything, we're not even out.
Bruce : Great! Then how would you little morsels like to come to a little - a little get-together I'm having?
Dory : You mean like a party?
Bruce : Yeah, that's it, a party! What do you say?
Dory : Oh, I love parties! That sounds like fun.
Marlin : Parties are fun, and it's tempting, but we really have to...
Bruce : [Takes Dory and Marlin by the fin] Aw, come on. I insist.
Marlin : [Nervous] Okay, that's all that matters.