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Reviews
Romantic Comedy (2019)
Atrocious
Vacuous nonsense. Not quite sure what the director had in mind here but this documentary seemed like little more than a vanity project.
A Quiet Place (2018)
A Watch-Paint-Dry Place
Reasonably interesting (if not a bit
hackneyed and corny) premise. Essentially a snooze-fest. If you like continual closeups of Emily Blunt's massive confused/shocked/puckered face then you'll chew down on this. Pretty sure there's a few death scenes in this. No spoilers.
The Mandalorian (2019)
NOT the second coming!
I've been fairly impressed with the show so far; just about the right mix of action, heart, comedy and suspense. For my tastes, it's too violent in places and seems like it's trying a bit too hard to be - and I hate this term - 'gritty'. Carl Weathers and Gina Carano do an amiable job in their respective roles.
What grinds my gears, though, is frankly the absurd fandom and overhype surrounding this. There's far too many people acting as if it's somehow the Second Coming of Christ... or something equally preposterous! Yes, it's good but people need to calm down with it and get a grip. If this is somehow considered to be 'perfection' then people need their heads examined. The dumbing down of society continues.
Still/Born (2017)
Death by hackneyed trope
Hey, you! Do you like corny, lazy, hackneyed tropes? If so, step right this way!
The film starts out fairly well and builds slowly but quickly nosedives into a crescendo of awful horror cliches and jump scares.
One positive: Michael Ironside is in it... but, even then, that's just a glorified cameo.
An English Haunting (2020)
Pretty awful
Interesting premise and a couple of good scares but the two leads are appalling; terrible, camp acting and they come across as so insufferable that the film was a chore. Also, I'm not buying the high reviews here - seems that these have been bought and those who have given it a rightfully low score are being marked down by others. Incredibly suspect...
LOL: Last One Laughing Australia (2020)
The epitome of being trapped in hell
Not even Rebel Wilson can save this festering, sinking ship of nonsense. The premise seemed interesting but these guys just aren't cutting it.
Puerile, childish, coarse 'humour' doesn't make for fun viewing. Special shoutout to Anne Edmonds for being particularly insufferable and somehow making a car crash even more sad and tragic than it already is.
If you're a fan of brain dead humour with no subtlety and nuance then you'll lap up this tripe.
The Perfection (2018)
Disgusting, trite nonsense
Seems more like an exercise in ticking as many amoral and taboo boxes as possible. The cinematography is polished to within an inch of its life and the only thing it's going to be remembered for is how shocking and try-hard it is. Terrible nonsense.
Annihilation (2018)
Lamentable
Sat down to watch this after hearing some good reviews from friends. While it's not a total waste of time there were several things that really irked me.
It seems that several of the ideas have been lifted from the amazing work of JG Ballard (a sort of pastiche of The Drowned World and The Crystal World). That, in itself isn't a bad thing but the execution - complete with an abundance of dated CGI - cheapens the whole ordeal.
Also, I'm simply not buying Natalie Portman as a military type; poor casting. As usual she's her usual insufferable self and phones it in.
What really ate away at me was the abysmal script and delivery. The film takes itself far too seriously; riddled with atrocious and preposterous dialogue.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
A flawed but decent send off (no spoilers)
Given the magnitude and somewhat unenviable task of wrapping up the entire saga, the film is a superb, breakneck thrill ride.
It does misfire in some places and drag at times but there's no denying there are some amazing goosebump-inducing moments and there's certainly no lack of emotion. The nostalgia levels are through the roof and I had fun picking out the Easter eggs. For someone who has mixed views on the new trilogy this was a fitting send off.
The War of the Worlds (2019)
Jumbled mess marred by Eleanor Tomlinson
You'd think that with such a large budget and superb source material the BBC would've been able to create a masterpiece. Instead we got this garbled nonsense that deviates (in a terrible way) from the original text. It's long, dull, relies on cheap jump-scares (seriously?!) and - for some reason - Eleanor Tomlinson is utterly insufferable in it - lots of close ups of her huge head looking distressed/scared/happy - who knows?!
A huge wasted opportunity.
House of Temptation (2014)
Just atrocious
Like someone else said - I've no idea why this has received such a high score from other viewers. Terrible premise, abysmal acting (if you can call if that) and it moves at a snail's pace. Has the overall look and feel of a school project.