DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV Series)

Witch Hunt (2018)

Jes Macallan: Ava Sharpe

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Quotes 

• Nate Heywood : Well, I decided to extend my trip to 2018, and I may possibly be living a little bit at the Bureau.

  Ava Sharpe : You couldn't spring for a hotel?

  Nate Heywood : Well, here's a fun fact about staying in the present: it costs money. And as a Legend, your salary is the... friendships you make along the way.

  Ava Sharpe : Got'cha.

• Ava Sharpe : [working late and hearing a noise]  Gary? Is that you? Did you sleepwalk to work again?

  Nate Heywood : [startling each other]  Whoa, whoa!

  Ava Sharpe : Oh, my god!

  Nate Heywood : What is wrong with you?

  Ava Sharpe : Nate? What the hell are you doing here? And why aren't you wearing pants?

  Nate Heywood : I can explain. And thank you for not mentioning the shower cap.

  Ava Sharpe : Pretend I did.

  Nate Heywood : Coconut oil makes my hair more buoyant.

  Ava Sharpe : Really?

  Nate Heywood : Mm-hmm.

  Ava Sharpe : I should try that. And, uh, the pants situation?

• Nate Heywood : Oh, crap. That's my dad.

  Ava Sharpe : Wait a second. That's your dad?

  Nate Heywood : Yeah. This must be one of his secret government projects he could never tell me about. I can't go in there, Ava. I will make this worse.

  Ava Sharpe : Come on, Nate, you're family. How bad could it be?

  Nate Heywood : Oh, last time I saw him, I insulted his life's work and literally said "I don't need your money."

  Ava Sharpe : Oh, okay, that's bad.

• Henry Heywood : And what situations require our continued funding, Director Sharpe?

  Ava Sharpe : Sir, do you remember when dinosaurs took over downtown Los Angeles? Or when a telepathic gorilla tried to kill Barack Obama?

  Henry Heywood : You know that I don't.

  Ava Sharpe : And that's because we did our job. The timeline was in complete shambles, but I'm proud to say that we finally put things back into its proper place.

  Henry Heywood : So your job is done. What are all these people still doing here?

  Ava Sharpe : See, the timeline is very fragile. There's always a threat of one kind or another.

  Gary Green : Now there's magic.

  Henry Heywood : [skeptical]  Magic?

  Gary Green : Yes. You see, last year, there was a time demon named Mollus.

  Ava Sharpe : [trying to shut him up]  Mallus, but it-it... we're not gonna...

  Gary Green : And in order to kill him, the Legends broke his prison, which, surprise, surprise, released an unknown number of other dangerous magical beings, all of whom got spat out across the timeline and now must be hunted down and sent to hell. Did I miss anything?

  Ava Sharpe : No, actually.

• Henry Heywood : You know, I've had to oversee some really far-out projects in my career, but I can't in good conscience have the DOD pay for a department that fights fairy tales.

  Ava Sharpe : Sir, uh, with all due respect, you cannot shut us down, please. The damage that these supernatural fugitives can cause is unfathomable.

  Henry Heywood : Director Sharpe, you seem like a very capable leader. Now, you say there's magic out there. And I say that I need proof.

  Ava Sharpe : Well...

  Gary Green : [unbuttoning his shirt]  Here's proof. A unicorn ate my nipple.

  Henry Heywood : [still skeptical]  Right.

  Ava Sharpe : Um...

  Henry Heywood : I'm shutting this place down.

  Ava Sharpe : [Hank leaves]  Gary, put it away!

• Nate Heywood : Hey, how'd it go out there?

  Ava Sharpe : Well, you better start packing your things, because he just gave the entire Bureau an eviction notice.

  Nate Heywood : Did you tell him about the magical creatures?

  Ava Sharpe : Oh, yeah. He's not buying it. He needs proof.

  Nate Heywood : Oh, that is such a Hank thing.

• Nate Heywood : I spent my entire life trying to convince Hank that I made something of myself, and most of the time, I was faking it, okay? So he's supposed to suddenly believe I'm a superhero who fought a unicorn. Come on.

  Ava Sharpe : Look, I know it's hard doing good when it seems like no one notices, but I have seen the good that you can do, okay? And that's why I believe that you can help us here, not because you're Hank's son, but because you...

  [seeing his attention drift off] 

  Ava Sharpe : Look at me.

  [he does so] 

  Ava Sharpe : You are a hero, okay? Now, Gary's seeing him out. We still have time.

  Nate Heywood : [standing up]  You schmoozed me.

  Ava Sharpe : Did it work?

• Henry Heywood : [Nate is trying to prove magic exists]  Son, I don't know who put you up to this, but...

  [the Fairy Godmother's spell is lifted, and Ray becomes human again] 

  Nate Heywood : [steeling up]  Oh, yeah, I'm also a superhero. And this is my friend Ray.

  Ray Palmer : Oh, hi, Mr. Heywood. Nice to finally meet you.

  Henry Heywood : How much money do you need to ensure that this never happens again?

  Ava Sharpe : $4.2 billion a year, sir.

  Henry Heywood : Done.

• Nate Heywood : Do you hear that? That's $4.2 billion, hell to the yes. Meet me uptown, Ava Sharpe.

  [they high-five] 

  Nate Heywood : Mm.

  Ava Sharpe : Okay, that was terrifying.

  Nate Heywood : Yeah.

  Ava Sharpe : But clearly effective. Thank you.

  Nate Heywood : Anytime. Always happy to help.

  Ava Sharpe : How about tomorrow? Now that I have $4.2 billion burning a hole in my pocket, you said you could use some income. I could use a guy like you around here. Think about it.