QI (2003– )
Alan Davies: Self - Panellist
Photos
Quotes
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Stephen Fry : [holding his clenched left fist out in front of him] If I've got a moth ball in this hand and a moth ball in that hand,
[bringing out his right fist]
Stephen Fry : What have I got?
Alan Davies : Two moth balls?
Stephen Fry : A rather excited moth.
Alan Davies : Sorry, I thought you were literally asking.
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Alan Davies : [after his buzzer is a sexy woman's voice saying "Ahoy, hello sailor"] Hang on, hang on, who was that?
[pushes buzzer again]
Alan Davies : Hells bells.
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Howard Goodall : The Quite Interesting thing about Bees is that they all died out in the First World War, they caught a bad cold, and we imported loads of Mexican Bees to keep the pollination going. So when they tell you that they're all native bees, they're not, actually.
Alan Davies : Do the British National Party know about this?
Howard Goodall : What, you mean the BEE NP?
Alan Davies : The BEE NP, yes.
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Alan Davies : Peter Cushing lives in Whitstable. I have seen him on his bicycle. I have seen him buying vegetables. Peter Cushing lives in Whitstable.
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Stephen Fry : What does the moon smell of?
Jo Brand : Is it Buzz Aldrin's dirty underpants?
Stephen Fry : Well..
Jo Brand : Face it, he probably buried some up there.
Alan Davies : I buried my underpants in the back garden once, and in the morning they'd gone!
Julian Clary : People advertise dirty underpants in the back of magazines.
Stephen Fry : Well, not in the Spectator they don't! Is all I can say to that.
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Alan Davies : Here we have a QI Elf! Educated to within an inch of his Life...
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Alan Davies : Did you know, it's Quite Interesting...
Stephen Fry : That's what we're here for!
Alan Davies : Kiwi fruit uses up more than its own weight in jet fuel to get from New Zealand to Europe.
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Stephen Fry : Who was the most famous person beaten at chess by a machine?
Alan Davies : Jesus!
Guest : "Jesus plays Chess" is the name of an Indie Band! Or it's going to be.
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Alan Davies : The Porters, Ladies and Gentlemen!
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Alan Davies : [Cruithne] "Blue Moon I saw you STANDING ALONE!" Not with a Small Friend!