Green Wing (2004–2007)
Sally Bretton: Kim Alabaster
Quotes
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Kim Alabaster : Erm, you do know that your goldfish is dead?
Joanna Clore : Yes, I know it's dead, it's supposed to be dead, I bought it dead! That way I can look at it and say "You're dead and I'm not, you stupid fish!"
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Kim Alabaster : He's not worth it, Karen.
Karen Ball : [crying over Martin chasing Carol] He is!
Kim Alabaster : He's not.
Karen Ball : Yes he is!
Kim Alabaster : He's got pink trousers on, Karen!
Karen Ball : I like them!
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Karen Ball : [online game] I don't want to be in Slytherin!
Naughty Rachel : You can't go back. The decision of the Sorting Hat is always final!
Karen Ball : [runs off crying]
Kim Alabaster : [starts after her]
Naughty Rachel : No! Careful! It might be a Slytherin trick...
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Kim Alabaster : Why are you hiding under your desk?
Karen Ball : I thought I saw a Clanger!
Kim Alabaster : [hides too]
Naughty Rachel : Poop-poop poop poop poop!
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Harriet Schulenburg : I know I took a lot of pills to try and flush him out, but it doesn't mean I don't love him. He's just a bit blinky.
Kim Alabaster : [points at calendar] Got the ******! He's with the babysitter! Right, ladies, let's get the **** out of here.
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Kim Alabaster : [Photocopier Competition] What? Ol' "Big Pants", there?
Lyndon Jones : Well, you did ask me whose I liked best...
Harriet Schulenburg : [Victory Dance]
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Boyce : [tequila slammers] If you're still standing after this one, I'll let you put your hand down my pants.
Naughty Rachel : Oh, God!
[They all drink and Rachel runs off to be sick]
Kim Alabaster : Still standing...
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Joanna Clore : What's wrong with her?
Kim Alabaster : Her iPod is on shuffle and Travis just came on.
Joanna Clore : [Drops Rachel's iPod into a glass of water]
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Kim Alabaster : [yelling in the corridors] Hey, fucker!
Boyce : Hi, Slag!
Kim Alabaster : Why you walking like that, get lucky?
Boyce : Yeah!
Kim Alabaster : Anyone I should be worried about?
Boyce : Just some Totty with Top Tits!
[they meet up and snog]
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Dr. Angela Hunter : Why the eyepatch?
Kim Alabaster : I got sperm in my eye.