- Calibraxis: You're dead, demon hunter.
- John Constantine: I was going to be a demon proctologist, but the pay wasn't as good.
- Charlie: If I die, I'm gonna come back and haunt you.
- Zari Tomaz: [amused] I would love a ghost friend.
- Ava Sharpe: I am so sorry, Gary. I took you for granted. I never, ever should have let you do my dry cleaning or work overtime without pay. I mean, that's illegal, anyway. I'm so sorry.
- Mick Rory: I still want to kill you.
- [Gary gulps]
- Sara Lance: Gary. When Rip first recruited the Legends, he picked the people that were insignificant to history. The original losers. You don't have to be cool to be a Legend. And maybe we forgot that somewhere along the way, but... you are one of us.
- Nerdy Agent: #Eyesapp is trending on Twitter below Kanye's surprise album and a cat getting a bath.
- Ray Palmer: [possessed by Neron] Hmm. How many downloads?
- Nerdy Agent: Only two thousand, Mr. Palmer.
- Ray Palmer: News cycles so fast these days, it's hard to cut through all the noise. But a monster attack on the capital will dominate the headlines for weeks.
- Nora Darhk: And then what? More people will download some app? That's your big plan?
- Ray Palmer: Why, yes, it is.
- Nate Heywood: I don't care Neron is wearing my best friend's face. I want to punch him.
- Mick Rory: Get in line.
- Sara Lance: Gary has bonded with the Fairy Godmother, and while he might be an idiot, she is not to be underestimated. Mick, Nate, you think you can handle Tabitha?
- Mick Rory: Granny's dead.
- Nora Darhk: I'm tired of skulking around air ducts. I'm going after Mona.
- Ava Sharpe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're gearing up for an assault. Hold your position.
- Nora Darhk: [magically knocking an agent back] Too late.
- Nate Heywood: Wait, where's Gary?
- Nora Darhk: In Ava's office, getting real comfortable.
- Nora Darhk: I found Mona. Hurry.
- Sara Lance: Copy that.
- [montage of the Legends arming up]
- Zari Tomaz: This feels like overkill.
- Ava Sharpe: You know what, Gary? It's a little hard to feel sorry for you when you're holding us all hostage.
- Gary Green: You're not getting it. This whole time, Tabitha's been trying to use me to hurt you. All I wished was for us to hang out. I was trying to protect you. I get it, I'm not "cool". But I don't deserve to be treated like a joke. So now, now the joke's on you.
- Ava Sharpe: Why, you little...
- Fairy Godmother: I'd be careful how you speak to my charge.
- Sara Lance: Gary, why are you doing this?
- Gary Green: Because I would like to discuss...
- [holding up a book]
- Gary Green: "The Collector".
- Ava Sharpe: Forget the book, Gary. You helped a demon take control of the Bureau. What happened to the Bureau creed?
- Gary Green: Oh, I could ask the same about you. Article 27? Hmm? A supervisor must never show favoritism? You started a book club with another employee.
- Nora Darhk: Gary, Mona is being tortured right now.
- Gary Green: Neron said he's trying to protect humans from monsters. You saw Mona knaw off my nip.
- Ava Sharpe: She did you a favor.
- Ava Sharpe: [after magically speed-reading a book] Book was terrible.
- Sara Lance: Oh, my head.
- Gary Green: That's the spirit.
- Sara Lance: Hey, Nate. Can't talk right now.
- Gary Green: Are you talking to Nate on comms? Tell him I say hi.
- Sara Lance: Gary says hi. And we are at book club.
- [through gritted teeth]
- Sara Lance: Move on to plan B.
- Zari Tomaz: [on the ship] What's plan B?
- Mick Rory: I only listen for my name.
- Nate Heywood: I assume it's like plan A, but, you know, with less people.
- Nora Darhk: Why am I here?
- Ray Palmer: Well, you and John tried to kill me; nearly did. If the doofus in the skin suit I'm wearing hadn't have interrupted, I'd have been obliterated. I spent many nights just dreaming about how I was going to get my revenge. And then it came to me; what better punishment than making you sit front row to all of the fear and rage I'm about to unleash on the Earth, all while in the body of the man you love. Now...
- [a door opens and reporters clamor around]
- Ray Palmer: Smile for the camera.
- Gideon: I'm detecting a fugitive alert...
- [giggling as Gary tickles her AI interface]
- Gideon: ...stop it... at the Inquisition, Captain Green.
- Gary Green: Oh, I don't do torture.
- Ava Sharpe: Could have fooled me.
- Sara Lance: Hey. Play nice. We have to distract Gary while the B team is plan B... ing.
- Gary Green: I feel like a bridge scene should have more people.
- Sara Lance: Oh, no, we love three-people bridge scenes.
- Ava Sharpe: Yeah, otherwise we just end up standing around all day.
- Gary Green: Oh, that's why Mick's always grumpy.
- Nate Heywood: Sara, you guys okay?
- Sara Lance: Yeah, we're fine, as long as we keep placating Gary. I guess Charlie and Z are our last hope.
- Mick Rory: Great, we're toast.
- Ava Sharpe: Welcome to hell.
- Nate Heywood: Gary, is that the Kid Steel costume?
- Gary Green: Uh-huh.
- [posing]
- Gary Green: You likey?
- Nate Heywood: Why would anyone wish to be a sidekick?
- Mick Rory: Close your legs.
- Ava Sharpe: Oh, he's such an idiot.
- Zari Tomaz: Don't worry, we'll be safe here.
- Charlie: Where are we?
- Zari Tomaz: My childhood home.
- Charlie: I thought you grew up in a dystopian city, Z. You had a pool?
- Zari Tomaz: In a couple years, A.R.G.U.S. will use people's growing fear of metahumans to seize control. Of course, it didn't help that we were Muslim. We were forced to move to a ghetto district in 2021.
- Charlie: Humans are so easy to manipulate. I mean, you just show them a scary ogre or a dangerous meta, they just go barmy.
- Zari Tomaz: Haven't even been able to get into this Eyes app yet because the terms of service are so long.
- Charlie: Well, no one bothers reading those.
- Zari Tomaz: It's a demon app. I'm gonna read the fine print.
- Sara Lance: Hey, Z, Charlie, please tell me you have something.
- Zari Tomaz: Well, we figured out Neron's app is a way to collect souls.
- Sara Lance: That's crazy.
- Zari Tomaz: Yeah, it gets crazier. To drum up fear and increase downloads of his app, we think he may be planning a monster attack.
- Sara Lance: Okay, well, we'll stall Gary, but you got to get every single one of those monsters out of the Time Bureau.
- Charlie: I was afraid you were gonna say that.
- John Constantine: Greetings, Satan, first of the fallen.
- Satan: It's been a long time, John.
- John Constantine: Belial.
- Belial: We've been looking forward to hearing the bunk you're peddling.
- John Constantine: And Beelzebub. Not as popular, but you were always my personal favorite.
- Belial: Are you really here for Raymond Palmer?
- [Constantine sees them all vanish]
- Belial: [out in the hallway behind him] We thought there was another. A young girl whose life you destroyed.
- Satan: Astra.
- John Constantine: Yeah, well, you know, I didn't want to be too greedy. But, yeah, I'll take them both.
- Zari Tomaz: Stick to the plan, Charlie.
- Agent Neil McNeil: You mean the plan where I need to rely on my shoddy shape-shifting to portal creatures one by one out of their cells and onto the Waverider, where Gary may or may not wish them to kingdom come?
- Zari Tomaz: Yep, that plan.
- Ray Palmer: Hi, I'm Ray Palmer. Yes, that Ray Palmer; former CEO of PalmerTech. And I am here to warn you that creatures once thought only in legends and fairy tales are real.
- [an ogre throws a chair, but it harmlessly bounces off the containment force field]
- Ray Palmer: Yes, folks, monsters are real, and they walk amongst us. And they will stop at nothing until they destroy humankind. Interested in learning more? Then join me at PalmerX 2019, where the power is in the palmer of your hands.
- Gary Green: Oh, Fairy Godmother!
- Sara Lance: [seeing Nora appear] Nora.
- Nate Heywood: [quietly] Oh...
- Gary Green: Go find John and help him rescue Ray from hell.
- Nora Darhk: Oh, fiddlesticks.
- Sara Lance, Ava Sharpe: [a portal opens] Wait, wait, wait, wait!
- Nate Heywood: Gary!
- Nora Darhk: [she's pulled into the portal] Gary, you dick!
- John Constantine: Astra, love. This isn't you.
- Astra Logue: Oh, of course it is. Or would you rather I stayed that terrified little girl, crying and waiting for you to come and rescue me? I would have been waiting a long time.
- John Constantine: I am so, so sorry, love, but... this place, it's twisted you.
- Astra Logue: If anything... it's made me more like you. Right, John?
- John Constantine: You're not like me. You're not.
- Astra Logue: You chose wrong. You should have saved your friend.
- Zari Tomaz: What about Charlie? It's my fault. I'm the one that convinced her to risk everything.
- Sara Lance: Hey, don't go down that road. We'll do what we always do.
- Mick Rory: Yeah, forming stupid Beebos.
- Gary Green: I want to dig deeper on my next wish.
- Fairy Godmother: Excellent idea. What do you have in mind?
- Gary Green: Well... we've already redecorated my office. I now have three nipples, because a spare never hurts, and...
- Fairy Godmother: Perhaps you could make a wish regarding the Legends?
- Gary Green: You want me to wish something for them?
- Fairy Godmother: I'm talking about revenge.
- Fairy Godmother: They lied to you, Gary. Promised you could be an interim Legend. One wish, and you can send them all to hell with John Constantine.
- Gary Green: Speaking of John, you think he's all right?
- Fairy Godmother: That warlock sent thousands of demons to rot in the pits.
- [laughing]
- Fairy Godmother: I think he's well and truly screwed, dearie.