Breathe (I) (2024)
1/10
Stupid and boring.
13 April 2024
I'll watch a film with people of different ethnicities to mine, that's no big deal, it doesn't trigger me.

Boredom triggers me.

The ~bearable points - Common, Jennifer Hudson, Milla Jojovovich and Sam Worthington too... that's it, 4 BEARABLE points in amongst a stagnant pool of turds.

"Writer" Doug Simon is the person that needs singling out for specific criticism - in between eating the crayons they "wrote" this with Simon did a picture of a flower and his mummy told him it was "bad". In an angry reaction to this they did this egregious piece of hatred towards cinema.

The writers strike was partially poor writers taking action to highlight just what worthless entitled filth they are, powerless in the face of EVIL A. I. Nurses and Doctors worldwide shrugged in solidarity.

Thing is, I'm pretty sure A. I. was used in the making of this, some of the exterior shots (every single one that doesn't have an actor in) seem to just be A. I. art + an intern doing the Pan+Zoom edit.

Anyway, Simon might have heard of science, but didn't bother with an research beyond "having heard of science", nor any into writing, script writing and clearly has no discerning palette as they ate all the crayons regardless of flavour.

Like almost all of us at this point I've played round with A. I. and give me parity of paycheck and timeframe, I'll cook up a film better and less stupid than this using A. I. or not, I saw a film a couple of months ago that was written and directed by a guy with Down's Syndrome that was markedly better than this, "The Puppet Asylum" - more entertaining, competent, poignant and just all round better.

Literally, the only thing that would have made this film anywhere near enjoyable would have been Alec Baldwin Directing and a "production mishap" - preferably in the writers' room, which for this was probably the writers' bedroom at their parents house and Dad needs to have a word because you need to get a proper job and start paying rent.

I for one welcome the future unemployment of "writers" and our new A. I. overlords. Hollywood's burning, each new "blockbuster" seems to stall and audience's just don't care. Good.
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