- Kim: It's the 21st Century - a 15-year-old using a toothbrush to masturbate over her best friend shouldn't be that big a deal.
- Kim: Just when you thought life couldn't get any worse you're a virgin with a sexually transmitted disease!
- Kim: I was so busy telling everyone what everyone else thought I forgot to tell them both to sod off!
- Kim: So I'm a 15-year-old queer virgin and my mum's a whore, and she's so scared I'll tell my dad she's trying to be my best friend.
- Kim: There's this girl, Sugar, who I like, I really like. I suppose you could say I'm obsessed, and basically if I don't shag her soon I'm going to explode, so I thought heavy narcotics might ease things on a bit.
- Kim: It's amazing the things you do when you're a fucked-up teenager. Adolescents are hormonally insane.
- Kim: Tonight was different. Tonight I was living the dream. I was buying my girlfriend a drink and nothing could stop me.
- Kim: [praying] Dear God, please stop me perving over Sugar and help me find me a fit guy to perv over instead. Or if it turns out you're OK with the whole same-sex thing, then stop Sugar messing me about and help her find her way into my bed.
- Sugar: You must have some tricks up your sleeve. How else are you going to make up for the fact that there's no cock?
- Sugar: Ugh. Now are you sure this is a proper champagne? 'Cause it is dry as fuck.
- Kim: It's supposed to be. It's prized for its dryness. It's an acquired taste.
- Sugar: Nah, they probably got some sugar for this.
- Kim: You can't put sugar in champagne!
- Sugar: Excuse me, you can put a little sugar in anything.
- Kim: So that's how it is then? You call, I come running. You say jump, I say how high? Translating for French guys, spending my mum's credit card when you could be with someone else. Name something you've done for me. One thing. One SODDING thing.
- Kim: You ever think about what would have happened if you haven't been taken away?
- Sugar: Sometimes.
- Kim: And?
- Sugar: Kim, we have our moments together but most of the time we annoy the fuck out of each other. Saint's great for you. It simply makes sense and you know it. Besides... It'll never top the night we did have. I'll still be thinking about that one when I'm shuffling around in my incontentenant pants, thats if I don't have alzheimer's.
- Nathan: Right, uh... Matt, we should talk about these.
- [holds up a pair of women's underwear Matt has worn]
- Matt: What about them?
- Nathan: Your mother and I were just a bit worried, thats all. You do know they are for girls, don't you?
- Matt: [correcting him] Women's actually.
- Nathan: Exactly, they're for women and not for men. Like you and me.
- Matt: What? I like them.
- Nathan: I'm sorry, Matt, you can't wear them.
- Matt: Its not fair. I don't dodge you for being a swinger.
- Sugar: I bet he'll be with some stupid French bird with hairy armpits, garlic breath and giving him a crap blowjob!