- Life's just a bus stop to somewhere infinitely better.
- [On making Ernest Scared Stupid] I loved it. As a kid, anything that gave me nightmares I had to watch.
- I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone. It's you, the light, and the audience. If you win, you win big. If you lose, you lose big time.
- I like to sing. I write music. Country songs. You have to if you're in Nashville. It's part of the lease. You sign a lease that says, I will write country songs and pay my rent on time.
- I'd like to do a piece of Shakespeare. Any upcoming Shakespeare film. Just a bit to say I did a classic.
- [After being asked if he was a chain smoker] Nah, I'm not a chain smoker. they're real hard to light, and you have to carry that big torch around.
- On how fortunate he was to play Ernest. Where else can you get paid to chainsaw a turkey?
- Ernest is a neighbor or relative that we've all had at one time. He's abrasive, but he doesn't mean to be. He gets excited and ends up standing on your toes. I try to make him clownish and I don't want him too low key; and he's physically funny.
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