- Victor: [to Guy:] Sir, if I may: Mr. Foster is a man of much higher caliber than you deserve. If I were you, I'd stop worrying about how to cut him loose and I'd start worrying about how to keep him. Because letting him go will be a mistake that will haunt you until your miserable, lonely, alcohol-soaked death.
- Ray Verrine: Mr. Stone, are you now or have you ever been a homosexual communist? Are you or have you, Mr. Stone?
- Guy Stone: Yes.
- Ray Verrine: And are you personally aware of others, like yourself, working in the motion picture industry?
- Guy Stone: Yes, I am.
- Ray Verrine: Please state their names for the record.
- Guy Stone: I am what you say, and so are many of my peers. So what?
- Ray Verrine: I just need their names, Mr. Stone.
- Guy Stone: This is the only way I can help you, Ray. Because movies, for all their cornball reactionary idiocy, show us life as it might be, if only we could live up to our ideals. Movie characters are honest, and loyal, and brave. They sacrifice themselves for those they love. They are proud of the qualities that make them individuals. They stand up for what's right, no matter the odds, or consequences. Movie characters, in short, would not care who plays them. But I guess there's a reason we pay money to see people like that. In a way I wish I could give you 10 million names today, because then 10 million people could stop hiding and living in fear. And the rest of you would discover wonderful new sides to people you thought you knew. But I can't do that Mr. Verrine, because the main trait that separates my kind from yours is that we mean you no harm. When you can say the same about yourself, you will have earned the privilege of knowing our names.
- Guy Stone: Um, what do you do for fun?
- Sally: Watch Guy Stone movies.
- Guy Stone: Really? Me too.
- Sally: Oh, and I'm taking an acting class from the prestigious Tom Hertz.
- Guy Stone: Ah, Tom, sure.
- Sally: You take from him?
- Guy Stone: Sometimes I'm the student, sometimes I'm the teacher. So, you wanna be an actress?
- Sally: Oh, gosh, no. Actresses are whores.
- Jerry: [picks up phone, knows that it's Guy calling again:] You CAN'T get out of the marriage.
- Guy Stone: Jerry! She is destroying my house, Jerry. She's giving away my things and she's always hovering with a tray of this God-awful lemonade.
- Jerry: Your "Ben-Hur" contract stipulates TWELVE MONTHS of matrimony.
- Guy Stone: I'm not going to make it Jerry. Where we're at home... she takes advantage.
- Jerry: What? You slept with her? What was it like?
- Guy Stone: Terrible! She's a total "bottom."
- Victor: [clearing Rick's plate:] Finished, sir?
- Rick Foster: Yes. It's "Rick."
- Guy Stone: No, let him call you "sir," otherwise he blows his paycheck on escorts.
- Saul Ornstein: [reading a newspaper:] Yuval Reissman died; that's too bad.
- Jerry: [tsk-ing:] You always go straight for the obituaries.
- Saul Ornstein: That's the only part of the trades I can read without getting jealous.
- Viola: Hey, baby. You want a date?
- Freddie Stevens: No, But I'll take a blow job.
- Viola: I'll take a ten.
- Freddie Stevens: Five.
- Viola: Ten.
- Freddie Stevens: Seven.
- Viola: Ten.
- Freddie Stevens: Eight-fifty.
- Viola: Ten.
- Freddie Stevens: Nine-twenty-five.
- Viola: Ten.
- Freddie Stevens: Okay.
- Saul Ornstein: [seeing an electric organ in the middle of his office:] What the hell?
- Sally: It's Guy's birthday present. They're oodles of fun at parties. I needed someplace to hide it.
- Saul Ornstein: A lot full of empty stages, and you pick here?
- Sally: Well, this is just were they delivered it. I was gonna move it myself, but it was too heavy on account of I had it done in walnut because that's more masculine. Do you suppose Guy will like it?
- Saul Ornstein: Will Guy like a masculine organ? I think that's a safe bet.