4/10
Strictly family fare
1 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Well, there've been worse versions of Edgar Rice Burroughs classic hero but Tarzan and the Lost City is certainly far from the best, whether you think that's Johnny Weissmuller or Ron Ely. This is a thoroughly wholesome and family-friendly version of the Lord of the Jungle, except for a disintegration at the end, and there's a decent amount of mostly G-rated action. There frankly haven't been a lot of great live-action versions of Tarzan since the TV show of the late 1960s, so this isn't a bad choice if you're looking to introduce your kids to the Ape Man and his lady love. Even if your children love it though, this is one of those movies they'll look back on as adults and say "Boy, that really wasn't that good, was it?"

Picking things up after the character's origins, Tarzan (Casper Van Dien) has been restored to his hereditary roots in the landed gentry of England and is about to marry Jane (Jane March) when a magical vision summons him back to Africa. A ruthless explorer, or at least as ruthless as you get in something suitable for the littlest viewers, is rampaging through the jungle in search of the lost city of Opar. Ravens (Steve Waddington) and his abnormally large band of mercenaries are plundering villages and poaching animals to make enough money for their expedition. Tarzan starts mucking up their plans and Jane quickly arrives to join him. But he also has to try and protect a friendly tribe led by a mysterious shaman (Winston Ntshona) and a headstrong warrior (Rapulana Seiphemo) from being mowed down by Ravens' 20th century firepower. They all wind up in Opar, which turns out to be a giant pyramid instead of a city, some magic stuff happens and everybody gets what they deserve in the end.

A Tarzan movie or TV show pretty much begins and ends with the quality of your Tarzan. On that score, I'm really not sure how to judge Casper Van Dien. That's mostly because his Tarzan spends most of this film running around Central Africa is what appears to be a fat guy's dress shirt and a pair of Capri pants. By the time Van Dien loincloths up, the story is essentially over except for a very, very extended chase scene. He has a noble countenance, is surely buff enough and seems comfortable with the more outlandish aspects of the character. But Van Dien is also a little young for Tarzan in this context and doesn't quite have the physical stature the role requires. A short Tarzan is a bit like a fat Sherlock Holmes. It just doesn't feel right. Van Dien is also trying to pull off an English accent here and it's one of those accents that is so bad, you wonder why they even bothered. I guess I'd call this a competent and relatively appealing Tarzan but not an exceptional one. Even if this is the first rendition of the Ape Man you encounter, you'll probably wind up preferring one of the others.

The star of the cast is probably Steve Waddington. He plays the bad guy as someone whose motives aren't necessarily evil but who is totally indifferent to the damage he does to the world and others in the pursuit of his goals. Jane March is a very English-looking beauty and plays her part with all the resolve and composure a proper gentlewoman of the early 1900s would possess. Rapulana Seiphemo as the intractable tribal warrior and Ian Roberts as a riverboat captain and friend of Tarzan also manage to inject a little flavor into their small roles.

The plot of this thing is okay and stuff mostly makes sense, except for the whole thing about why Ravens and his men getting to Opar would be such a bad thing. There's a line that references the discovery of the lost city bringing more rapacious whites to the Dark Continent to ravage its countryside, but when we get to Opar there's nothing there to justify that. And considering how much magic is used to zap the bad guys away at the end, it's also not clear why Tarzan and company ever needed to get involved.

As an inoffensive adventure tale for the whole family, Tarzan and the Lost City mostly works. However, that's the only level it succeeds on and with a Lord of the Jungle who's only average, I'd hate for this to be the only exposure someone has to Tarzan and his world. Given the paucity of great or even good live-action Tarzans in the last 40 years, this isn't terrible. It does really make me wish that late 60s TV series was out on DVD.
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