- Lance Sterling: Walter, what did you do?
- Walter Beckett: Pigeons are everywhere, and nobody notices them! It's the most perfect form a spy can take!
- Lance Sterling: UNBIRD ME, RIGHT NOW!
- [Ursula, the female pigeon tries to cuddle with Lance]
- Lance Sterling: Stop, girl! Seriously!
- Walter Beckett: What if I could make you... pause for effect, drumroll please... disappeeeear?
- Lance Sterling: What?
- Walter Beckett: Disappeeeear.
- Lance Sterling: Why are you saying it like that?
- Walter Beckett: For effeeeect.
- Marcy: Would you look at that? There's a man with a robot hand wearing your face who took the M9 Assassin. Guess I owe you an apology.
- Lance: Ok. Go ahead.
- Marcy: No, that was it. That was the apology.
- Lance: Oh. I accept.
- Marcy: But you gotta admit, it was a little Scooby-Doo.
- Lance: Oh, 100% Scooby-Doo.
- Walter Beckett: [after Kimura is sprayed with truth serum] Kimura, what is your biggest secret?
- Kimura: I peed in the pool.
- Walter: Why are you running from the Agency?
- [as Walter tries to help him up]
- Lance: Get off me! I'm running, because there's a bad guy out there with my face, and now I have to try to stop him from hurting people while being a bird. And thank you for that. Thank you very much for that. You know what? You're fired again. Double fired!
- Walter: Mm, I don't think that's a thing.
- Lance: Oh, it's a thing. It's a thing now!
- Walter Beckett: [Sterling has just been transformed into a pigeon] Can you see me?
- Lance Sterling: I can see everything!
- Lance Sterling: Why can I see you and my butt at the same time?
- Lance Sterling: I do not need your help, never will... Can you push 20
- [on the elevator]
- Lance Sterling: , please?
- [first lines]
- Wendy: Walter, have you seen my tweezers?
- Young Walter: [Walter is pulling something open with tweezers which explodes shooting off and smashing a coffee mug] Um, sorry. Did you need that mug?
- Wendy: I needed that coffee.