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just_an_ambulance
Reviews
The Rise of the Krays (2015)
Grim
Some pretty shoddy acting and even worse 'hard man' acting.... I gave up less than half way through.
Just typing this to hit the minimum character requirement.
6 Underground (2019)
Standard
Standard Michael Bay.
Overacting. Low, wobbly in and out of focus shots that will make your head spin. Contrast and saturation dialled up.
Tedious at best.
Da 5 Bloods (2020)
Good god no
It's not filmed well enough to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be a comedy.
4 80 year olds meet up to blah blah blah, flash back to their 80 year old selves during the Vietnam war. Seriously. They didn't even dye their facial hair.
Crap cliches and a shambles of what could have been a solid film instead of a soggy cabbage
Bad Boys for Life (2020)
Same old nonsense really
Same old nonsense, explosions, shouting, and seemingly making the story up as they go along. Just worse this time. Tedious.
Watchmen (2019)
Eyerolls
There are some wonderful scenes in this, well acted, scripted and shot. Then it all gets undone with tedium. Sometimes its so overly self aware about exposition it makes a massive point about it... then does it anyway.
Flashbacks are heavy handed and overused as a way of reminding you a certain character feels a certain way, plot twists are drawn out over several episodes and ultimately feel underwhelming.
Then there are storylines that are just ridiculous that crop up and disappear almost at random, but I suppose to keep you interested.
It could have been so much better but its as if there was a big ideas for scenes session then they just connected them without much thought.
I'm a big fan of the film (I know thats controversial with some Watchmen fans but whatevs its all perosonal opinion anyway), and i was really looking forwards to this but ended up eye-rolling so much i nearly gave myself a headache
Entebbe (2018)
The dancing spoiled it
In an otherwise well thought out, acted and shot film, the transition to the dance sequence (which set up an emotional bond and metaphor etc etc) was a jarring and completely unnecessary tension breaker.
The Irishman (2019)
Im sad I watched it
Should have used other actors to start with and it just drags on and on. It doesn't flow very well at all, like, they had some ideas for scenes, and the order they should go in.... but no real build up / tension / link between.
And just randomly putting text up to tell us the person we only see in that one scene, for ten seconds, dies......????
It's not his best film by far. Just watch Casino or Goodfellas again and pretend this never happened
Mr. Mercedes (2017)
Drags on a bit
It starts off well enough, but throughout the series they fall into the trap of introducing new characters and dilemmas rather than focussing on a decent, concise and gripping series.
Ive not read the book so cant comment on similarities etc. But as a series, it falls into the tired old framework so many series go down, with more emphasis on keeping the story going and dragging it out, rather than making it well.
Got bored around episode 7.... shame really.
A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)
I feel bad for them
I just feel bad for all involved. Its the movie drawn out and tedious as hell.
The title music is sad and tells you what will happen in the episode, the narration is forced and seems like they are trying to convince themselves more than anyone else that its a dark and 'orrible story. If they had put more effort in the title music / song and narration wouldn't be needed.
Neils performance seems lazy. I know he has big shoes to fill after Jim Carrey.... but that aside.... seems lazy and half hearted.
I tried giving it a chance, but by the 4th episode and the 1000th time hearing how disturbing and miserable and sad it all is.... i gave up.
Shame really as I am a big fan of the film. Probably watch that instead and hope the show hasn't ruined it for me.
Passengers (2016)
Not what is says on the tin
The trailer makes it look like an accident brings them together because they have been woken to fix an problem that only they can fix, right?
Nope!!! CP is woken first, then he sees JL in a pod that makes his winky twitch so he wakes her up after stalking her profile on the ships records. He doesn't look for anyone, or a team of people, who may be able to fix his problem, he decides that he will pick this one person to wake up and die on the ship and never fulfill her dreams (the reason she is on the ship).
The fist bit of the film is nice enough, watching him deal with being alone... kind of a 'castaway in space' feel to it. But was better than what happened next.
Anyway, she finds out. Then they must not have thought of how to make her like him again so they wouldn't die on other ends of the ship, so they throw in a problem, wake up Morpheus, just to kill him when his use has been fulfilled and then they love each other again.
If it was what the trailer promised it could have been interesting, but it wasn't. it went from 'oohhh I wonder when her pod will pop and how will they meet', to, 'What a creep' and eyerolls pretty quick.
Savages (2012)
Just Awful
Its just bad. The cheesy voice overs are cringe worthy, the fact that two guys and one woman live together with strings free sex, the not caring when they get a video with people having their heads chopped off and the fact they clearly couldn't decide which ending to use so threw them both in.... I think I made a world record for eye rolls.
The acting is bad and so is the story.
Benicio and Selma are wasted in this film. Maybe they did is as a favour, I dunno...
Oh and why the films called savages and that they will live like savages link even though they move to Indonesia. Do they think people don't know Indonesia is a modern society??
I'm annoyed I watched this heap of fungus.