- Little Con: Please sir, how many swear words do you know?
- School master: What makes you think I know any?
- Little Con: You're grown up, me daddy knows hundreds.
- School master: Then you best put your problem to him.
- Riley: And all the stuff, when we get it, where will we put it?
- Fergus: In our HQ.
- Little Con: What's an HQ?
- School Master: By the way, what was the joke back there, I could do with a laugh?
- Fergus: I messed up my clothes a bit last night, and my mammy, said she'd send me to school bare-assed.
- School Master: I find that prospect more horrifying than amusing.
- Fergus: Yes sir, but its just given me a funny idea.
- Fergus: Have you finished scrubbin' the paint off the old chaple board?
- Geronimo: And what would you know about scrubbin'? You dirty bunch of knackers.
- Gorilla: Knacker socks.
- Carrick Boy: Does our mammy still wash your socks in the kitchen sink?
- Carrick Boy: He doesnt have a kitchen sink.
- Gorilla: Here come over to Carrickdowse and we'll lend you a bath.
- Fergus: A bath, does it have your rubber ducky in it Gorilla?
- Tim: Does your mommy still powder your bum? You big girl's blouse.