Reviews

***Spoilers ahead, but who cares, right***

In general, this movie is ok, it is not terrible to watch. The protagonist is an interesting character, at least in the first part of the movie. He is trying some James-Bondesque moves at the beginning of the movie, and playing it all smooth and elegant spy (although you start to wonder how the transition from a SWAT officer to a costume-wearing, martini-sipping international spy happens so fast). The sidekick (played brilliantly by Robert Pattinson) is probably the best part of the movie. The action and special effects are superb. I didn't have a problem with the dialogue as I use subtitles anyway. The story was masked as extraordinarily complicated, in order to lure the viewers to believe they are watching something interesting and valuable and feel smart when they understand some of the sci-fi parts. Well, at some point you stop pretending that the sciency stuff makes any sense and start paying attention to the story. And then the problems of this movie come to the surface, as it is actually so shallow, that the muddy pseudoscientific nonsense can barely cover it. The female lead character was so incredibly dull, shallow, pathetic, full of cliches, and not making any sense in general, that I started to get angry every time she opens her mouth. With her appearance, she threw away 50 years of female character development and empowerment to the trash. She was so incredibly weak, inconsiderate, unintelligent, unable to grasp the information, presented to her, spending her time between crying, begging, laying, making stupid decisions, and doing the opposite of what she's been asked to. Almost as if the creator of the character was only aware of the female characters from 40 years ago, when the sole purpose of the women in movies was to wear dresses and scream while being saved. I am not even sure what was her purpose, except to become the reason for 2-3 action scenes. At some point, she was given a task - to mind her own business for an hour and to try not to kill her own husband. A task, that would decide the future of mankind. A task, which she failed, and then she was like "I just couldn't let him die in peace, I knew you would think of another way to save mankind. I just had to kill him". Well, bravo, so reasonable ... so brave! I don't think she even understood what were people trying to tell her, as there was one point when the Protagonist was explaining, that all people are going to die and she just sighted "including my son". Of course, including your son you, broken lightbulb! She was so Why was the protagonist risking the destruction of the whole freaking universe, just to help her, even if they weren't even romantically involved? The only way this whole thing would make sense would be if the son is actually Neil, which is not really profoundly clever and it's just an excuse for a sequel.

The villain - the Russian mob - he was just a cartoon of a character. His intentions were so unbelievably stupid. That reason to end the world made no sense. And to keep his wife as a hostage, using some painting ... how is that going to work?

In general, the creators of the movie spent so much time and effort to prepare the special effects, the sci-fi element, and the action scenes, that they probably realized they don't have a story and characters, and they just scrambled something in the last minute and poured it in the mix. The result is some half-baked movie that doesn't satisfy anyone's taste.

Read only if you have seen it (or don't want to see it). I watched this movie a week ago and thought about it so much, that I came back here to write a review. There were so many plot holes and nonsense, that I just had to write them down.

The big "twist" at the end was not a twist at all. It was not mindblowing, it didn't make any sense. It had nothing to do with the rest of the movie and it did not add anything to the story. It was just an insult to the viewers, probably made, because the finished version of the movie was so bad and the writers had to somehow mask their creative weakness. It got the readers confused and disappointed and for one second some people maybe thought "the movie was bad, but maybe I didn't get everything because of the twist" and then never think about that movie again. Probably the reviews, giving 10 stars to this movie because of the "twist" are bots with the level of intelligence of robot "No 1".

The guy is at the same time expert on robots (hardware) and artificial intelligence (software). He works alone, building super complicated things from scratch and doing research. Yet he looks confused and never repairs the security system in his remote house.

Repairing the security system didn't matter anyway, so why was even mentioned (and took half an hour from the movie)?

He builds one very simple version of a robot with AI, then a very good one, then one perfect/state of the art super amazing robot. He built a perfect robot using parts of the old robot, yet never bothered to put hands on the first version. Why?

He was acting like an a****ole to the second robot and looked surprised when the robot got upset. For most of the movie, he was either yelling at or ignoring the robot and making it clear that robot No 2 is unwanted, leaving the robot alone for long hours and then wondering why the robot freaked out. The character obviously never watched any horror movies.

Conviniently, his wife dies just when he accepts a project to build a robot with artificial intelligence and now he is super inspired.

None of the robots had GPS tags and were disappearing like crazy, running around, getting wet, and so on - no care for very expensive prototypes.

He was doing research, but completely ignored the No 2 robot, which was willing to learn and expressing feelings and complex emotions - a very interesting thing worth pursuing as research. As a researcher, he was taking zero notes. Yet, this is probably explained with the "twist", right.

He was obsessed with robot no 3 aka the wife, but acted weird around her and did not explain to her anything.

The guy that he met in the Japanese restaurant was only in the movie, so they could show some smoking. Obviously, Hollywood has a quota and has to show smoking people in every movie. No other reason.

The movie was not that boring, but it was unnecessarily long and dull. There were other things too, but I managed to take them out from my memories, pardon archives. 5/10.

I am still conflicted whether this was a really bad or a really good movie. The unique thing about this movie - the ugliest, most awkward, most pathetic, and painful to watch sex scene in the history of cinema! I wonder what thinking process led to the decision to create such movie. Actors on the other hand are brilliant - 100% believable and authentic representation of lowest class desperate losers, generally failing at life. There are actors, who just look good and play themselves in every movie - and then there is Stellan Skarsgard, who can play all kinds of characters with frightening accuracy. In this case he gives a brilliant performance of a slow and insecure ex-con, who just want to be left alone with his dinner.

Gerrald Durrell's Corfu trilogy is the most influencial book of my childhood, which helped me to refine my interests and pursue a conservation career . I must have read each book at least 15 times. As a young naturalist myself, I felt connected with the animal stories and I felt I am not alone in my passion. You can imagine, I did not care too much about the other characters. Just recently I re-read part of one book and I found it full with humor and cheesy stories, that I totaly missed out as a child. So now when I started watching the series I am delighted to find out more about the whole family and not just little Jerry. I love that the Mother is presented as a younger (than I imagined) and capable woman. I love the Margo character. And Lesley is looking just the way I imagined him. And it is really refreshing to give a bit of happiness and romance to the Mother (something that was not in the book). I think I am ready even to start reading Larry's books. For me the parts that are not true to the original are super interesting!

Those Washowski sisters must have a special talent - maybe they destroy everything they touch? This movie had such a great potential - a fresh idea about a generically modified alien race, that looks for identical genes in people anywhere in the universe. Thats ok. Effects - ok! Actors - decent. And then here we go: Story - barely existing, foggy and pathethic. Dialogues - laughable dull mess, written by a bot, who was forced to read all Paulo Cohelo books. Characters- they are as stereotipical as they come. Chaning Tatum with puppy ears rocks though. The whole thing was painful to watch - there wasn't too much story to follow and the actions of the characters did not make any sense.

Horrible movie, really. I think whoever wrote this should stop taking drugs and hormone pills - it ia obviously bad for your brain.

Please make a remake with a real story.

I watched this movie on a bus, so I had no choice. So, one kid in Texas (small town Cristian family) gets really sick and the mother does not know what to, takes it to the doctor. The doctors do not know what to do, so the family goes to a big city, where the big doctors see the problem and start treatment. But the kid being a kid falls into a hollow tree and after being rescued by firefighters gets miraculously healed by the holy spirit. The mother prays the whole time so it must be God who healed the kid. The whole movie is pathetic, the whole idea that this mother believes a god will miraculously heal her kid, but not the doctors, is so wrong. If you so much believe then why bother to take it to the doctor aniway! The main actress is not likable at all. The movie is this kind of movie your aunt would watch and use it as an argument that God is almighty. Really. Bad. Movie.

Whoever gave one star to this movie deserves to be banned from the IMDb website! Really, people? Really? I will tell you what is a one-star movie - a minute-long off-focus video of pooping bear. How is that compared with the spectacular, beautiful, wonderfully shot pleasure for the eyes, which the Valerian is? Why I loved the movie: First, it is absolutely beautiful! There are spectacular views, all the aliens are so thoughtfully represented and original. The scene on the Mull planet was also very beautiful. Then we have the main characters, which are fresh, cute and act decently. I must say Laureline is a much more adequate female character, compared with princess Leya or Padme. She is bad ass, smart, sexy and cynical - really a strong independent woman, without bragging about it. The story was not too original, but it was enough to keep me interested the whole time. It is based on a comics after all! 100% worth watching and needs a sequel!

This movie is so enjoyable to watch. First, we have the cavemen - which are I would say enough realistic with their primary behavior. Then we have a whole bunch of fluffy, colorful and pretty peculiar animals (and plants) always seeking to eat our characters. Then this handsome hunter-gatherer arrives and saves the day. The plot is very typical for an animated movie, but it is really enjoyable to watch and the humor is fresh. There are spectacular scenes of deserts, rain forests, flying turtles, coral reefs (no water in them though). Someone had lots of fun creating all those impossible animals. And there is adorable father- daughter jealousy when the young guy (Guy) arrives. It is just lovely!

This movie was really a strong comeback for Jack Sparrow and crew. It was way better than the previous one! I did not expect much after the one with the boring mermaid, but I was pleasantly surprised. The movie is fresh, fun and doesn't have a weak moment. I would watch it again and I do recommend it! I don't understand the people, who give it only one star, please don't do that, you probably don't know what a one-star movie is and it is not this one! It worth watching even for the spectacular effects and cascade scenes, but the story and the ending are also very strong.