Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys (1996–1997)
Jerry Doyle: Captain Simian
Photos
Quotes
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Shao Lin : Captain, the fuel supply is at critical.
Captain Simian : What? How did that happen?
Shao Lin : If I recall, your words were, 'You see the fuel supply as half-empty, I see it as half-full.'
Captain Simian : That was a JOKE!
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[repeated line, usually referring to the Orbitron]
Captain Simian : I've *got* to get that thing fixed.
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Captain Simian : Orbitron, how close are we to the nearest fuel depot in this galaxy?
Orbitron : You should have thought of that before we left home!
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Captain Simian : [the crew picks the Captain up from the floor] What just happened?
Dr. Splitz : Excellent Captain! It would seem that as soon as you lost consciousness, the illusions dissipated.
Captain Simian : Wonderful... my proudest moment...
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Shao Lin : Recording Sector 3879-B Captain.
Captain Simian : Log the coordinates.
Orbitron : No, no, no! Where's the feeling? These are coordinates! You want them logged. You NEED them logged. Try it again, and this time, make... me... CRY.
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Captain Simian : Orbitron, come with me.
Orbitron : You like me, you really like me!
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[Trying to make aliens launch an attack]
Captain Simian : [On the P.A] We are the Space Monkeys! Resistance is useless, your weapons are useless!
Shao Lin : Captain, they may actually surrender.
Captain Simian : [Thinks] You're right.
Captain Simian : [On the P.A] That is, we *think* your weapons are useless.
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General Yot : We are no match for your advanced weapons. We surrender
Captain Simian : [Slapping his forehead] I don't *want* you to surrender! How can I convince you we come in peace?
[Gor is poked with an electric prod and promtly turns into Gor-mungus and starts destroying the building]
Orbitron : Well, that certainly was convincing.
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[repeated line]
Captain Simian : [For no apparent reason] Check!
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[repeated line]
Captain Simian : Strangely soothing.