DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV Series)

The Virgin Gary (2018)

Tala Ashe: Zari Tomaz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sara Lance : [following the Beatles' arrival in New York]  Hey, Z, if you had to sleep with one, which one would it be?

  Zari Tomaz : How can you even tell them apart?

  Ray Palmer : Well, Paul's the cute one, George is the quiet one, there's Ringo...

  Mick Rory : Never met an Englishman I haven't wanted to punch in the face.

  Nate Heywood : Relax, Mick. If it wasn't for the British Invasion, there'd be no Rolling Stones, no Led Zep. No Black Sabbath.

  Mick Rory : Black Sabbath.

  Nate Heywood : Yep.

  Mick Rory : Well, then we... we need to protect these mopheads from whatever's screwing up history.

• Sara Lance : Jeez, who died?

  [seeing Nate's look] 

  Sara Lance : Oh, come on. We just met the Beatles and saved Fourth of July.

  Nate Heywood : No, it's cool; it's just all becoming... I don't know. Old hat.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah, we did spend all of last year returning displaced people to their proper place in history.

  Mick Rory : Four years doing the same old crap.

  Zari Tomaz : Yeah, I'm beginning to think Wally had the right idea; taking time off, clearing his head, traveling the world. Speaking of the same old crap, isn't that what he did last year?

• Zari Tomaz : So, Gideon sent us on a wild goose chase. This event in history is playing out exactly as it should.

  Paul Revere : [appearing]  The British are coming! The British are coming!

  Ray Palmer : Interesting fact: the real Paul Revere didn't actually say...

  [seeing him] 

  Ray Palmer : Oh, my god, it's Paul Revere!

• Nate Heywood : Look, all I know is Constantine promised us new, mysterious monsters, so where are they all hiding?

  Sara Lance : I'm confused. We are all happy that there was only one dragon, right? We don't want to be fighting werewolves in the Alamo.

  Nate Heywood : Eh.

  Ray Palmer : Well, it would be good for our ratings.

  Zari Tomaz : What ratings?

  Ray Palmer : Oh, you don't know? The Time Bureau rates all their employees. But don't worry. We-we have a few dedicated fans.

  Zari Tomaz : Yeah, Gary doesn't count.

  Mick Rory : Who gives a damn about Time Pig ratings? I want dragons.

  Sara Lance : What is wrong with you guys? Don't you get it? Constantine was wrong. Our crazy plan to let Mallus out worked. Finally, we're not screw-ups forced to clean up our own mess. For once in our lives, we are actual heroes.

• Zari Tomaz : [Ray finds a warrant for Nora Darhk's arrest]  Gee, I really wonder how she managed to escape from the Time Bureau.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah. I mean... I mean, if I had to... if had to guess, I'd probably say that someone must have given Nora her dead father's Time Stone. And furthermore, that someone must have done it in hopes that she would turn over a new leaf in life.

  Zari Tomaz : Sounds like that someone forgot about Nora's serious lack of ethics - around, you know, murder, for one. But that someone must have had a really big heart to give her a second chance. You're a good guy, Ray Palmer.

• Zari Tomaz : Going somewhere, Raymond? And don't give me any of that "routine maintenance on the jumpship" crap.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah, no. I wouldn't do that. I... I had Gideon monitor the Time Bureau. Someone over there pulled up unusual activity in Woodstock, 1969.

  Zari Tomaz : You think it's Nora, and if the Time Bureau finds her first, she's gonna tell them you're the one who helped her escape. Ray, I'm not gonna let you get on that jumpship.

  Ray Palmer : But...

  Zari Tomaz : Not without me.

  Ray Palmer : [sighing in relief]  Oh, good. I was not looking forward to dealing with those hippies on my own.

  Zari Tomaz : What's a hippie?

• Zari Tomaz : So, tell me, why would Nora Time Stone to the least evil event in history?

  Ray Palmer : Well, who knows? Maybe she's turning over a new, non-evil leaf, inspired by yours truly.

• Zari Tomaz : What is that?

  Ray Palmer : Oh, it's my old trusty Eagle Scout compass. I thought if we could locate the epicenter of the temporal disturbance the old-fashioned way.

  Zari Tomaz : [unenthused]  Oh, it sounds like a blast, Ray.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah!

• Ray Palmer : Who would wanna kill hippies at Woodstock? Literally ripping people's hearts out!

  Zari Tomaz : Now that's the Nora I remember.

• Ray Palmer : Not Noras. Hi! Not Nora, not Nora...

  [seeing a pregnant hippie] 

  Ray Palmer : Definitely not Nora.

  Zari Tomaz : Ray, I really don't need to hear your inner dialogue.

  Ray Palmer : Sorry, I'm just... I'm-I'm-I'm nervous and upset. I mean, how could she be so heartless? Pun not intended.

  Zari Tomaz : Well, her father did give her over to a demon-loving cult, so...

• Sara Lance : Nora Darhk is here?

  Ray Palmer : Sara?

  Zari Tomaz : Hey, what are you doing at Woodstock?

  Sara Lance : Probably the same thing as you are, looking for whatever is messing with history. Huh. I think I just saw Joan Baez talking to Carlos Santana. Woodstock...

  Nate Heywood : Turns into a massacre.

  Ray Palmer : Nate! You're here, too?

• Sara Lance : Okay, what is going on?

  Nate Heywood : Woodstock is no longer remembered as three days of peace and love, but instead, the end of the hippie movement. Reports from survivors are sketchy, at best. But what they all could agree upon was that there was a series of grisly murders that ultimately lead to a deadly stampede when 400,000 kids try to escape the festival at once.

  Zari Tomaz : Yeah, Ray and I just saw a body in the woods with a gaping hole in its chest. We think that Nora did it.

  Sara Lance : Well, that's a relief.

  Ray Palmer : It is?

  Sara Lance : Yeah, it means we're in the clear. Look, it's not our fault the Time Bureau let Nora escape.

  Nate Heywood : [hearing a call to check something out]  Don't panic, I left Mick alone here. He's itching to punch a hippie.

• Nate Heywood : [after a unicorn gores a hippie]  Oh, my god. Is it...

  Zari Tomaz : Yup, yup. It's eating her heart. I'm gonna be sick.

• Sara Lance : Okay, we can fix this before the Time Bureau even has to know about it.

  Zari Tomaz : Oh, really? Can we?

  Sara Lance : Look, Ava still thinks of me as the woman who saved the world last year, and I don't want her to know that there's a whole new problem with history.

  Zari Tomaz : Yeah, that we basically created.

  Sara Lance : You go find the unicorn, and I'll go find Constantine.

• Zari Tomaz : Ray. Ray, my hand is glowing. Can you see it?

  Ray Palmer : No. It looks like your hand.

  Zari Tomaz : No, no. You gotta open your eyes, man. It's all around us.

  Ray Palmer : What is?

  Zari Tomaz : Love. Oh, those hippies had the right idea. Woodstock is beautiful.

• Zari Tomaz : What's wrong, Ray?

  Ray Palmer : What?

  Zari Tomaz : [gasp]  You were hoping to see Nora here.

  [another gasp] 

  Zari Tomaz : You like her, Ray-Ray!

  Ray Palmer : No. No! I do not like Nora.

  Zari Tomaz : Uh-huh, because you love her.

  Ray Palmer : [she 'beeps' his nose]  No-o. No! The only reason I ever want to see Nora Darhk again is so that I can take the Time Stone back and I can lock her up in the Time Bureau.

  [turning and imagining he sees her] 

  Ray Palmer : Oh, my god, she's here!

• Ray Palmer : John! Welcome aboard.

  John Constantine : Hey, Ray big-man! Glad to see you're all back from the land of milk and honey.

  Zari Tomaz : I'm-I'm still a little fuzzy on how exactly we were...

  Mick Rory : Roofied by a horse.

  John Constantine : Well, that beast sprays a powerful mind-altering hallucinogen to disarm its prey.

  [finding what he's looking for] 

  John Constantine : Ah! "How to expel a magical creature from the mortal realm." Now, the ingredients for this spell aren't so easy to come by. Don't suppose any of you lot have the saliva from a nine-fingered man, now do you?

  Ray Palmer : You could chop off one of my pinkies.

• Nate Heywood : As every Deadhead knows, Jerry Garcia was missing most of his middle finger on his right hand from a wood chopping accident.

  Zari Tomaz : Cool, so how do we get his saliva?

• Gary Green : This feels wrong.

  Ray Palmer : Well, don't worry. We'll be watching from a short distance, and you'll be... fine.

  Gary Green : What am I supposed to do with the pomegranate?

  John Constantine : Oh, the unicorns, they can't get enough of them, mate.

  Zari Tomaz : [sotto, to Ray]  Yeah, that and human hearts.

  Gary Green : So the pomegranate is the bait?

  Sara Lance : Yeah, we wouldn't put an interim member of our team in jeopardy, right, guys?

  Gary Green : I'm an interim Legend?

  [they all shrug and nod half-heartedly] 

  Gary Green : Well, then. Uh, one-one more question. Are you sure that I'm a virgin, 'cause that thing we did...

  John Constantine : Positive, mate.

• Sara Lance : Gary, you're, like, really bleeding.

  Gary Green : [looking at his wound]  Ah! The unicorn bit my nipple off!

  Zari Tomaz : Hey, maybe Gideon can make you a new one.

  John Constantine : Oh, forget it, mate. Come on, it's a badge of honor. You see, my soul is heading straight to hell, but your nipple, it just got there first, that's all.

  Gary Green : It's like we're two birds of the same, dark feather.

  John Constantine : Yeah, yeah, that's right, mate. Come on, let's grab a beer. All right?

  [leading him away] 

  John Constantine : Now, about this whole virgin situation...

• Zari Tomaz : Wow, you're looking a little glum there, buddy.

  Ray Palmer : Just, uh... thinking about all the musicians who died after Woodstock. Janis Joplin overdosed in 1970, sad and alone.

  Zari Tomaz : That's terrible, but this is obviously about Nora.

  Ray Palmer : When I gave her the Time Stone, our hands touched, and... I felt a spark.

  Zari Tomaz : Ray, Nora is... Nora is like a unicorn. Beautiful and dangerous. She is going to eat you alive.

  Ray Palmer : I guess she and I are doomed.

  Zari Tomaz : There's something I wanna show you. Come on.

• Ray Palmer : I don't understand. What are we doing here?

  Zari Tomaz : That's my mom, and that's me. We lived in D.C. in 2018 before my brother was born. It would be so easy, Ray... to just walk over there and tell her to get her family and go to Canada before everything changes. Before this country that she worked so hard to become a citizen of betrays her.

  Ray Palmer : You'd be changing your future. You'd never meet us, you'd never become a Legend. Think of all the people you saved.

  Zari Tomaz : Yeah, I know. I know. There's no loophole where I can save my family and not screw up history, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty every day that I have the power to change everything, and... I do nothing.

  Ray Palmer : I'm so sorry, Z.

  Zari Tomaz : [beginning to cry]  Look at her, Ray. How could anyone be afraid of her?