DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV Series)

Legends of To-Meow-Meow (2018)

Matt Ryan: John Constantine

Quotes 

• John Constantine : And the worst part? It didn't make a bloody difference. I was a fool thinking I could outrun this fight flying around with you lot.

  Sara Lance : Yeah. We tend to fly directly into fights. But, we do it together. And we have your back.

  John Constantine : Well, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into. Because a demon like Neron, he doesn't just wanna win. He wants to win to the cruelest possible way.

• John Constantine : What happened?

  Charlie : Passed out, mate.

  Zari Tomaz : He didn't just pass out. His brain can't handle this wad of bandages you call a timeline.

  John Constantine : Oh, I can take the pain, love.

  Zari Tomaz : What if you can't? What if you die, John? What happens to all the people who need you alive and... Constantine-y?

• John Constantine : What you're saying is that I broke time?

  Zari Tomaz : Yes, back in New Orleans. Sure, you don't have to live with the guilt of damning Desmond, but you also never joined the Legends.

  Charlie : Without John's help with the unicorn at Woodstock, Sara died, which made the Legends into killers. Well, there's only one way to fix this.

  John Constantine : We go back to Woodstock and we save Sara.

  Charlie : [excited]  Yeah.

  Zari Tomaz : No! Guys, you're not listening to me. You have to go to New Orleans and set history back on track.

  Charlie : Whoa, whoa, Z. You're suggesting a total reset of the timeline. What we need is a surgical strike. Now, if we save Sara, then the Custodians of the Chronology never exist. I keep my powers, Dez is de-demoned, Bob's your uncle.

  Zari Tomaz : I'm sorry, guys. I have to stop you before you make this any worse.

  [as she passes, Constantine pulls out a strand of her hair] 

  Zari Tomaz : Ow!

  John Constantine : [chanting a spell and turning her back into a cat]  All right, then. I'm sorry, love. Until you can learn to stay out of my way, then you...

  [picking her up and putting her in Charlie's backpack] 

  John Constantine : ...are a cat.

• Charlie : How much of that did you hear?

  Mona Wu : Uh... nothing at all. Nothing about breaking out or hacking history. Please don't turn me into a cat.

  John Constantine : Well, I didn't turn her into a cat. I returned her to being a cat, which is considerably easier, believe me.

• John Constantine : Yeah, we saved Sara's life. Now that should fix everything.

  Charlie : The Custodians should be back to being the Legends, and Zari should no longer be a cat.

  John Constantine : [seeing Zari still in her cat form]  All right, this might be a crossed-wire thing in my brain, but that is still a cat sitting there, isn't it?

• John Constantine : I didn't live this specific moment, but I remember it. It's all part of my jumbled, bloody memory.

  Zari Tomaz : By the way, only about ten percent of what you're saying makes any sense, but by all means, continue.

• Zari Tomaz : John, you okay?

  John Constantine : Yeah, well, my mind is no longer split in two, but can't say the same about my heart, though. You?

  Charlie : Well, lost my powers. Back to being mortal.

  Zari Tomaz : Sorry, guys. It had to be done.

  John Constantine : Well, let's go on and find the Legends, shall we?

  Charlie : Yeah, see if all this was worth it.

• Charlie : Ah, the usual insanity that passes for normal around here.

  Sara Lance : What is this? Why are you being so weird?

  John Constantine : [Charlie and Zari both glance at him, Z patting his shoulder as they leave]  Yeah, well, I, uh... I do have a little bit of a tale to tell, to be honest. You fancy a drink?

  Sara Lance : Mm, one of those stories. Let's go.