The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart the General (1990)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Lewis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Herman : When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. You got the water balloons?

  Bart : Two hundred rounds, sir. Is it okay if they say "Happy Birthday" on the side?

  Herman : Well, I'd rather they say, "Death From Above," but I guess we're stuck.

• Bart : Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you have just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and The Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures. See you next week. Peace, man!

• Weasel #1 : Nelson, you're bleeding!

  Nelson Muntz : Naw, happens all the time. Someone else's blood splatters on me. Hey, wait a minute. You're right! You made me bleed my own blood!

• Bart : You know, there are names for people like you.

  Lisa : No there aren't.

  Bart : Teacher's pet. Apple polisher. Butt kisser.

  Homer : Bart. You're saying butt kisser like it's a bad thing.

• Lisa : Bart, you can't go on like this.

  Bart : I know.

  [coughs up his hat] 

  Lisa : Why don't you go see grandpa?

  Bart : What can he do?

  Lisa : He'll give you good advice. He's the toughest Simpson alive!

  Bart : He is?

  Lisa : Yeah, remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home?

• Bart : I guess you learned your lesson, so now I'll untie ya.

  Nelson Muntz : The second you untie me, I'm gonna beat you to death, man.

• Bart : Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool gory pictures.