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Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Woeful - Absolutely Woeful
Remember watching the '78 version of this movie in the early 80's, and having nightmares for weeks after.
Admittedly, although that version is now completely outdated - it's still 100 times better than this pile of complete junk.
Once again, a remake which should just never have happened - at least not like this. Bad acting, terrible script (which does try to pull a few lines from the '78 version as justification), I honestly can't find a good thing to say about it.
A waste of time to try and remake it (can't believe it actually made money), and a complete waste of time in trying to watch this version.
It really is bad.
If you played it in a mortuary, I wouldn't be surprised if someone actually unzipped themselves, shuffled over and turned it off.
Awake (2021)
A Void of Nothingness
Actually started out quite promising (or so I thought). - well, for the first few minutes anyway.
There's just nothing new to see in this movie - it looks rushed and almost thrown together as tho' they were just trying to fill an hour and a half with pointless.... whatever they were trying to achieve. It didn't work for me.
Other reviews seem to have got it spot on too - this movie may cause drowsiness.
Avoid.
Bedeviled (2016)
App'alling.
I watched this both when quite drunk, and while mostly fast forwarding.
It was so predictable I could even follow it on x30 speed.
I actually felt quite bad for the 'actors', as they're going to be remembered for this complete and total train crash of a movie.
Is it scary? No.
Cheap? Yes.
Well thought out? No. (But could have been).
Original? No. (The Ring etc... did a much better job).
Recommended? No no no.
Please people... Look at the reviews and don't waste your time.
I promise... It really is THAT BAD!
0/10
Hereditary (2018)
High Hopes That Didn't Deliver
On seeing the rating (7.7), and the trailers for this movie, we went with high hopes that we were going to see something special in the horror department - how wrong were we?
To put it simply... the film is long, boring, and left several people in the theatre asking "WTF"? Myself included.
I'm afraid it's another movie where the trailer is probably the best part; tied together with pointless dialogue and scenes which served little to no purpose, and could have saved the audience 30/40 mins of their life if they'd have been left out.
I can't understand how this movie has achieved a rating of 7.7.
I would give it a 3/3.5 at most.
Verdict: Avoid - It's just pointless.
Unsane (2018)
Difficult to Review
Once again, a movie where the best bits seem to have been used up in the trailer.
Unsane is quite a difficult movie to review (and watch) - a case of 'is she or isn't she', with an almost constant feeling of 'where's all this going to..... and perhaps more importantly - why'?
It's one of those 'what have we just watched' type of movies, and one which may leave you more confused than you thought was humanly possible by the end of it.
It could have been a pretty good show if it wasn't for the story-line, plot holes and mistakes; and while I commend the approach taken to film on an iPhone, for me it didn't work.
Direction seemed out of place in several scenes, and nothing ever really seemed to flow along.
All-in-all, I'm afraid I would give Unsane a miss - I just didn't get any of it.
3/10
An Honest Liar (2014)
Interesting Documovie
I found this to be an interesting move/documentary into the life and work of James Randi - I had no idea before this that he had quite an accomplished past as a performer himself.
Having watched several presentations in which he debunks countless (fake) psychic/mystic charlatans; I was interested to see a little deeper into his life.
Yes, a considerable portion of the movie is given to his personal relationship, but it's also revealed where his passion for exposing 'frauds' comes from.
Yes... it's a little wishy/washy here and there - but so is the world of deception.
Knowing and seeing how far people are willing to go for 'cures' and a better quality of life has always intrigued me; and I feel it's only right that the people who can 'claim' to grant and provide such wishes are exposed.
You can only admire that the man claiming such things to be 'fake', seems to back up his claims by explaining how they're done to the people who matter.
Whilst not all of this was shown here, he obviously ruffled enough feathers to hopefully allow people to see what really may be going on behind the scenes.
All-in-all... a good watch.
8/10
Atlantic Rim: Resurrection (2018)
OK.... This Is A Joke Right?
I managed to watch it, but I've really no idea how.... woeful, terrible, pointless - I honestly can't express enough how bad this film really is.
As other reviews have said... from the 'acting' to the script, to the CGI, everything about this excuse for a movie is just wrong wrong wrong on so many levels, and should be put out of it's misery. It's not even good enough for the bargain bin!
If it was a B Movie from the early 80's, it may just have warranted a 2/10, but as it's supposed to be 2018, and obviously a rip-off of 'Pacific Rim', I honestly can't find the words to describe this complete waste of time and effort - what were you guys seriously thinking?
No idea how I made it through this - yes.. I feel tremendous shame that I actually did, if not just to warn others to avoid at all costs.
0/10
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Pathetic!!
I thought I was the only person who was disappointed with this movie - how it got a 7/10, I have no idea. Everyone I have asked about it told me not to bother - I wish I had of listened.
Please don't confuse this with previous 'Kong' movies - they are worlds apart; and only go to show what happens when you throw a s''tload of money at something to make it supposedly 'spectacular', and end up with nothing but garbage.
CGI isn't too bad - once they discover how to get perspective right. Script is woeful - filled with gung-ho attitude and cheap 'kick-ass' dialog which just doesn't work at all within the context of the movie.
Storyline - well, it could have been done in half the time. I'm not even sure there is a story in all of this, apart from a group of 'look how mean and brave' we are men going to kill monsters. Mix that with a script that thinks it's from Rambo, and the entire budget, CGI and just about everything else associated with this film becomes a complete waste of time.
A real pity - it could have been so so good.
1/10
Operation Avalanche (2016)
Dumb & Dumber meets Bill & Ted.
Oh boy... What a complete load of c''p.
This could have been an excellent film if they'd just gotten a decent cast, and not made it look like a few overly excited kids who'd gotten a movie camera for Christmas.
I'm quite into conspiracy films/documentaries; however, the only thing I am left thinking after watching this is where did that hour and-a-half really go to? Please believe other reviews telling you not to waste your time... I wish I had.
Found lost tapes movies are generally not my thing; and I can honestly say that I just wish this one had of remained lost. There is quite literally nothing good I can say about it. Acting (if you can call it that) is woeful, camera-work isn't a great deal better, and the overall feel of the whole watching experience became quite painful.
Maybe NASA could do us all a favour and include whoever was involved in the making of this trash on their next mission to Mars.... even Pluto would do!
Seriously folks.... Don't waste your time. Pathetic.
0/10 (A first for me).
Swiss Army Man (2016)
Oh Dear... Oh Dear... Oh Dear.
I made it to 55 mins - do I get an award?
Right... I've seen some pretty whacky films in my time; and while I appreciate the many which made me think sideways or upside-down - this just hurt my head.
Can't fathom the rave reviews, where some people have seemingly found hidden meaning and inner-peace within the script... for me it was pure mind and visual torture.
No real creative direction (especially if you've seen Weekend at Bernies). Completely mind-wrecking and almost amateur script, which just adds to the feel and nature of the film which is not good to begin with. I was almost hoping for a great white attack during the 'jet-ski' scene, in the hope it would all be over soon; but there never appears to be one around when you really need it.
Not a great deal more I can say regarding this movie... except, now I know what the useless items are on a Swiss Army knife.... they apparently make films!
Seriously people... Don't waste your time.
2/10
The Shallows (2016)
Watchable - Just.
It's difficult to write a review about a shark movie whilst not comparing it to a certain "we need a bigger boat" classic. It certainly doesn't come close to that particular film - it's watchable; but that's about it in my opinion.
The Shallows is unfortunately one of those movies which, once you have seen the trailers, you've pretty much seen the entire film. There's not a huge story-line involved... yes, there's the main character (Blake Lively - who is also very beautiful) coming to terms with her own past and decisions she's made.
I felt that once the story got going, everything slowed down to a standstill; and I'm afraid to say that I started feeling bored - far from what I expected after seeing the trailers and hype.
I'm not saying The Shallows is a bad movie - Blake does a decent job, the CGI/shark scenes/SFX are more believable than most films in this 'genre', and the acting isn't anything to complain about. Where The Shallows loses stars (for me) is just the fact that the story-line is very limited - it's more of a psychological survival battle than a hunter/prey type movie.
To sum up - The Shallows is worth a watch. I wouldn't put it up there with the 'classic', but nor would I put it down with some of the worst shark movies I've tried to watch (you know the ones). Location and atmosphere all work (would probably be difficult to do a shark movie that didn't involve the sea tho' - although it's being done in one of those crazy ones!). I was very much looking forward to this film; am just a little disappointed there wasn't more to it - jump scenes, shark scenes and perhaps a slightly better story line.
Finally...I wouldn't be surprised if Steven Seagull gets his own movie next year!
Overall: 5/10... Not the best... but far from the worst.
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Oh Please - Why Bother??
I think the real reason Will Smith decided not to appear in this 'remake'/sequel was probably down to him reading the script; seeing some screen shots, and thinking WTF?
Why oh why do they bother doing a follow-up of what was a perfectly good film, and completely destroying just about every part of it? The script is woeful (ridiculous one-liners which are totally out of context - think of Starship Troopers with a script written by a 9-year-old and you'll get the idea).
Obviously the majority of the budget was spent on CGI - and even that wasn't great in parts. I felt some parts had a very synthetic feel with poor layering making it look... well like poor CGI. I can only suggest that the designers/programmers had also seen the script and cast and thought it was all a bit of a joke anyway - they wouldn't have been far wrong.
Trying to re-create the classic 'punch' scene from the original movie was completely wasted, and should have been the first (of many) scenes to hit the cutting room floor.
The one thing this film will make you appreciate, is the value Will Smith brings to a movie. I'm seriously delighted he couldn't find the time (apparently) to have anything to do with this farce.
For anyone who actually enjoyed this movie - may I suggest (if you're unfamiliar with the first 'original' instalment) that you watch the 1996 release and see for yourself the complete mess and waste of time they spent on this effort.
All-in-all summary: Acting 3/10. Script: 2/10 Actors' On-screen chemistry - non-existent. Special FX 3.5/10 Rating 1.5/10.
Verdict: Waste of time in making something which had already stood the test of time for the past 20 years. Well done Mr. Smith for giving this one a wide birth.
The Invitation (2015)
What Have I Just Watched?
I feel I've really missed something in this film judging by some of the positive reviews it has achieved - I however really didn't get it at all. To be totally honest I found it boring, drawn out and not particularly original.
My first problem lay in the overall 'feel' of the movie - it just wasn't believable somehow. Any notion that something was about to take place was only weakened by not so great acting mixed with the constant thought of 'please let this be over soon'.
Secondly (and perhaps my biggest gripe) is the fact that there are just too many lose ends. These people have supposedly been friends for years, but there's little if any chemistry on screen, so the cast almost become objects of little to no depth or real character. I found I really didn't care what happened to them in the end (or throughout for that meter).
There was plenty of room for several great sub-plots to be created and introduced instead of flashbacks (which didn't really add much anyway); and none of which were incorporated or expanded upon - no twists or turns which could have really set the movie up for a great climax. Nope - none of that... Well - maybe a very small "oh" at the end... But it is a 'very' small one.
I read that the movie was made with no real major backing, and after watching it, I'm afraid I can see why. Sadly (or perhaps luckily for some), it will be a film which will be easily forgotten.
2/10
Deadpool (2016)
Disappointing.
Like many people, I had been anticipating Deadpool for quite some time and had been looking forward to it. What a let down. If it's directed toward 'adults', I have no idea why it's so childish in nature - I had to finish watching it on my own (later) after a group of us decided to watch it and lasted 20 mins before there was a general vote that it was rubbish. I was sorry I tried to give it a chance - it just didn't get any better... it actually got worse!
The jokes/humour is bad (really childish), the fight scenes match the humour, and the overall style and feel is more like.... well I honestly don't know... I just know that I braved it to the end and got very little out of it. For such a large amount of hype, I expected something better than this - much better.
Such a high score brings to mind another movie - featuring a certain 'Max', where I just feel it too was overrated... over-hyped... and was very happy when it was over. I've loved a lot of what Marvel have done with many of their adaptations; but this certainly isn't one of them. Not by a long shot.
3.5/10
Tooken (2015)
Still better than Taken 2
Doesn't deserve such a low rating score - I've seen a lot lot worse ranked a lot lot higher.
Tooken is obviously a spoof based in Taken, and it's pretty funny in places - some places more than others for sure; but that's the nature of the genre (or so I believe). It's certainly one of those 'switch your brain off' before watching sort of movies; but it's definitely not worth the negative criticism it's received in many of the reviews.
It has that spoof movie feel to it - admittedly, not on the same level or power as the likes of Airplane etc... but it's pretty watchable once you realise it is what it is.
Being a fan of the original Taken, and totally hating Taken 2 (like many others); I liked a few of the links relating to them in this movie. If anything, there was maybe a slight overuse of the key telephone conversation from the original, but there you have it.
All-in-all Tooken is worth a watch if you've some time to kill. Yes, it's littered with mistakes; no, it doesn't have huge dramatic effects; but I found it OK to watch - and still enjoyed it better than the original Taken 2.
Overall: 6.7/10.
Concussion (2015)
Enjoyed it.
Will Smith is most definitely the star of this show; and I strongly agree with other reviews that it could possibly be one of his best performances to date. I've always liked the majority of his movies; but it would seem he has entered into a completely new class, and brought a much deeper character out in the process.
Some reviews have said that the movie took quite a tame approach in the legal wrangling against the NFL. Considering it was agreed that the NFL could keep quiet about a lot of 'what they really knew'; this was always going to be both a sensitive & legally cautious movie to make. Personally, I think they did a great job with what they had (or were allowed) to work with. The message came through loud and clear.
I don't have a particular interest (or dislike) for American Football; I do however believe that mental health is a topic which should be widely learnt about, discussed, and brought to the forefront more in today's society.
Taking this into account - I thoroughly enjoyed the movie on many levels. You don't have to be a sports fan to appreciate the message of the movie; nor to appreciate just what a tremendous job Will Smith did in portraying Dr. Bennet Omalu. Highly recommended - 8.5/10
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Road to Despair.
I'm really hoping someone can enlighten me as to how this film scored over a 4.0, never mind 8.2. I found it repetitive, pointless and generally quite boring.
I was a fan of the original Mad Max movies in the 80s; but I have no idea what the writers and directors were trying to bring across with this 'Fury Road' instalment. I just wish they hadn't bothered.
I appreciate the ethos, genre and 'feel' of what the whole film is about; I just think it could have been done in 20-minutes, thus saving themselves a load of money - and the viewers from having to watch the same action scenes over and over again... not to mention a very shallow and weak storyline which just seemed to get lost anyway amidst the sand and OTT mayhem.
I'm not saying Mad Max Fury Road is a bad (like unwatchable) movie; I just found that after 20 minutes, any originality, storyline and excitement had vanished - to the point where I felt I was on my own road to despair.
With the amount of hype the film has created, no doubt it will certainly be watched; but having a score of 8.2 - oh please.
I'm giving this one a '4' - just... Never to be seen again.
Remember (2015)
Far from what I expected.
I began watching Remember with no great expectations; I thought I'd watch the first 20 minutes or so, and if it seemed promising, I'd come back to it at a later time perhaps.
You will already be aware of the plot/story-line from other reviews etc...; but for those who have not yet seen it, it has a beautiful way of drawing you in somehow. Beautifully written, yet powerful; I found I was becoming so immersed in the movie that there would be no 'coming back to it later'.
Casting and acting are excellent all-round, in what turned out to be perhaps one of the best films I've seen over the past 18 months or so.
There's very little else I can say regarding the film other than 'watch it'... it's excellent.
9/10
Convergence (2015)
Could have been so much better.
I watched this, basically as the idea (and some other reviews) intrigued me - not sure if it warranted such a low score; but I wouldn't have raised it by much (maybe a 5.0/5.5). The general idea behind it is pretty good, but would probably have made a better book than a film; and here lies the problem.
Not enough is left to the psychological imagination - everything is very 'full on' to the point I wasn't sure if I was watching an action, thriller, horror or sci-fi movie. You get a bit of everything thrown at you, and sadly it gets a bit tedious and confusing after a while.
The storyline could have been conveyed so much better without the 'hey ho' attitudes and rough and tumble action scenes - they just weren't needed. All these did for me was take me away from the essence of the movie until I completely lost track of what it was all about.
Movie takes an interesting turn towards the end - something which I would have liked to have seen incorporated earlier, as unfortunately I had started to lose interest by this stage.
Verdict: if you've absolutely nothing else to watch, give it a go. It's not a complete waste of time; but it will more than likely be easily forgotten. 5/10