Grandma's Boy (2006)
Peter Dante: Dante
Photos
Quotes
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Alex : Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante : Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex : You're getting a lion?
Dante : Yeah.
Alex : Why?
Dante : To protect my shit.
Alex : Never heard of a dog?
Dante : Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Alex : Yeah, that's true.
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Dante : I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a fuck.
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Dante : [while stoned] Drive, monkey, drive!
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Dante : Wow... where do you get your weed?
Mr. Cheezle : From you, Dante.
Dante : Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!
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Alex : Dude, why don't you pick up your phone? I've been calling for the past half hour!
Dante : Sorry bro, I was putting up my Christmas tree!
Alex : Dude? It's the middle of July.
Dante : Get the fuck outta here! It is?
Alex : Dude? Why are you naked?
Dante : Ooohhh shit! I am naked! Come in.
[turns around]
Alex : Your ass is tanner than my face.
Dante : It's not tan, kid, it's bronzed.
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Dante : Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
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Dr. Shakalu : [Samantha drinks two shots] Someone ass getting laid tonight.
[everyone laughs, Dr. farts]
Alex : Doctor, we're not in the rainforest, man.
Dr. Shakalu : [inhaling] My beef strong!
Dante : Your beef wrong!
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Dante : It's cool that I brought some friends from the Crazy Beaver?
[as a parade of bikers and such file into his grandma's house]
Alex : I wish you would have gone a little less on the crazy and little more on the beaver.
Dante : Relax bro, they're people just like you and me. Now hit this joint and have some fun.
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Dante : That's right monkey, play my head.