- C.W.: I found the Picasso. It wasn't easy. I was looking for a woman with a guitar and it was all cubes. It took me two hours to find her nose.
- Laura Kensington: I have a strawberry birthmark on my thigh. Want to see it?
- C.W. Briggs: Sure, when can I take the full tour?
- C.W.: There's a deck of cards with naked women on it.
- Laura Kensington: Let me guess, you use it to play solitaire.
- C.W.: I used to date the six of spades.
- C.W.: Did I really throw you out of bed?
- Laura Kensington: Why? Are you planning on using the insanity defense?
- Laura Kensington: You have a fresh mouth. I don't think I like it.
- C.W.: I tend to grow on people. We could meet later and I could grow on you.
- Laura Kensington: I'll slip into something a little bit more comfortable. Wait for me in bed.
- C.W.: More comfortable than that? What are you gonna put on, Jergens lotion?
- Betty Ann: So what, you always get your kicks fondling women's shoes?
- C.W. Briggs: Once in a while I'll fondle a whole woman...
- Betty Ann: Who do you think I am, a peroxide little secretary with her brains in her sweater and whose ass you pinch?
- C.W.: This is a very smart burglar and you guys have trouble figuring out who did it when you get a confession.
- C.W.: I didn't do it and i gotta have time to prove it, otherwise they're going to lock me up in a concrete building and you'll only be able to insult me on visiting day.
- C.W.: So, should we... get out of here and find someplace where we can start making up for lost time?
- C.W.: Let me have the cherry cheesecake and a prune danish and a couple of Hershey bars, oh and I should have something sweet. Let me have some chocolate covered raisins.