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Reviews
Oppenheimer (2023)
Oppie's 600lb Tumor
Oliver Stone is calling this a "Classic"? He's right. When I fell for the rope-a-dope of this oversold, overbaked ham, I became $22 poorer and endured 3 hours of wiki-level storytelling, silly "drama-inducing" time jumps, a ridiculously unrealistic Gen. Leslie Groves, made up stories (the poisoned apple, the Einstein conversation), and a pain inducing, punctuated-moment volume level employed as a snore prevention mechanism. My theater's audience was like a zombie convention. No one moved. No one laughed. When I walked outside to the freedom of the early evening sun I did laugh as I exclaimed "They got me! Classic." To be fair though, the popcorn was top notch. It's sad that Hollywood is so desperate to duplicate the "only in theaters" modus to success demonstrated by last year's Top Gun Maverick that they'll use every trick in the book to get us in there. When they have to sell it as the heaviest roll of film ever made "it's a 600lb IMAX reel!!!", you know the movie has some real problems. Halfway through, I begrudgingly admitted to my wife that we should have seen "Barbie", and rented this. I wish we had. Now I'm shock-deaf in my left ear, have a popcorn tummy ache, an empty wallet, and I didn't even earn any brownie points. Seriously, if I had been kidnapped by aliens and "lost" 3 hours, I would still have more to talk about.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Re-Inserting the Prime Program
A beautifully constructed meta transition back into the world we remember and still love. Lana could not have reached higher with her carefully placed icons and symbolism, keeping with the original ideal yet still addressing our society's continuous drift into a more nuanced existence. By releasing us all into her profound vision, she becomes the truest temptress, for the blue pill could not, at times, seem more appealing. Carpe vitam, Lana, with an alabaster finish!
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Enter the Dragon, Part VII
Verdict: When an "A" student suddenly turns in a "C" paper, you give them an F.
Despite all the positive reviews; unless you are looking for quick martial thrills and some unique methods of death, nearly everything else in this latest entry to the historically fantastic John Wick saga is a drawn out tapestry of mild disappointment. Not without moments of clarity, it is nevertheless unoriginal and lacking of previously well established intellect. The repetitive & terribly contrived storyline compares poorly to the previous films. You will certainly be saying "Why didn't John just..." on more than one occasion. At this point, it appears quite the overbaked ham, rehashing successful scenes from the first two films - and more than one Bruce Lee movie for good measure.
The ending, you ask? Ludicrous and shamefully dishonest to established character development. Any salvation that "John Wick 4" could bring to the franchise might as well be imbued with magic, aliens, or social justice - just to keep things fresh (Tongue-in-cheek, of course. Please don't. Some things really are a bridge too far.)
Inspirations: I left with a belly full of popcorn, and an itch to start running. This won't end well.
Remember (2015)
Revenge Fantasy Hobbles Down A Well-Trodden Path
If not for the chops of the actors involved in this film, we would be left with nothing more than the modern sensitive-arts version of "Death Wish". That being said, revealing the fundamental plot line at the end of the film might seem clever to twenty-somethings who are currently "Feeling the Bern", but it does little to satisfy the mature mind beyond causing one to hiccup and say "Hmmm. Isn't that a 'I so want to think I'm giddily deft' twist on the part of the writer." If only Hollywood focused as much on what is important in our culture now as they do tripping over themselves in a nostalgic search for justice to the cause celeb of the week, studios would not be worried about going bankrupt. Hipsters in the major cities may enjoy this fodder, but the rest of the country has neither the time, inclination, nor the patience for adding another coat of paint to such respectfully well worn (and better told) subject matter. Save your time and money and see Schindler's List again. There is no comparison.
The X Files (1993)
A Tin Foil Hat folded into a Crack Pipe
*UPDATE AT BOTTOM*
Chris Carter pulled out all the stops to compress an incohesive and completely implausible conspiracy storyline into a scant "6 Episode Event" - and still manages the time to troll everything he personally dislikes.
From Bush, the military industrial complex, pharmaceutical companies, fossil fuels, Fox News, Republicans, and conservatives, the "They Are All Evil" mantra has become all-too familiar banter from the lunatic leftist fringe over the last several decades, and Chris Carter makes no bones about being lock-step with the present-day form of the political brown shirts on these issues. Quick flashes of Bush's face while describing the evildoers portends to be subliminal (like in 2008's "I Want to Believe"), but merely comes across as childish and naive. If the Republicans are in on it - then so are the Democrats, otherwise the alien "secret" would already be public. Giving Clinton and Obama a pass doesn't make any sense unless you are drinking the Kool-Aid. In which case, you really shouldn't be making a show about conspiracy theories. You are part of one.
For a conspiracy show to have plausibility, it has to have a solid premise. This new "envisioning" fails on nearly every level. Chris Carter throws out the book on everything built over 9 previous years of the show to tell us that, "Oh, yes. Aliens are out there. But they don't do anything to us. It is evil men using their technology." This could not get more confounded or silly.
The entire concept of this new story arc is debunked with one simple question: Does anyone here believe that the U.S. government would expose it's ultra Top Secret, alien reverse-engineered aircraft to the prying eyes of every cell phone camera in America, or risk crashing it, to kidnap unsuspecting civilians to use in medical experiments? If so, why wouldn't they just get a few vans and pick up homeless people from major cities? You could collect a thousand in one night - and no one would be the wiser. Even "Blade (1998)" had a more realistic premise on where vampires get their blood supply. Oh, and don't forget the group of civilian "experts" in the desert that somehow managed to build their own version of Aurora using Mercury-based superfluid toroidal anti-gravity - and LED invisibility projection, too. And what did they do with it? Did they present their research and design to journalists, the scientific community, or even post it on the internet freely for all to see? Nope. They stashed it in a hangar for years and only allowed Mulder to see it. It was there for no other purpose than to be destroyed by the "evil" U.S. military.
As for the acting, it was painfully forced and dishearteningly shy. This was an opportunity for both David and Gillian to really re-embrace their roles with fervor. Instead, they exuded the type of pain that only comes when someone believes they are being forced to swallow their own vomit. They both begrudgingly present themselves for the camera as though they feel the entire franchise is behind them - and being "forced" to do this again is beneath them. They, in real life, have become the elites this show is about. Forgetting your fans and where your career started is a prideful way of "Fighting the Future". It mirrors Leonard Nimoy's 70's dichotomy when he wrote "I Am Not Spock", followed a decade later by "I Am Spock". We can only hope that one day they will awaken to this "Truth" and appreciate the fame that we, as the fans, gave them.
Based on Chris Carter's apparent personal politics, it is readily clear that the next 5 episodes will not be any more enlightening. The truth is indeed out there. But it is all too apparent that we, as fans and human beings, will not find it in this catastrophe of an homage.
2/10. I would have given it a 1, but William B. Davis' appearance and final lines provided a very mild, if melodramatic, redemption.
UPDATE: I had to bump it up to 4/10 due to last night's (S01E02) episode. It went from a dark cloud to one with a silver lining in one night! No politics, better acting (by the supporting cast, at least), and a more intelligent premise. Holding out hope that they will continue to lift a bar that was set so low on the outset. Not much, just a little. Chris, like all those of his political ilk, won't let an opportunity to chum the airwaves with his political blood escape. I only hope the production team held him down for the remaining 4 episodes.
Star Trek Continues (2013)
The Best of What is Otherwise Complete Crap
Although I'm sure most reviewers will claim some kind of "afficionado" accolade regarding All-Things-Trek, I will not. I am merely an observer. Another simple observer who cashed in his MENSA card for a seat in front of an LED television to demonstrably display my anathema and contempt for the world - and embroil my soul and my remaining years with a Quixote fantasy of what it all could be - while using sci-fi as my malleable construction medium.
Blindsided by the existence of STC this week, I had thought I knew it all, had seen it all, and was on the "bleeding edge" of science fiction media since Sci-Fi only existed in the realm of extreme "geekdom". Like a child watching a launch at Canaveral, my eyes were opened. Funny what having a job and raising a family has done. Like the proverbial frog in the pot, I lost my focus but kept my pride. As modern parlance dictates, "My Bad", "Oh, Snap", or "Damn". Take your pick (just don't pick "Oh, Snap" - ever).
BACKGROUND
So there I was last night, searching for information on a Klingon character in "Star Trek Into Darkness" (Sean Blakemore), because his intensity reminded me of Tony Todd. Don't start (LOL) - Klingons really do look alike, before or after that (Shhh!) "Unspeakable Event" on Kronos. It was there that I spotted a link on IMDb to this series and followed the click-bait. I then DL'd and watched my first episode of STC (ep. Fairest of Them All), and was stunned. I picked it because the description stated it was supposedly the extension of TOS "Mirror, Mirror" (one of the best). Now I had, long ago, given up on watching non-canon "fan-fic" versions of ST over the years, given the complete and unadulterated CRAP that has been produced using no sets, green screens, and the worst pseudo-acting script reads imaginable (I won't name any names, Star Trek Hidden Frontier). These fans have always had the passion, but lacked the acting chops and production knowledge to give anything a decent treatment.
OBSERVATIONS
Seen for what it is, an extension of the original series, I was completely blown away, as my desperate, childlike internal need for anything "Original Trek" clouded my mind just enough for me to suspend my disbelief of several minor transgressions. Yet I've come to believe that many of these claimed "Social Justice Warrior 2000" transgressions are exactly what the creators intended. The mild overacting of Kirk, the "60's moral arc" storyline, and the script was not meant to so much "Boldly Go" into the future, as so many have desperately attempted and failed, but rather to "Boldly Bring Us Back" to the golden years of Trek. The sets, color production, uniforms, style, and method were spot on mark. Everything was so accurate, I actually started to nitpick at the fact that the characters didn't "look" or "sound" EXACTLY like the original cast, and that they could have used a couple more takes on the acting. I had to kick myself a little and ask "Geez, what more could you ask for here?". Stand 10 feet back from your screen with the volume muted, and you'd believe this IS an original episode. Try it!
This "Vic Mignogna" character, whoever he is, clearly has an extreme passion for the franchise, and has gone out of his way to make the most clean and accurate depiction of TOS that I have EVER seen in a Fan produced serial. Is it perfection? No. Is it as close as we're ever going to see without a major studio shelling out millions? Quite probably. I'm sold. I sincerely hope they make more, and would love to help if they asked. This is at least a full order of magnitude better than any other fan-produced show I have seen calling itself "something-something TREK and blah-blah-blah beyond" since Enterprise was canceled. The new "Star Trek: Renegades" isn't even as emotive.
DISSATISFIED?
As for all the haters I'm seeing, hate away. Nobody cares. It reads like little mama's fan-boys choking on the chum of "DC vs Marvel" all over again. Uhhh. I'd rather watch CSPAN than troll through someone's manic-depressive lost childhood. Sorry, was that a "micro-aggression" to someone's frail sensibilities? Tough. You know it's true, so join the party or get off the boat.
BOTTOM LINE - If you're a TOS fan, you cannot do better on what is quite probably the best tribute to the original series ever produced. We're in the golden era of re-visited classics, and this one stands out like a gem. (8/10)
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Incredible and Stunning! Is A New Series Coming?
The Critics? What planet are they on? You will love this movie! As a lifelong Star Trek nut, this film has it all. My wife (who is not a Trek fan) was crying through the best parts of this one. Awesome movie for families and even older kids (warning - head crushing scene, one underwear scene, but no nudity). I'm not going to get into analytical critiquing that so many others have for no good reason other than some type of self-gratifying (Ahem) exercise. This update has all the best parts of what fans were screaming for, and a great storyline even for the non-trekker.
At the end of the film, it was noted that the Enterprise was "beginning a five-year mission" like in the original series. Imagine Joss Whedon piloting the helm of this endeavor, resurrecting Gene Roddenberry's original "Wagon to the Stars" concept that he put so much effort into when making "Firefly". Dream Big! Awesome, simply awesome show. Thank you, Mr. Abrams!
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
One of the best sci-fi films this year!
I don't understand the whining I'm hearing on IMDb about this movie. Maybe the portly fanboys should stay home and watch their reruns of Babylon 5 rather than attempting to comment on a film with solid acting, storyline, and FX (like Codeine cough syrup, watching "Enterprise" reruns more than once a month causes one to forget what those things are). Guys who spend most of their time staring at pictures of Bea Arthur in their basements don't rate high on my "critics" scale.
As for me, I was extremely surprised at the "bring it home" storyline and key elements that were included in this film. They even kept the faith with such homages to Sigourney Weaver's famous APC driving scene from "Aliens" and even the some of the cool alien sound effects used by James Cameron. The fear and horror elements of the film were also true-to-life and really struck up the "what would you do" thinking we've all done regarding these horrific creatures. The ending was even great and left the door open for future work. I walked out of the theatre feeling refreshed, given that the first AVP left me a little less than impressed (despite Lance Henriksen's typically fantastic work).
This film certainly restored my faith in the franchise - whether Sigourney ever comes back or not (but we hope she will!) For me, here's how it rates against the competition (best to worst): Alien, Aliens, AVPR, Alien Resurrection, AVP, Alien 3.
See it or rent it. You won't be disappointed.
Rambo (2008)
Stallone takes Rambo all the way Home...
Stallone has truly done it again. We were treated last year to a much more truthful and humanistic closing to the "Rocky" saga, and with this he has also brought Rambo full circle - literally.
The movie's message is a powerful one, striking at the heart with the most aspiring of the holy emotions. The film depicts accurately the most extreme forms of human barbarity (short of cannibalism) and does not pull any punches in doing so.
However, the true message of the film expands into multiple parts as the storyline progresses, including John's own realization of what life means to him - giving him "the reason" that he has been searching for in his life. This ultimately leads to the completion of his own journey. It also focuses on the striking difference between those of us in civilized culture and those who have endured or witnessed such cruelty, bringing home a truth that at the heart of man is the beast - and we must be ever vigilant in our own culture here at home as to not allow the display of this beast to ever become acceptable. Through this, the film's two strongest messages become clear - that violence is necessary to defeat violence, and that the blessings we shroud ourselves in here in this country were paid for by the blood of many - a truth that has since been almost forgotten and replaced with naive logic that is only true within the "bubble" of this nation's blessed Post-WWII life.
Our complacency in our beautiful, sheltering society has resulted in the "belief" by both those on the left and right that perhaps "violence doesn't solve anything", or that "everyone can be reached through peaceful means". Stallone makes a very strong point in this area - which may be why some reviewers are approaching it from an immature perspective - categorizing it as "gory" and "lowbrow entertainment". This is naive and simplistic, and shows their impatience or inexperience with a message this important, yet so well hidden.
Congratulations Sly on another commanding film. This is a definite must-see.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008)
Summer Do Surprise Me ...
Absolutely Phenomenal... and most unexpected! Summer Glau has definitely grown out of the stringy-haired girl with an emotional bent in Firefly to the virtually unrecognizable champion in this latest "T" venture. She carries her character with the perfect blend of demure purity along with an occasional accentuation to which only deep brown eyes can travel. I'm ashamed to say, for as much of a browncoat I purport to be, I didn't even realize it was her until she revealed her "protector" identity 15 minutes into the pilot. She just looked too good!
Lena Headly has Sarah Connor virtually nailed on this initial pilot. This type of instant capability means only that Lena can lead the way in defining Sarah for this franchise, as well as much of the storyline. Once again, the eyes have it. Lena has a scene where she is in the back of a police car and stares into the camera. Her gaze and intensity so closely matched that of Linda Hamilton's in previous movie scenes that I felt both a sense of nostalgia and dejavu at the same time.
Thomas Dekker playing John Connor had me concerned for the first ten minutes of the show. Here they had found an actor that LOOKED sufficiently like the John Connor's from T2 and T3 - but could he act the part? And which part - the "Rebel John" (T2) or the "Yellow John" (T3)? Suffice it to say, ladies and gentlemen, Thomas does himself and the franchise proud. I think "Yellow John" can now be presumed dead. I checked out his IMDb profile and he, for a 20 year old, has amassed a resume' comparable to many 40 year-old actors (He started at age 6 on Y&R). With this type of background and comfort level with the camera, I can't wait to see how he develops this character into the leader we were all expecting in T3. We should sign Thomas up with an off-season stint at the Shakespearean troupe in London to round out his resume'. Hard work, but A-lister shine does comes from the polishing.
And Richard T. Jones as James Ellison closes the loop on the necessary "hunter" role for this series. With an extensive background including roles in Collateral, Breach, and Phone Booth, Richard can choose to either make-or-break this series with his approach to his character. The "villain-like" role in this type of show is critical to it's success. They must be both believable as well as emotionally involved in the events at hand (much like Tommy Lee Jones was in "The Fugitive"). It was clear to me when I first took notice of Richard's talent in Event Horizon that he had the fortitude for both.
Rarely do I post in these columns - but I was particularly struck by what I saw within the first 15 minutes of this show. Being a pilot, they are rarely this refined. Whoever is handling the cast development really worked with these four people to help them acquire the "Terminator" aura and develop their characters. My accolades. I only wish the show was starting this week so I could see the next episode.
In closing, please don't respond to this with quibbles over storyline arcs and checksums (or where to download the pilot!) Anyone who has seen new theatrical takes on Shakespearean literature that exceed previous works understands the premise that art is creation, not duplication. One takes an idea and expounds with their own vision. No one complained when James Cameron took Titanic (a well-documented, factual event) and added a love triangle that never existed. His presentation was just too good. Herein should be garnered the same thought.
Excellent overall. I'm looking forward to this one.