- Mary Richards: A woman doesn't have to have a baby if she doesn't want to.
- Lou Grant: Well, I say a man's entitled to have a baby if he wants to.
- Mary Richards: [Chuckles] Well, Mr. Grant, on behalf of women everywhere let me say we'd sure like to be there when he has it.
- Ted Baxter: She got you there, Lou.
- Mary Richards: Sometimes I think men have no idea what's involved in caring for a baby. The amount of time that's involved. The total commitment...
- Lou Grant: Hey! Hey! Why are you telling me? I've got three kids! You don't have any!
- Mary Richards: Well, you don't have to be a chicken to recognize an egg.
- Lou Grant: Well, you do if you want to lay one.
- Murray Slaughter: I want to leave a little piece of myself behind.
- Mary Richards: Why don't you pickle a kidney?
- Ted Baxter: Why not, Lou?
- Lou Grant: I'm sorry, Ted. My anchorman is not going to be a judge at a Miss Nude Minnesota contest.
- Murray Slaughter: [Referring to the argument he had with Marie] She's got a point, Ted. Overpopulation is a real problem.
- Ted Baxter: Sure overpopulation is a problem. That's why people should have lots of babies. Because one day, one of those babies is going to grow up and solve that problem.