Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Isaac Hayes: Asneeze
Photos
Quotes
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Asneeze : I am Asneeze, father of Ahchoo.
Robin Hood : Bless you.
Asneeze : No no no, Ahchoo is my son.
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[Robin has just been chained in Le Dungeon]
Asneeze : You are very brave for not a homeboy.
Robin Hood : Oh, thank you.
Asneeze : I've been in here for a while. Perhaps I could be of service. Do you have any questions?
Robin Hood : What are you in for?
Asneeze : Jaywalking.
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Robin Hood : It's not gonna be easy getting out of here. What we need is a great feat of strength.
Asneeze : Feat of strength? Au contraire! Now that you are here with me, what we have is great strength of feet!
Robin Hood : [not getting it] Don't follow.
Asneeze : Do as I do. Put your feet on the bar, both feet. Now, on the count of kick... kick!
Robin Hood : [they manage to pry the bar open] Ha ha!
Assistant Saracen Guard : What was that?
[as he comes in, they move it back into position]
Assistant Saracen Guard : What was that noise?
Robin Hood : [playing dumb] Uh, noise? Noise?
Asneeze : Um.. uh, uh, uh, uh... the-the noise you heard was the breaking of this poor man's heart.
Robin Hood : [playing along] Yes, that's it!
[holding his chest]
Robin Hood : Ohh!
Assistant Saracen Guard : What?
Asneeze : He's decided to save his own life by betraying his king. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Robin Hood : Oh, yes, that's it. Oh, damn my eyes.
Asneeze : So, go. Go tell your superiors before he changes his mind.
Assistant Saracen Guard : Oh, by the love of Allah, this is a wonderful thing!