Sun, May 17, 2009
When we last saw lovely Jillian, she had been jilted at the pseudo-altar by Jason. "The second that Jason didn't give me that last rose, I was devastated," she said. Will she ever recover? More time spent on national TV can only help.
Cut to Los Angeles, where Jillian jumps rope, lifts weight, eats hot dogs, washes her purple convertible and prances around in a bikini. "I'm ready to find love again," she proclaims. And a good thing, too -- because Chris steps out a McMansion to introduce a new season of "The Bachelorette." Turns out 25 lucky guys will have the chance to give Jillian a happy ending. Let's meet a few, shall we?
Kiptyn is a surfer -- a ripped surfer. "If I fall in love that would be the most amazing thing ever," he says. Then there's Michael, who break dances on the streets of New York. He DEFINITELY thinks Jillian is the gal for him. Julien, meanwhile, likes to jump out of planes and drive sports cars really, really fast. "Jillian and Julien together forever -- that sounds great," he quips. And clever too! Steve, an attorney, is a catch because he is an attorney. Juan works as an architect with his mother, who demands grandkids. "I think Jillian would make the perfect parent," Juan says.
Mark is an entrepreneur and pizza-shop owner. He also likes to wear Spandex and bike. Kyle, on the other hand, likes to dress in thrift-store clothes. "I make love good," he says. Sasha, who is "100-percent Serbian," is also an oil man who likes to roast pigs. Wes from Texas is a country singer and plays a tune to prove it. His nickname in Mexico: "the rooster." Jacob flies the friendly skies as a pilot. "It's my art," he claims. Jacob would also "absolutely die" to make Jillian's dreams come true.
The men jump in a limo and crack open the bubbly. Nothing like a car full of guys and flutes of champagne. Jillian, meanwhile, talks to Chris about her dating philosophy, which boils down to "you have to slay a few dragons to find your prince." She is also looking for "Mr. Invisible." Chris explains that this is because we don't know what he looks like yet. Thanks, Chris. The limo arrives and the guys take turns gushing over their potential future wife. David, on the other hand, is nothing short of awestruck, leading to much awkward silence. High-school coach Bryan one ups the field by literally sweeping Jillian off her feet. He puts her down and it's time to head inside.
The men "ooh" and "ahh" as Jillian enters. "As cliché as it sounds, please be yourself," she says. You're right. It does sound cliché. Cheers and clinking glasses later, Jillian says it's "surreal" to be on the other side of the competition. Jacob, meanwhile, is the first to take Jillian outside for a little one-on-one chatting. Turns out he is the "black sheep" of the family because he isn't a doctor. Soon, wine-maker Jesse arrives to steal Jillian away. He shows off an "aspiring Canadian" t-shirt under his suit (because Jillian is from up north, dontcha know). Only a few minutes into the party and the competition is ON.
Now it's Jillians turn to choose a conversationalist. She picks Kiptyn out of the crowd and drags his willing, chiseled frame poolside. "You surf?" she asks. "I took up surfing about three years ago." Clearly, the two have an instant connection. Kiptyn then explains that he is a ketchup-only guy (Jillian apparently defines men by the condiments they enjoy). Jillian finds this answer to be "cute."
Host Chris arrives carrying the all-important first-impression rose. Lawyer Steve declares that he wants it. Kyle observes that some of the men have already become a little "catty." Meow! He also plans to dazzle Jillian with his "wit," which means drawing a mustache on his finger and Jillian's finger so they can pretend to have facial hair. Dazzling, indeed. Mathue then takes a page out of coach Bryan's playbook and lifts Jillian up, carrying her to side of the pool.
But Wes it about to out-awkward them all. That's right, the country singer takes out his guitar and begins playing a soulful tune he wrote for his dear Jillian. "It's time to whoop some ass," he tells the camera. Uh huh. Yet Jillian claims to "love it." Not to be outdone, break-dance instructor Michael arrives to give our lovely heroine a lesson. She kicks off her heels and gets to work. Soon, the pair is laughing. It's the whitest love match ever! Before you can say "Oh ... my ... dear ... Lord," a dance-off breaks out between Michael and Greg. Greg claims to be the winner, but the other boys disagree. We don't an opinion.
Chris re-enters, but it's not time for the rose ceremony just yet. Instead, the host opens the door and -- wha!? -- five NEW hunks enter. "It won't just be the 25 of you," Chris explains. "There will be 30 bachelors." This twist, apparently, is a first for the show. Jillian can't believe it -- and neither can the men we've spent the last 75 minutes getting to know and love. "The competition was tough," Chris said. "It just got tougher." Well said, Chris. Well said.
Jillian meets with the new dudes. Reid, a realtor, notes that the Bachelorette is "hot." Financial analyst Tanner says Jillian is "awesome" and "such the marrying type." HOWEVER, he seems most concerned with the Bachelorette's feet. In fact, Tanner devises a plan to get Jillian's shoes off for a little toe dipping in the pool. "Got to have high arches -- that's the key," Tanner tells the camera. Luckily, Jillian's feet prove pretty and not mangled. Oookaaaaayyy.
Now it's finally time to hand out the first-impression rose. And who is the lucky man? None other than trucking contractor David. Why? "Sort of like a second shot at a first impression," Jillian explains. Says David: "That's awesome ... Stick it on me." And so she does. The boys are going to be soooo jealous.
Killjoy Chris interrupts the party again. Time for the rose ceremony. "You guys totally exceeded my expectations," Jillian says. Having said that, it's time to give 10 expectation-exceeding men the boot. Jillian heads to the deliberation room to relive fond memories of the last 90 minutes and stare at framed photos of the beaus. After much contemplation, she is ready to hand out floral arrangements.
Nineteen flowers to hand out. Let's get started. Rose getters include: Jacob, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian, Sasha, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F. and, finally, Juan. That's it. The rest of the boys are heading home. They don't even have to pack their bags. The departing men "take a moment to say goodbye," per Chris's suggestion. John P. is shocked, noting that Jillian seemed like his "soul mate." High-hairline Steve "did not see that coming ... maybe she doesn't like awesome guys." Maybe.
We close the first episode with Jillian toasting to her remaining men. Until next week.
Cut to Los Angeles, where Jillian jumps rope, lifts weight, eats hot dogs, washes her purple convertible and prances around in a bikini. "I'm ready to find love again," she proclaims. And a good thing, too -- because Chris steps out a McMansion to introduce a new season of "The Bachelorette." Turns out 25 lucky guys will have the chance to give Jillian a happy ending. Let's meet a few, shall we?
Kiptyn is a surfer -- a ripped surfer. "If I fall in love that would be the most amazing thing ever," he says. Then there's Michael, who break dances on the streets of New York. He DEFINITELY thinks Jillian is the gal for him. Julien, meanwhile, likes to jump out of planes and drive sports cars really, really fast. "Jillian and Julien together forever -- that sounds great," he quips. And clever too! Steve, an attorney, is a catch because he is an attorney. Juan works as an architect with his mother, who demands grandkids. "I think Jillian would make the perfect parent," Juan says.
Mark is an entrepreneur and pizza-shop owner. He also likes to wear Spandex and bike. Kyle, on the other hand, likes to dress in thrift-store clothes. "I make love good," he says. Sasha, who is "100-percent Serbian," is also an oil man who likes to roast pigs. Wes from Texas is a country singer and plays a tune to prove it. His nickname in Mexico: "the rooster." Jacob flies the friendly skies as a pilot. "It's my art," he claims. Jacob would also "absolutely die" to make Jillian's dreams come true.
The men jump in a limo and crack open the bubbly. Nothing like a car full of guys and flutes of champagne. Jillian, meanwhile, talks to Chris about her dating philosophy, which boils down to "you have to slay a few dragons to find your prince." She is also looking for "Mr. Invisible." Chris explains that this is because we don't know what he looks like yet. Thanks, Chris. The limo arrives and the guys take turns gushing over their potential future wife. David, on the other hand, is nothing short of awestruck, leading to much awkward silence. High-school coach Bryan one ups the field by literally sweeping Jillian off her feet. He puts her down and it's time to head inside.
The men "ooh" and "ahh" as Jillian enters. "As cliché as it sounds, please be yourself," she says. You're right. It does sound cliché. Cheers and clinking glasses later, Jillian says it's "surreal" to be on the other side of the competition. Jacob, meanwhile, is the first to take Jillian outside for a little one-on-one chatting. Turns out he is the "black sheep" of the family because he isn't a doctor. Soon, wine-maker Jesse arrives to steal Jillian away. He shows off an "aspiring Canadian" t-shirt under his suit (because Jillian is from up north, dontcha know). Only a few minutes into the party and the competition is ON.
Now it's Jillians turn to choose a conversationalist. She picks Kiptyn out of the crowd and drags his willing, chiseled frame poolside. "You surf?" she asks. "I took up surfing about three years ago." Clearly, the two have an instant connection. Kiptyn then explains that he is a ketchup-only guy (Jillian apparently defines men by the condiments they enjoy). Jillian finds this answer to be "cute."
Host Chris arrives carrying the all-important first-impression rose. Lawyer Steve declares that he wants it. Kyle observes that some of the men have already become a little "catty." Meow! He also plans to dazzle Jillian with his "wit," which means drawing a mustache on his finger and Jillian's finger so they can pretend to have facial hair. Dazzling, indeed. Mathue then takes a page out of coach Bryan's playbook and lifts Jillian up, carrying her to side of the pool.
But Wes it about to out-awkward them all. That's right, the country singer takes out his guitar and begins playing a soulful tune he wrote for his dear Jillian. "It's time to whoop some ass," he tells the camera. Uh huh. Yet Jillian claims to "love it." Not to be outdone, break-dance instructor Michael arrives to give our lovely heroine a lesson. She kicks off her heels and gets to work. Soon, the pair is laughing. It's the whitest love match ever! Before you can say "Oh ... my ... dear ... Lord," a dance-off breaks out between Michael and Greg. Greg claims to be the winner, but the other boys disagree. We don't an opinion.
Chris re-enters, but it's not time for the rose ceremony just yet. Instead, the host opens the door and -- wha!? -- five NEW hunks enter. "It won't just be the 25 of you," Chris explains. "There will be 30 bachelors." This twist, apparently, is a first for the show. Jillian can't believe it -- and neither can the men we've spent the last 75 minutes getting to know and love. "The competition was tough," Chris said. "It just got tougher." Well said, Chris. Well said.
Jillian meets with the new dudes. Reid, a realtor, notes that the Bachelorette is "hot." Financial analyst Tanner says Jillian is "awesome" and "such the marrying type." HOWEVER, he seems most concerned with the Bachelorette's feet. In fact, Tanner devises a plan to get Jillian's shoes off for a little toe dipping in the pool. "Got to have high arches -- that's the key," Tanner tells the camera. Luckily, Jillian's feet prove pretty and not mangled. Oookaaaaayyy.
Now it's finally time to hand out the first-impression rose. And who is the lucky man? None other than trucking contractor David. Why? "Sort of like a second shot at a first impression," Jillian explains. Says David: "That's awesome ... Stick it on me." And so she does. The boys are going to be soooo jealous.
Killjoy Chris interrupts the party again. Time for the rose ceremony. "You guys totally exceeded my expectations," Jillian says. Having said that, it's time to give 10 expectation-exceeding men the boot. Jillian heads to the deliberation room to relive fond memories of the last 90 minutes and stare at framed photos of the beaus. After much contemplation, she is ready to hand out floral arrangements.
Nineteen flowers to hand out. Let's get started. Rose getters include: Jacob, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert, Ed, Reid, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian, Sasha, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F. and, finally, Juan. That's it. The rest of the boys are heading home. They don't even have to pack their bags. The departing men "take a moment to say goodbye," per Chris's suggestion. John P. is shocked, noting that Jillian seemed like his "soul mate." High-hairline Steve "did not see that coming ... maybe she doesn't like awesome guys." Maybe.
We close the first episode with Jillian toasting to her remaining men. Until next week.
Sun, May 24, 2009
We open outside the mansion with Jillian drinking orange juice and relaxing poolside. She talks of the 20 hunks living in a dorm nearby and thanks her lucky stars. She's not a "skinny blonde, big-boob model," the bachelorette explains. Chris, meanwhile, hangs with his bros at the guest house. He drops the first date card. Michael, Bryan, Fred, Sacha, Tanner P., Wes, Ed and Mathu will be heading out on the first group date.
The dudes walk to mansion to find Jillian sunbathing next to a rose. "I want both of those things immediately," Michael says. Creepy. The pool party begins, prompting most of the men to take off their shirts. Jillian and Michael head up to the bachelorette's bedroom. He tells her that she smells really good. She finds this "sexy." The rest of the boys worry that Michael is getting the rose. But Jillian has other plans. She gets in a car and drives off! "She just left?" an incredulous Michael asks. Sorry, bud.
Chris arrives. "Jillian took off and she took the rose with her," he explains. "The race for Jillian's heart is on. It's up to you to find her." Only one member of the winning team will spend the evening with Jillian, however. The teams race to the driveway to find Mini Coopers lined up in a row alongside buckets of keys. The boys try to find the correct key to unlock a box that contains the key to start the cars (it's complicated), but eventually give up and just break the boxes. And they're off!
Tanner P. and Michael find a map and get really, really excited. Eventually, the rest of the teams discover their maps. Wes, who is working with Brad, finds his partner annoying. "Oil and water," country-boy Wes explains. Jillian, meanwhile, has stopped by a jewelry store to choose some necklaces. A cell phone starts ringing in each car. It's Jillian! "Hey boys, how are you doing?!" Jillian asks. "It's all part of my master plan!" Once again, Tanner P. and Michael (shirtless, by the way) get waaaay too excited. "I peed a little bit in my bathing suit," Michael confesses. Gross.
Eventually, Ed and Kyle see a rose flag outside of a restaurant. They head inside and start putting on tuxedos. Other boys arrive, put on tuxes, and roam the restaurant looking for clues. Brad finds a note instructing the boys to look for Neal (the jeweler). Brian and Kyle find the jewelry store first and choose one of four necklaces. The other teams eventually follow and pick their necklaces too.
The search ends inside a bank vault where Jillian waits near a table for two. "I'm so nervous right now," she says with a giggle. Wes and Brad are the first to arrive. They present Jillian with her necklace. "One of you is going to have dinner with me in the vault," the bachelorette explains. But who? "This is the part I don't like," she says. "I'm going to have dinner with Wes tonight. Is that OK?" It's OK with Wes. Brad, on the other hand, isn't happy. "I won the race," he says. "This is complete #$%&!."
Jillian takes her country bumpkin to dinner. She seems smitten when Wes promises to complete his country song for her. We can't wait. Back at the guest house, another date card arrives. Jake has been chosen for one-on-one time with Jillian. He is so happy that he does a little dance. Back in the vault, Wes explains that he has had "three girlfriends in my whole life." Jillian still worries that his musician lifestyle might lead to trouble. "I feel like I have to protect myself just a little bit," she says. Nonetheless, they kiss and she gives him the rose. So Wes moves into the mansion for the night while the rest of the crew heads back to the lowly guest house. Brad, master of the city map, is especially upset.
The next day, Jake is "stoked" to be going on a date with Jillian. The two head to a country-western store. "I like country music, so we're going to get you to match me," Jillian explains. So poor Jake is forced to put on a series of awful cowboy shirts and cowboy hats. "He is FINE," Jillian gushes. Afterwards, they head to the House of Blues in Los Angeles. The bar is deserted, so Jillian does a "coyote ugly thing" and dances on the bar. "You do have nice legs," Jake comments. The pair continues to dance and giggle. "She could quite possibly be my soul mate," Jake tells the camera. He then plants a "wet one" on Jillian in the middle of her sentence. For some reason, she is utterly charmed.
Suddenly, the stage doors open and a band appears. It's Martina McBride! "This is insane," Jillian squeals. "She is a country-music legend!" Jillian and Jake dance for awhile before Jillian presents her beau with a rose. "You're going to make me cry," Jake says. They continue to slow dance the night away while McBride sings. It's the perfect end to the perfect nationally-televised romantic evening.
The next day, Jillian prepares for her second group date. The boys, in the meantime, get catty. "He's lacking a little testosterone," Tanner P. says of Juan. MEE-OWW! The date turns out to be a play date at a basketball court. "Shirts off boys!" Jillian says. "It's like every girls dream right now." The game begins. Each man attempts to show off their skills. Even Juan hits a shot or two. Simon, the English soccer coach, is admittedly terrible. A few air balls adequately demonstrate the point.
Jillian leaves for a few moments to bring out some of her "friends." Those friends turn out to be the Harlem Globetrotters. "They're good and we're a bunch of white guys who played on an 8 ½ foot rim at the house for a few days," David says. Good point. The big game begins and it's predictably embarrassing. Jillian ends up hanging from the rim, only to be saved by Juan. "If I was going to hit someone, it would definitely be Juan," David tells the camera. Okaaaaay. Mike, in the meantime, decides to make an impression by donning a Speedo and diving into the ocean. "That was frickin' awesome!" Jillian gushes. Okaaaaay.
Later, the group does shots of tequila -- except for Juan, who dumps his liquor. "I can't respect things like that," David says. "He's a clown." David then suggests tying Juan to a tree. "It's man code," he says. Is it us, or is this guy getting kind of scary? Jillian, meanwhile, chooses Juan for one-on-one time. "Your eyes are, like, so green," Juan gushes. "They're piercing." The pair kisses. Kiptyn is next on the private couch. Turns out he's normally the "heartbreaker, not the heartbreakee." The pair kisses. Rose time. Jillian gives the flower to Speedo Mike. The pair hugs. Probably not what Mike wanted, but he'll take it.
Later that night, all 20 dudes arrive for the second cocktail party. Tanner P. quickly notices that Jillian is wearing open-toe shoes. "As we all know by now, I've got the foot fetish," he admits. Understandably, Jillian is a little freaked out. She then takes Jesse aside to find out a little bit more about the stud. "Before this, I had another opportunity to go and live in Italy," the wine maker says. "But as soon as I found you were going to be the next Bachelorette, I was in." She is charmed by the sacrifice.
Bartender Robby makes Jillian his special drink, the "Rosmo" ("half Robby, half Cosmo"). But poor Robby barely has time to take a sip before Wes interrupts. "You're cheating on me already?" Wes jokes. The rest of the boys don't like the fact that Wes is being so aggressive when he already has a rose. "It seems like he came on the show to promote his music," Reid snipes.
Chris arrives. "I do have a little surprise for you," he explains. "This is a ballot box. You're each going to vote for the one man you want sent home tonight." Mike, Jake and Wes, who have already received roses, will be excluded from the vote. "I'm curious to see who they're going to pick and who I have to pay special attention to," Jillian tells the camera. But before the voting can be completed, Brian decides to be the "center of the attention" by stripping down naked and jumping into the pool. "It was like a bad car accident," Jesse says. More importantly, though, what does Jillian think? We're not entirely sure, but she does hug the exhibitionist.
Sometime later, Chris arrives with the votes. Julien receives the third most votes. David receives the second most votes. The gentleman with the most votes is Juan. "Juan, as of right now, you are going home," Chris says. "But, ultimately, this is about what Jillian wants." In other words, Jillian can save Juan by giving him a rose. So, basically, the vote means nothing. Jillian confirms as much by giving Juan the first rose.
Others receiving a flower: Jesse, David, Ed, Sasha, Mark, Michael, Tanner P., Kiptyn, Reid, Robby, Tanner F. and Brad. And that's it. Julien, Brian (saying he was "hung like a light switch due to the cold weather"), Simon and Mathue say goodbye. So very sad.
The dudes walk to mansion to find Jillian sunbathing next to a rose. "I want both of those things immediately," Michael says. Creepy. The pool party begins, prompting most of the men to take off their shirts. Jillian and Michael head up to the bachelorette's bedroom. He tells her that she smells really good. She finds this "sexy." The rest of the boys worry that Michael is getting the rose. But Jillian has other plans. She gets in a car and drives off! "She just left?" an incredulous Michael asks. Sorry, bud.
Chris arrives. "Jillian took off and she took the rose with her," he explains. "The race for Jillian's heart is on. It's up to you to find her." Only one member of the winning team will spend the evening with Jillian, however. The teams race to the driveway to find Mini Coopers lined up in a row alongside buckets of keys. The boys try to find the correct key to unlock a box that contains the key to start the cars (it's complicated), but eventually give up and just break the boxes. And they're off!
Tanner P. and Michael find a map and get really, really excited. Eventually, the rest of the teams discover their maps. Wes, who is working with Brad, finds his partner annoying. "Oil and water," country-boy Wes explains. Jillian, meanwhile, has stopped by a jewelry store to choose some necklaces. A cell phone starts ringing in each car. It's Jillian! "Hey boys, how are you doing?!" Jillian asks. "It's all part of my master plan!" Once again, Tanner P. and Michael (shirtless, by the way) get waaaay too excited. "I peed a little bit in my bathing suit," Michael confesses. Gross.
Eventually, Ed and Kyle see a rose flag outside of a restaurant. They head inside and start putting on tuxedos. Other boys arrive, put on tuxes, and roam the restaurant looking for clues. Brad finds a note instructing the boys to look for Neal (the jeweler). Brian and Kyle find the jewelry store first and choose one of four necklaces. The other teams eventually follow and pick their necklaces too.
The search ends inside a bank vault where Jillian waits near a table for two. "I'm so nervous right now," she says with a giggle. Wes and Brad are the first to arrive. They present Jillian with her necklace. "One of you is going to have dinner with me in the vault," the bachelorette explains. But who? "This is the part I don't like," she says. "I'm going to have dinner with Wes tonight. Is that OK?" It's OK with Wes. Brad, on the other hand, isn't happy. "I won the race," he says. "This is complete #$%&!."
Jillian takes her country bumpkin to dinner. She seems smitten when Wes promises to complete his country song for her. We can't wait. Back at the guest house, another date card arrives. Jake has been chosen for one-on-one time with Jillian. He is so happy that he does a little dance. Back in the vault, Wes explains that he has had "three girlfriends in my whole life." Jillian still worries that his musician lifestyle might lead to trouble. "I feel like I have to protect myself just a little bit," she says. Nonetheless, they kiss and she gives him the rose. So Wes moves into the mansion for the night while the rest of the crew heads back to the lowly guest house. Brad, master of the city map, is especially upset.
The next day, Jake is "stoked" to be going on a date with Jillian. The two head to a country-western store. "I like country music, so we're going to get you to match me," Jillian explains. So poor Jake is forced to put on a series of awful cowboy shirts and cowboy hats. "He is FINE," Jillian gushes. Afterwards, they head to the House of Blues in Los Angeles. The bar is deserted, so Jillian does a "coyote ugly thing" and dances on the bar. "You do have nice legs," Jake comments. The pair continues to dance and giggle. "She could quite possibly be my soul mate," Jake tells the camera. He then plants a "wet one" on Jillian in the middle of her sentence. For some reason, she is utterly charmed.
Suddenly, the stage doors open and a band appears. It's Martina McBride! "This is insane," Jillian squeals. "She is a country-music legend!" Jillian and Jake dance for awhile before Jillian presents her beau with a rose. "You're going to make me cry," Jake says. They continue to slow dance the night away while McBride sings. It's the perfect end to the perfect nationally-televised romantic evening.
The next day, Jillian prepares for her second group date. The boys, in the meantime, get catty. "He's lacking a little testosterone," Tanner P. says of Juan. MEE-OWW! The date turns out to be a play date at a basketball court. "Shirts off boys!" Jillian says. "It's like every girls dream right now." The game begins. Each man attempts to show off their skills. Even Juan hits a shot or two. Simon, the English soccer coach, is admittedly terrible. A few air balls adequately demonstrate the point.
Jillian leaves for a few moments to bring out some of her "friends." Those friends turn out to be the Harlem Globetrotters. "They're good and we're a bunch of white guys who played on an 8 ½ foot rim at the house for a few days," David says. Good point. The big game begins and it's predictably embarrassing. Jillian ends up hanging from the rim, only to be saved by Juan. "If I was going to hit someone, it would definitely be Juan," David tells the camera. Okaaaaay. Mike, in the meantime, decides to make an impression by donning a Speedo and diving into the ocean. "That was frickin' awesome!" Jillian gushes. Okaaaaay.
Later, the group does shots of tequila -- except for Juan, who dumps his liquor. "I can't respect things like that," David says. "He's a clown." David then suggests tying Juan to a tree. "It's man code," he says. Is it us, or is this guy getting kind of scary? Jillian, meanwhile, chooses Juan for one-on-one time. "Your eyes are, like, so green," Juan gushes. "They're piercing." The pair kisses. Kiptyn is next on the private couch. Turns out he's normally the "heartbreaker, not the heartbreakee." The pair kisses. Rose time. Jillian gives the flower to Speedo Mike. The pair hugs. Probably not what Mike wanted, but he'll take it.
Later that night, all 20 dudes arrive for the second cocktail party. Tanner P. quickly notices that Jillian is wearing open-toe shoes. "As we all know by now, I've got the foot fetish," he admits. Understandably, Jillian is a little freaked out. She then takes Jesse aside to find out a little bit more about the stud. "Before this, I had another opportunity to go and live in Italy," the wine maker says. "But as soon as I found you were going to be the next Bachelorette, I was in." She is charmed by the sacrifice.
Bartender Robby makes Jillian his special drink, the "Rosmo" ("half Robby, half Cosmo"). But poor Robby barely has time to take a sip before Wes interrupts. "You're cheating on me already?" Wes jokes. The rest of the boys don't like the fact that Wes is being so aggressive when he already has a rose. "It seems like he came on the show to promote his music," Reid snipes.
Chris arrives. "I do have a little surprise for you," he explains. "This is a ballot box. You're each going to vote for the one man you want sent home tonight." Mike, Jake and Wes, who have already received roses, will be excluded from the vote. "I'm curious to see who they're going to pick and who I have to pay special attention to," Jillian tells the camera. But before the voting can be completed, Brian decides to be the "center of the attention" by stripping down naked and jumping into the pool. "It was like a bad car accident," Jesse says. More importantly, though, what does Jillian think? We're not entirely sure, but she does hug the exhibitionist.
Sometime later, Chris arrives with the votes. Julien receives the third most votes. David receives the second most votes. The gentleman with the most votes is Juan. "Juan, as of right now, you are going home," Chris says. "But, ultimately, this is about what Jillian wants." In other words, Jillian can save Juan by giving him a rose. So, basically, the vote means nothing. Jillian confirms as much by giving Juan the first rose.
Others receiving a flower: Jesse, David, Ed, Sasha, Mark, Michael, Tanner P., Kiptyn, Reid, Robby, Tanner F. and Brad. And that's it. Julien, Brian (saying he was "hung like a light switch due to the cold weather"), Simon and Mathue say goodbye. So very sad.
Sun, May 31, 2009
Previously on "The Bachelorette:" A dude got naked; a few more dudes drove around Los Angeles looking for Jillian; country-boy Wes got a kiss, as did pilot Jake; David got really angry at Juan; and then the Bachelorette sent a whole bunch of suitors home, including naked guy. "Hung like a light switch," indeed.
Now on "The Bachelorette:" Chris hangs with his bros in the bunk house, explaining the rules that they (and we) already know. "On the individual dates, if you do not get a rose, you go home immediately," he says. The first date card reveals that technology consultant Ed will be going on a one-on-one date. He arrives at a helicopter to discover a squealing Jillian. They hop in the chopper and take off for an "exhilarating" ride. "Big, strong, bulky, hunky Ed," Jillian gushes.
The helicopter lands on the top of a building and we discover that the pair will be repelling 33 stories to the ground. "It was scary as hell," Ed tells the camera. Nevertheless, the dude soon finds himself dangling far above the street, slowly making his way down alongside his babe, who keeps repeating, "This is soooo awesome!" One dip in the pool later, the two are canoodling -- and swapping spit. "He's an extremely sexy guy," Jillian says. "I have a major crush on him."
But the date isn't over yet. One wardrobe change later, Jillian and her crush are eating dinner atop a hotel. "I love that I popped your helicopter cherry," she says. Ed responds by explaining that he loves karaoke. He is also very focused on work. "Sometimes I let (work) take over," Ed says. "I want to be very stable and secure when I have a family." That's enough sweet talk for our bachelorette, who moves in for another open-mouthed kiss. Jillian then gives our stud a rose.
Back at the house, we discover who will be heading out on the first group date: Reid, Wes, Mike, Michael, Tanner F., Brad, Mark, Robby, Tanner P. Kiptyn and Juan. Only four dudes will not be going on the group date, including angry David. "I don't want to be on a date with 11 guys and her," David says. "Especially if one of them is Juan."
Date time. The football team plus cheerleader soon arrive on an Old West movie set. Turns out our bachelors will be actors for the day. "I love Westerns and today I want to see how these guys react to being thrown out of their comfort zones," Jillian explains. The script, in the meantime, calls for two of the men to recall "Brokeback Mountain." Michael is "going to be a gay dude in a scene with another gay dude." Mark, too.
Shooting begins on scenes that strangely and somewhat disturbingly resemble porn plotlines. Brad is the first to plant one on our gal Jillian. "You've got badass and super badass, but I'm ultra badass," he says. Others aren't so impressed. "It's like he was kissing his sister," Tanner P. snorts. Robby claims that his kissing scene with Jillian rated a "50" on a scale of 1 to 10. Wes gets tired of watching his cowgirl get so familiar with the other cowpokes and steals her away. "Today is about acting," says Jillian, who worries that Wes is a little too possessive.
It's soon time for the big gay scene. "I'll kiss for a rose, that's about it, Michael says. The director calls action and the two studs play Ennis and Jack, but stop short of kissing. Instead, they give each other a big, manly hug. "I was so proud of them," Jillian says. "I definitely didn't want to see them kiss, though."
Later, the boys and girl gather for dinner and drinks. Reid gets a little one-on-one time, but is soon interrupted by Juan. Turns out Juan is feeling insecure about the men's dislike for him especially David. Speaking of, David is back at the guest house blowing a gasket. "I'd kill him," David says of Juan. "Because I hate him." Sheesh. A date card arrives: Sasha will be going on the next individual rendezvous. David isn't happy. Still.
Back on the group date, everyone has adjourned to the hot tub. "Her feet looked so good that I wanted to put them in my mouth," Tanner P. says. Oddly, Jillian doesn't seem disgusted, or at all weirded-out by the financial analyst's fetish. One make-out session with Robby later, Jillian decides to give the rose to Robby. Then they all watch the "movie" that they spent the day shooting. "I felt like the leading lady," Jillian tells the camera. "Now I just need to find my leading man."
Could it be Sasha? He's busy preparing to go on his big solo date. "I'm super pumped about it," says Sasha, who compares himself to a "wolf" among "sheep." The wolf and his prey head to a car museum. "I LOVE cars," Jillian says. "I LOVE anything with a motor." Jillian then hops atop the vintage autos so that Sasha can take sexy pictures (is this "Rock of Love" or something?). Photo shoot ended, Jillian and Sasha get into a Ferrari and go for a joyride. No word on whether this date popped Sasha's Ferrari cherry, though. The two then eat dinner while Sasha explains how he got in a nasty car wreck at age 18. The story makes Jillian "want to cry."
Speaking of wanting to cry, the conversation continues. Sasha reveals that he has confessed love for three girls in his life -- two of whom were in high school (to be fair, Sasha was in high school at the time, too). "I feel like I'm searching for this mythical unicorn," he says. Jillian tells the camera that she worries mightily that Sasha has never really been in love. "I wish I could be that unicorn that he's looking for, but I'm not," she says. Translation: no rose for Sasha, who boards a bus to go home. Jillian is CRUSHED. "This is probably the hardest date that I've ever had," she says. Sasha, meanwhile, is "surprised" and "hurt."
Back at the guest house, Wes "entertains" the fellas by playing the guitar and singing. Some yawn. Some complain about hearing the same song over and over. Some wonder if Wes is here "for the right reasons." As if to prove them wrong (or right), Wes waits until everyone is asleep, grabs his guitar and then serenades Jillian with his "finished" country song. "You are sooooo sweet," Jillian gushes. "You made me cry."
Rose ceremony time. Ed feels like the process is "heating up." Robby thinks it's getting "real." David and Reid both feel like they need to get some quality one-on-one time. Reid is first. "I think you're somebody that I'm super interested in," she says. "No worries, mate." The two make out. David is next on the secluded couch. "I'm jealous of the other guys," he tells Jillian. "I'm kind of used to being the top dog." As if on cue, Juan interrupts and steals the bachelorette away. David is apoplectic. Still. "I can't let it go," he growls. "I have zero respect for Juan." We know, David.
Tanner P. is up next. He worries that he isn't as flashy as Wes. He's just a regular guy ... who happens to adore feet. "I'm here to suck on some toes," he explains. "I totally want to make a connection with her feet." So Jillian puts her bare feet on his lap. "I want to kiss em, suck em, rub em," Tanner P. tells the camera. C-R-E-E-P-Y. Amazingly, Jillian says she is starting to "feel more comfortable" with the oddball.
David, meanwhile, is freaking out. He finds Juan "unacceptable" for Jillian. Brad tries to talk his buddy down -- and then calls his buddy the "scariest guy in the house" to Jillian. David berates the other men for not telling the bachelorette that Juan is a jerk. At that moment, Juan walks outside. "Juan, go back inside!" David says. At that moment, Juan walks back inside. It's not worth the "drama," gentle Juan tells the camera.
Kiptyn then gets some couch time with Jillian, explaining that he has never been dumped before. Jillian worries about this confession, but admits that she gets "butterflies" when she is with the surfer/ business developer. They make out. Back to the David-Juan drama. This time, Juan refuses to stay inside. "You faked a shot with us!" David says. "Stop being a cheese ass!" Having spoken his mind (again), David storms inside. "I'd kill him," he tells the camera. "I would like to beat the (EXPLETIVE) out of him." David then says he wishes that Jillian could have seen the exchange so she would know what kind of man he is and what kind of man Juan is. You sure about that, dude?
After a heart-to-heart with Chris, Jillian spends some quality time with framed photos of the beaus. Alas, staring at cheese-ass pictures can only fill so much time. Jillian walks back into the living room to give away some flowers. Ed and Robby are already safe. Other rose earners include: Jake, Reid, Mark, Jesse, Tanner P., Wes, Juan, Michael, Kiptyn, Mike and finally David. Goodbye Brad and Tanner F. We hardly knew ye. "My character in that movie was a drifter and I plan on being a drifter," Brad pouts. See ya next week (not you Brad or Tanner F.).
Now on "The Bachelorette:" Chris hangs with his bros in the bunk house, explaining the rules that they (and we) already know. "On the individual dates, if you do not get a rose, you go home immediately," he says. The first date card reveals that technology consultant Ed will be going on a one-on-one date. He arrives at a helicopter to discover a squealing Jillian. They hop in the chopper and take off for an "exhilarating" ride. "Big, strong, bulky, hunky Ed," Jillian gushes.
The helicopter lands on the top of a building and we discover that the pair will be repelling 33 stories to the ground. "It was scary as hell," Ed tells the camera. Nevertheless, the dude soon finds himself dangling far above the street, slowly making his way down alongside his babe, who keeps repeating, "This is soooo awesome!" One dip in the pool later, the two are canoodling -- and swapping spit. "He's an extremely sexy guy," Jillian says. "I have a major crush on him."
But the date isn't over yet. One wardrobe change later, Jillian and her crush are eating dinner atop a hotel. "I love that I popped your helicopter cherry," she says. Ed responds by explaining that he loves karaoke. He is also very focused on work. "Sometimes I let (work) take over," Ed says. "I want to be very stable and secure when I have a family." That's enough sweet talk for our bachelorette, who moves in for another open-mouthed kiss. Jillian then gives our stud a rose.
Back at the house, we discover who will be heading out on the first group date: Reid, Wes, Mike, Michael, Tanner F., Brad, Mark, Robby, Tanner P. Kiptyn and Juan. Only four dudes will not be going on the group date, including angry David. "I don't want to be on a date with 11 guys and her," David says. "Especially if one of them is Juan."
Date time. The football team plus cheerleader soon arrive on an Old West movie set. Turns out our bachelors will be actors for the day. "I love Westerns and today I want to see how these guys react to being thrown out of their comfort zones," Jillian explains. The script, in the meantime, calls for two of the men to recall "Brokeback Mountain." Michael is "going to be a gay dude in a scene with another gay dude." Mark, too.
Shooting begins on scenes that strangely and somewhat disturbingly resemble porn plotlines. Brad is the first to plant one on our gal Jillian. "You've got badass and super badass, but I'm ultra badass," he says. Others aren't so impressed. "It's like he was kissing his sister," Tanner P. snorts. Robby claims that his kissing scene with Jillian rated a "50" on a scale of 1 to 10. Wes gets tired of watching his cowgirl get so familiar with the other cowpokes and steals her away. "Today is about acting," says Jillian, who worries that Wes is a little too possessive.
It's soon time for the big gay scene. "I'll kiss for a rose, that's about it, Michael says. The director calls action and the two studs play Ennis and Jack, but stop short of kissing. Instead, they give each other a big, manly hug. "I was so proud of them," Jillian says. "I definitely didn't want to see them kiss, though."
Later, the boys and girl gather for dinner and drinks. Reid gets a little one-on-one time, but is soon interrupted by Juan. Turns out Juan is feeling insecure about the men's dislike for him especially David. Speaking of, David is back at the guest house blowing a gasket. "I'd kill him," David says of Juan. "Because I hate him." Sheesh. A date card arrives: Sasha will be going on the next individual rendezvous. David isn't happy. Still.
Back on the group date, everyone has adjourned to the hot tub. "Her feet looked so good that I wanted to put them in my mouth," Tanner P. says. Oddly, Jillian doesn't seem disgusted, or at all weirded-out by the financial analyst's fetish. One make-out session with Robby later, Jillian decides to give the rose to Robby. Then they all watch the "movie" that they spent the day shooting. "I felt like the leading lady," Jillian tells the camera. "Now I just need to find my leading man."
Could it be Sasha? He's busy preparing to go on his big solo date. "I'm super pumped about it," says Sasha, who compares himself to a "wolf" among "sheep." The wolf and his prey head to a car museum. "I LOVE cars," Jillian says. "I LOVE anything with a motor." Jillian then hops atop the vintage autos so that Sasha can take sexy pictures (is this "Rock of Love" or something?). Photo shoot ended, Jillian and Sasha get into a Ferrari and go for a joyride. No word on whether this date popped Sasha's Ferrari cherry, though. The two then eat dinner while Sasha explains how he got in a nasty car wreck at age 18. The story makes Jillian "want to cry."
Speaking of wanting to cry, the conversation continues. Sasha reveals that he has confessed love for three girls in his life -- two of whom were in high school (to be fair, Sasha was in high school at the time, too). "I feel like I'm searching for this mythical unicorn," he says. Jillian tells the camera that she worries mightily that Sasha has never really been in love. "I wish I could be that unicorn that he's looking for, but I'm not," she says. Translation: no rose for Sasha, who boards a bus to go home. Jillian is CRUSHED. "This is probably the hardest date that I've ever had," she says. Sasha, meanwhile, is "surprised" and "hurt."
Back at the guest house, Wes "entertains" the fellas by playing the guitar and singing. Some yawn. Some complain about hearing the same song over and over. Some wonder if Wes is here "for the right reasons." As if to prove them wrong (or right), Wes waits until everyone is asleep, grabs his guitar and then serenades Jillian with his "finished" country song. "You are sooooo sweet," Jillian gushes. "You made me cry."
Rose ceremony time. Ed feels like the process is "heating up." Robby thinks it's getting "real." David and Reid both feel like they need to get some quality one-on-one time. Reid is first. "I think you're somebody that I'm super interested in," she says. "No worries, mate." The two make out. David is next on the secluded couch. "I'm jealous of the other guys," he tells Jillian. "I'm kind of used to being the top dog." As if on cue, Juan interrupts and steals the bachelorette away. David is apoplectic. Still. "I can't let it go," he growls. "I have zero respect for Juan." We know, David.
Tanner P. is up next. He worries that he isn't as flashy as Wes. He's just a regular guy ... who happens to adore feet. "I'm here to suck on some toes," he explains. "I totally want to make a connection with her feet." So Jillian puts her bare feet on his lap. "I want to kiss em, suck em, rub em," Tanner P. tells the camera. C-R-E-E-P-Y. Amazingly, Jillian says she is starting to "feel more comfortable" with the oddball.
David, meanwhile, is freaking out. He finds Juan "unacceptable" for Jillian. Brad tries to talk his buddy down -- and then calls his buddy the "scariest guy in the house" to Jillian. David berates the other men for not telling the bachelorette that Juan is a jerk. At that moment, Juan walks outside. "Juan, go back inside!" David says. At that moment, Juan walks back inside. It's not worth the "drama," gentle Juan tells the camera.
Kiptyn then gets some couch time with Jillian, explaining that he has never been dumped before. Jillian worries about this confession, but admits that she gets "butterflies" when she is with the surfer/ business developer. They make out. Back to the David-Juan drama. This time, Juan refuses to stay inside. "You faked a shot with us!" David says. "Stop being a cheese ass!" Having spoken his mind (again), David storms inside. "I'd kill him," he tells the camera. "I would like to beat the (EXPLETIVE) out of him." David then says he wishes that Jillian could have seen the exchange so she would know what kind of man he is and what kind of man Juan is. You sure about that, dude?
After a heart-to-heart with Chris, Jillian spends some quality time with framed photos of the beaus. Alas, staring at cheese-ass pictures can only fill so much time. Jillian walks back into the living room to give away some flowers. Ed and Robby are already safe. Other rose earners include: Jake, Reid, Mark, Jesse, Tanner P., Wes, Juan, Michael, Kiptyn, Mike and finally David. Goodbye Brad and Tanner F. We hardly knew ye. "My character in that movie was a drifter and I plan on being a drifter," Brad pouts. See ya next week (not you Brad or Tanner F.).
Sun, Jun 14, 2009
Last week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian took the boys back to Canada. Angry David failed to seduce his woman (embarrassingly so). Mark got a rose and Tanner revealed that some of the dudes have girlfriends, although no one would admit to it. In the end, mortal enemies David and Juan were sent packing.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian is still fretting over the rumor that some of the beaus have GFs back home. "I find myself second guessing myself," she explains to the camera. Meanwhile, the men are nervous too. "Now that we're down to the final 10, it's a lot less people," Jesse helpfully explains. "Things are getting real now."
The boys gather around a table in beautiful, snowy Whistler to open the first date card. Break dance instructor Michael will get his first one-on-one date. He has been invited to "come fly" with Jillian. Michael is so excited, one suspects he might perform a totally dope spin move. "Everything is about to change," he promises.
One excruciatingly long commercial break later, Jillian and Michael take to the hills where they discover a zip-line course over a gorge. "Oh my awesomeness," Michael says (as if channeling Bret Michaels). Jillian goes first and somehow manages to survive, which greatly impresses her date. "Zip lining is directly related to love," Michael pontificates. "You commit to it and you jump." For her part, Jillian says that Michael makes her feel 19 again. One tandem jump later, Michael notices a "spark of awesomeness in the relationship." Nineteen, indeed.
One terribly awkward (but not to them) conversation about life goals later, the pair sit down for a champagne tasting. Jillian wants to see a "serious side" to Michael, who responds by explaining that he is a "cheesy ass" romantic. Next, Jillian has some tough questions. For example, why did Michael come on the show? He explains that he hasn't been on a date in eight months after a bad break up and this opportunity to find a girlfriend on national television felt like "fate." Jillian rewards his answer with a rose. They hug. Lame.
Back at the hotel, the boys discover the second date card. Wes, Robby, Kiptyn, Tanner, Ed, Jake, Reid and Ed will be heading out on the next group date -- meaning Jesse gets the next one-one-one rendezvous. "I'm pumped," Jesse tells the camera. The boys then theorize on who might have a girlfriend. Could it be aspiring country star Wes? Tanner certainly seems to think so. Does our favorite foot-worshipper know something?
The next morning, Jillian meets the boys outside in front of a row of snow mobiles. She chooses Robby to ride with her. "I had a choice to hold onto the handlebars or her waist," Robby tells the camera. Guess which one he chose? "This is every Canadian girls dream," Jillian says. Really? Later, Jillian and Robby spend some quality alone time together. Is the 25-year-old party boy ready for a commitment? He says yes. They hug. Lame.
Next up for a one-one-one atop the snow mobile is Tanner. Jillian asks which guy has a girlfriend. Tanner stutters and sputters, but doesn't answer directly. "I'm not here to make enemies, so I'm just going to leave it up to Jillian," he says. Still, he tells the camera that Jillian should be very wary of country-singer Wes. Speaking of, Wes and Jillian relax in the snow for a bit. Wes manages to mention that he has a new CD coming out -- but insists that he was working on said CD long before coming on the show. The two make out. Whistler just got a little less frigid.
But not all is hugs and kisses and snow mobiles. Jillian is still worried that some of the men are "here for the wrong reasons." Kiptyn notices that something is bothering Jillian. "We can see that you're visibly upset," he explains. Gushes Jillian: "I like you! Do you like me?!" Turns out Kiptyn is just so darn cute that our bachelorette can't even "process what he's saying." They make out. Awesomeness.
One horribly awkward conversation between Jillian and Reid later, Ed and Jillian cuddle by the fire. But something is clearly wrong. Ed is distant. He explains that his boss back home has given him an "ultimatum." So now Ed must choose between work and love. Jillian doesn't make the choice any easier by giving a rose to the technology consultant. "Whatever you decide, I will completely understand," she says. The two hug it out.
The following afternoon, Jesse arrives for his big one-one-one date. Turns out Jillian has planned a day of hanging out on a glacier. "I didn't even know that this was possible that you could land a plane on a glacier," Jesse tells the camera. On The Bachelorette, ANYTHING is possible, my friend. The pair arrives on the block of ice and commences frolicking in the snow. Jesse explains that the experience is even better than the time he got a Tonka truck for Xmas. Oddly, Jillian appears touched. They make out.
Later, the couple leaves the glacier to enjoy drinks by the fire. Jesse explains that he wants to run a wine bar and have kids by the age of 35. Jillian would also like to have kids in the next three or four years. No pressure, dude. Jesse then tells Jillian that she has a "sweet, sexy, raspy voice" that he could "fall asleep" listening to. "It's arousing," he tells the camera. Speaking of, the happy faux couple head to the hot tub where Jillian gives Jesse a rose. They celebrate with a heavy, heavy make-out session. "I'm glowing," Jesse says.
It's almost rose-ceremony time, but Ed has a decision to make first. "I don't want to have the conversation with her, but I know that I need to," he tells the camera. Turns out Ed had decided to leave and save his job. "This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done," he says. Jillian immediately begins to cry. "I really, really, really liked you," she weeps. "But I'm glad were figuring this out now." Adios, Ed. We hardly knew ya. After Ed leaves, Jillian continues to cry and be sad. She walks alone on a snowy mountain, symbolizing her inner struggle (or something). "Am I good enough for somebody to sacrifice that?" she asks no one in particular. And no one answers. Luckily, there's still nine more dudes back at the hotel. Perhaps she'll get over it soon.
But Jillian is STILL crying when Chris arrives to start the rose ceremony. "Were you falling in love with Ed?" he asks. Says Jillian: "I can definitely say he's someone I was falling for big time." Chris, who asked the question in the first place, says that he figured as much from the tears. Jillian and Chris then dish about the dudes for a bit.
Rose ceremony time. Chris explains that Michael and Jesse are already safe (thanks, Chris). The six roses go to: Reid, Kiptyn, Robby, Jake, Tanner and Wes. Mark is thunderstruck. "I've been cheated on four times, which is a lot," he tells the camera. Hence, he has "barriers" that take a little more time to be broken down. Jillian didn't have that time, though, so Mark departs.
Until next week, America.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian is still fretting over the rumor that some of the beaus have GFs back home. "I find myself second guessing myself," she explains to the camera. Meanwhile, the men are nervous too. "Now that we're down to the final 10, it's a lot less people," Jesse helpfully explains. "Things are getting real now."
The boys gather around a table in beautiful, snowy Whistler to open the first date card. Break dance instructor Michael will get his first one-on-one date. He has been invited to "come fly" with Jillian. Michael is so excited, one suspects he might perform a totally dope spin move. "Everything is about to change," he promises.
One excruciatingly long commercial break later, Jillian and Michael take to the hills where they discover a zip-line course over a gorge. "Oh my awesomeness," Michael says (as if channeling Bret Michaels). Jillian goes first and somehow manages to survive, which greatly impresses her date. "Zip lining is directly related to love," Michael pontificates. "You commit to it and you jump." For her part, Jillian says that Michael makes her feel 19 again. One tandem jump later, Michael notices a "spark of awesomeness in the relationship." Nineteen, indeed.
One terribly awkward (but not to them) conversation about life goals later, the pair sit down for a champagne tasting. Jillian wants to see a "serious side" to Michael, who responds by explaining that he is a "cheesy ass" romantic. Next, Jillian has some tough questions. For example, why did Michael come on the show? He explains that he hasn't been on a date in eight months after a bad break up and this opportunity to find a girlfriend on national television felt like "fate." Jillian rewards his answer with a rose. They hug. Lame.
Back at the hotel, the boys discover the second date card. Wes, Robby, Kiptyn, Tanner, Ed, Jake, Reid and Ed will be heading out on the next group date -- meaning Jesse gets the next one-one-one rendezvous. "I'm pumped," Jesse tells the camera. The boys then theorize on who might have a girlfriend. Could it be aspiring country star Wes? Tanner certainly seems to think so. Does our favorite foot-worshipper know something?
The next morning, Jillian meets the boys outside in front of a row of snow mobiles. She chooses Robby to ride with her. "I had a choice to hold onto the handlebars or her waist," Robby tells the camera. Guess which one he chose? "This is every Canadian girls dream," Jillian says. Really? Later, Jillian and Robby spend some quality alone time together. Is the 25-year-old party boy ready for a commitment? He says yes. They hug. Lame.
Next up for a one-one-one atop the snow mobile is Tanner. Jillian asks which guy has a girlfriend. Tanner stutters and sputters, but doesn't answer directly. "I'm not here to make enemies, so I'm just going to leave it up to Jillian," he says. Still, he tells the camera that Jillian should be very wary of country-singer Wes. Speaking of, Wes and Jillian relax in the snow for a bit. Wes manages to mention that he has a new CD coming out -- but insists that he was working on said CD long before coming on the show. The two make out. Whistler just got a little less frigid.
But not all is hugs and kisses and snow mobiles. Jillian is still worried that some of the men are "here for the wrong reasons." Kiptyn notices that something is bothering Jillian. "We can see that you're visibly upset," he explains. Gushes Jillian: "I like you! Do you like me?!" Turns out Kiptyn is just so darn cute that our bachelorette can't even "process what he's saying." They make out. Awesomeness.
One horribly awkward conversation between Jillian and Reid later, Ed and Jillian cuddle by the fire. But something is clearly wrong. Ed is distant. He explains that his boss back home has given him an "ultimatum." So now Ed must choose between work and love. Jillian doesn't make the choice any easier by giving a rose to the technology consultant. "Whatever you decide, I will completely understand," she says. The two hug it out.
The following afternoon, Jesse arrives for his big one-one-one date. Turns out Jillian has planned a day of hanging out on a glacier. "I didn't even know that this was possible that you could land a plane on a glacier," Jesse tells the camera. On The Bachelorette, ANYTHING is possible, my friend. The pair arrives on the block of ice and commences frolicking in the snow. Jesse explains that the experience is even better than the time he got a Tonka truck for Xmas. Oddly, Jillian appears touched. They make out.
Later, the couple leaves the glacier to enjoy drinks by the fire. Jesse explains that he wants to run a wine bar and have kids by the age of 35. Jillian would also like to have kids in the next three or four years. No pressure, dude. Jesse then tells Jillian that she has a "sweet, sexy, raspy voice" that he could "fall asleep" listening to. "It's arousing," he tells the camera. Speaking of, the happy faux couple head to the hot tub where Jillian gives Jesse a rose. They celebrate with a heavy, heavy make-out session. "I'm glowing," Jesse says.
It's almost rose-ceremony time, but Ed has a decision to make first. "I don't want to have the conversation with her, but I know that I need to," he tells the camera. Turns out Ed had decided to leave and save his job. "This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done," he says. Jillian immediately begins to cry. "I really, really, really liked you," she weeps. "But I'm glad were figuring this out now." Adios, Ed. We hardly knew ya. After Ed leaves, Jillian continues to cry and be sad. She walks alone on a snowy mountain, symbolizing her inner struggle (or something). "Am I good enough for somebody to sacrifice that?" she asks no one in particular. And no one answers. Luckily, there's still nine more dudes back at the hotel. Perhaps she'll get over it soon.
But Jillian is STILL crying when Chris arrives to start the rose ceremony. "Were you falling in love with Ed?" he asks. Says Jillian: "I can definitely say he's someone I was falling for big time." Chris, who asked the question in the first place, says that he figured as much from the tears. Jillian and Chris then dish about the dudes for a bit.
Rose ceremony time. Chris explains that Michael and Jesse are already safe (thanks, Chris). The six roses go to: Reid, Kiptyn, Robby, Jake, Tanner and Wes. Mark is thunderstruck. "I've been cheated on four times, which is a lot," he tells the camera. Hence, he has "barriers" that take a little more time to be broken down. Jillian didn't have that time, though, so Mark departs.
Until next week, America.
Sun, Jun 21, 2009
We begin with Chris outlining tonight's structure for the remaining eight studs: One group date and two individual dates, with roses up for grabs at each. The five guys who get roses this week will have the opportunity to take Jillian to their hometown on the following show. This week everybody will be taking a private train ride across British Columbia.
Jillian realizes "how serious this is" and tells us she needs to focus on the guys who mean something to her. Despite the beauty of the Canadian scenery she admits to still missing Ed.
Bartender Robby gets the first individual date. He begins by (gasp!) making her a drink. She likes that he is "footloose and fancy-free." Robby tells us he thinks he is "on the right track" and America collectively groans. We hear that he is "between jobs" and that it has been a few years since he's been in a relationship.
After a break Jillian takes Robby to her room. They cuddle and he admits to being nervous. The guys in the back are confident Robby will get a rose. Following that, Robby chokes mightily when Jillian asks about his professional future. The train slows and Jillian tells Robby he is still a few years away from being marriage material. She walks Robby off the train and they leave him behind. One bachelor mutters that "this has gotten real," and break dance instructor Michael cries.
Since Wes makes Jillian "feel safe," she has him back to her room for a hug and snuggle. His tender words to her are spliced with an interview where he admits being there only to help his music career, adding: "I will always have Jillian wrapped around my little finger."
The next day Jillian goes snow shoe walking with everybody but realtor Reid, who will be getting a one-on-one date later. During the trip off the train commercial pilot Jake snuggles with Jillian under a tree. While alone on the train Reid elicits date advice from several members of the train staff.
Jillian and the six remaining non-Reid bachelors walk to a cabin for cocktails. She pulls Jake away for some alone time and apologizes for their not having had more time together. He responds by comparing her to his mother. Just as Jake is about to say something meaningful to Jillian the rest of the guys break it up. Jake thinks Jillian "needs" to see his hometown and family.
Kiptyn pulls Jillian away and explains his convoluted philosophy on being interested in women. He quickly moves in and the two make-out for a few moments. When the group is back together Michael asks Jillian what she wears when she sleeps. For some reason this prompts Tanner to show-off his tighty whities. Despite the size of Tanner's package ("huge," according to both Jillian and Tanner), Jillian isn't sure she wanted to see it yet. They have a one-on-one and Tanner immediately goes for the feet.
During Jesse's alone time he tells Jillian that he struggles in the group setting. After he tells her he's sure his parents would fall in love with her they make out for awhile. Jillian tells us there was a "special spark" between them.
Jillian and Michael sit by the fire and he tells her how great he thinks they are together. She tells us she's concerned both by his age and not yet having found a physical connection. During this, Tanner confesses to the rest of the guys that he was the one involved in the girlfriend rumors. This only seems to bother Wes, who eventually tells them he's already gotten what he wanted out of the show. In the hot tub Jillian gives a rose to Kiptyn.
The following day Jake confesses to Jillian that he is crazy about her and that he feels "everything is lining up." She thanks him and says he's doing a good job of showing her his feelings. Uh-oh.
Next up is Reid's snowboarding solo date. Claiming to be a great skier, Reid falls all over the place on the board. Reid and Jillian have drinks near ice sculptures on a mountain. Reid tells her he wants to be in love and have a "normal, happy family some day." He tells several terrible jokes and they kiss a little. They go to a hotel where Jillian plans to "figure out where Reid fits into my life." Reid is concerned about health risks associated with the fondue but Jillian doesn't seem bothered by his neurosis. Jillian says she feels different with Reid than with any other guy and gives him a rose. Making out ensues.
The train reaches its final destination and Chris takes Jillian away for a convo. She fills him in about Wes consoling her after the Robby dumping and adds she is confident Wes is being honest about his intentions. She says Jake is a little too perfect. She is worried Tanner is more concerned with the other guys than with her. Michael is on the fence for her. She assures Chris that her husband is still in the group.
With Robby gone and Reid and Kiptyn both holding roses, the final three roses will go to one of the five remaining bachelors. After telling the guys she cares about all of them and is struggling big-time with the weight of her decision, Jillian says she has a few questions to ask. She takes Michael to another room where he swears he is ready for a family.
Jillian brings Michael back and quickly gives Jesse a rose. The second rose goes to Wes, leaving Michael, Tanner and Jake (who is about to cry) remaining. After the obligatory delay Jillian gives the final rose to Michael.
Tanner smirks at Jillian before silently departing abruptly. "I do not understand her decision whatsoever," he tells us. "it's f***ed up but what can I do?" Jake asks Jillian what was wrong but doesn't get much of an answer. "If she chooses the wrong guy she's going to have such an uphill climb," he says in the interview. "Nice guys finish last. It's the story of my life."
Jillian realizes "how serious this is" and tells us she needs to focus on the guys who mean something to her. Despite the beauty of the Canadian scenery she admits to still missing Ed.
Bartender Robby gets the first individual date. He begins by (gasp!) making her a drink. She likes that he is "footloose and fancy-free." Robby tells us he thinks he is "on the right track" and America collectively groans. We hear that he is "between jobs" and that it has been a few years since he's been in a relationship.
After a break Jillian takes Robby to her room. They cuddle and he admits to being nervous. The guys in the back are confident Robby will get a rose. Following that, Robby chokes mightily when Jillian asks about his professional future. The train slows and Jillian tells Robby he is still a few years away from being marriage material. She walks Robby off the train and they leave him behind. One bachelor mutters that "this has gotten real," and break dance instructor Michael cries.
Since Wes makes Jillian "feel safe," she has him back to her room for a hug and snuggle. His tender words to her are spliced with an interview where he admits being there only to help his music career, adding: "I will always have Jillian wrapped around my little finger."
The next day Jillian goes snow shoe walking with everybody but realtor Reid, who will be getting a one-on-one date later. During the trip off the train commercial pilot Jake snuggles with Jillian under a tree. While alone on the train Reid elicits date advice from several members of the train staff.
Jillian and the six remaining non-Reid bachelors walk to a cabin for cocktails. She pulls Jake away for some alone time and apologizes for their not having had more time together. He responds by comparing her to his mother. Just as Jake is about to say something meaningful to Jillian the rest of the guys break it up. Jake thinks Jillian "needs" to see his hometown and family.
Kiptyn pulls Jillian away and explains his convoluted philosophy on being interested in women. He quickly moves in and the two make-out for a few moments. When the group is back together Michael asks Jillian what she wears when she sleeps. For some reason this prompts Tanner to show-off his tighty whities. Despite the size of Tanner's package ("huge," according to both Jillian and Tanner), Jillian isn't sure she wanted to see it yet. They have a one-on-one and Tanner immediately goes for the feet.
During Jesse's alone time he tells Jillian that he struggles in the group setting. After he tells her he's sure his parents would fall in love with her they make out for awhile. Jillian tells us there was a "special spark" between them.
Jillian and Michael sit by the fire and he tells her how great he thinks they are together. She tells us she's concerned both by his age and not yet having found a physical connection. During this, Tanner confesses to the rest of the guys that he was the one involved in the girlfriend rumors. This only seems to bother Wes, who eventually tells them he's already gotten what he wanted out of the show. In the hot tub Jillian gives a rose to Kiptyn.
The following day Jake confesses to Jillian that he is crazy about her and that he feels "everything is lining up." She thanks him and says he's doing a good job of showing her his feelings. Uh-oh.
Next up is Reid's snowboarding solo date. Claiming to be a great skier, Reid falls all over the place on the board. Reid and Jillian have drinks near ice sculptures on a mountain. Reid tells her he wants to be in love and have a "normal, happy family some day." He tells several terrible jokes and they kiss a little. They go to a hotel where Jillian plans to "figure out where Reid fits into my life." Reid is concerned about health risks associated with the fondue but Jillian doesn't seem bothered by his neurosis. Jillian says she feels different with Reid than with any other guy and gives him a rose. Making out ensues.
The train reaches its final destination and Chris takes Jillian away for a convo. She fills him in about Wes consoling her after the Robby dumping and adds she is confident Wes is being honest about his intentions. She says Jake is a little too perfect. She is worried Tanner is more concerned with the other guys than with her. Michael is on the fence for her. She assures Chris that her husband is still in the group.
With Robby gone and Reid and Kiptyn both holding roses, the final three roses will go to one of the five remaining bachelors. After telling the guys she cares about all of them and is struggling big-time with the weight of her decision, Jillian says she has a few questions to ask. She takes Michael to another room where he swears he is ready for a family.
Jillian brings Michael back and quickly gives Jesse a rose. The second rose goes to Wes, leaving Michael, Tanner and Jake (who is about to cry) remaining. After the obligatory delay Jillian gives the final rose to Michael.
Tanner smirks at Jillian before silently departing abruptly. "I do not understand her decision whatsoever," he tells us. "it's f***ed up but what can I do?" Jake asks Jillian what was wrong but doesn't get much of an answer. "If she chooses the wrong guy she's going to have such an uphill climb," he says in the interview. "Nice guys finish last. It's the story of my life."
Sun, Jun 28, 2009
Last week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian took the boys on a cross-country trip through the Canadian wilderness. Wes admitted that he "got what he wanted" from the show in terms of publicity, but received a rose anyway. Tanner and Jake, meanwhile, went bye-bye.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian struts down the streets of Alberta. "It's overwhelming that I have five guys that I care about," she says. Nevertheless, she is super excited to visit the men's families. First, we head to Philly, where Jillian literally squeals at the sight of tousle-haired Reid. "Things are getting serious now," he tells the camera. After a quick tour of the city, Reid and Jillian -- a.k.a. Reij -- head to a palatial suburban home to meet the rents. Mom wastes little time: "We're thinking Reid is going to get married someday and have kids ... but, whatever!" Thanks, mom. Overall, though, the visit goes well. "Everyone loved her!" Reid exclaims. They make out.
Next up is a visit to Michael's hometown of Valencia, California. Our dancing bachelor is excited to see his "lady" -- so much so that he practically prances into his family's house. Mom, dad and identical twin brother Steve scream when they see their son. Michael explains to the fam that he "almost fainted" when he saw Jillian in pajamas because she was "so beautiful." Yikes. Suddenly, Jillian enters and the entire family goes nuts -- again. Mom distracts Jillian and Michael and Steve head upstairs to change clothes. It's the ol' twin switcheroo! Will Jillian notice? Yes. Right away. Way to go, guys. A few awkward conversations later, Jillian declares the night a success. "He does have depth," she says. They make out.
Now it's on to Encinitas, California -- home of super hot Kiptyn. Jillian tells the camera that she feels something for Kiptyn that she "wasn't sure existed before." Interesting. The bachelorette soon meets the surfer's mom, stepdad, sister and more. Mom puts Jillian to the test with a lasagna and wine contest. Oh, the pressure! "I'm nervous!" Jillian squeals. Turns out Jillian picks the best of each and passes. Thank goodness. They head inside to the dining room for more lasagna. "Get her pregnant," sister jokes. Yikes. A few awkward conversations later, the family decides they like Kiptyn's luvah. "I could definitely see Jillian as my daughter in law," mom tells the camera. Later, they get in the hot tub and make out (Jillian and Kiptyn, not Jillian and mom).
Fast forward to Carmel, California, where Jillian squeals upon seeing wine-maker Jesse at his wine-making family estate. "Oh my God, it's beautiful out here!" she gushes. The pair go on a romantic tractor ride before meeting dad, mom and goateed brother Jacob. The Hungarian clan toasts their visitor and has some wine. "You love this chick?" goateed bro asks. Jesse says yes and then explains that he wants kids sooner rather than later. "Unbelievable," goateed bro says. No kidding, dude. The family then rocks out in a horribly awkward scene featuring a guitar, drums and a dancing, gyrating mother (Jillian on tambourine). Later, Jesse promises to "move forward" with Jillian. They have some wine and make out. Another successful visit.
Next on the itinerary: A trip to Austin, Texas to meet the people responsible for creepy crooner Wes. "I think he gets me almost the most of any of the guys here," Jillian says. She squeals upon seeing her Texan beau (shocker). But before Jillian can meet Wes's real family, she has to meet Wes's band, naturally. "We got a brand new CD coming out," Wes says. "I want people to hear it ... that's the ultimate goal." Oddly, Jillian doesn't seem to notice this blatant self promotion. Instead, she says her heart beats "a mile a minute" while watching Wes play. They make out. But wait! We cut to pilot Jake, who is checking into some non-descript hotel room. "I need to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend," Jake says in the most somber of tones. He calls Wes "disingenuine." Later, Jake knocks on Jillian's hotel-room door. "I'm not here to get you back," Jake says. "Wes has a girlfriend." Jillian is CRUSHED. She begins to cry. Jake is "so sorry." They don't make out.
Confrontation time. Wes arrives in Jillian's hotel room. She asks one final time if Wes has anything to reveal. "I hate that you ask me this," Wes says. "I feel like I've told you my intentions." Jillian reveals that Jake spilled the beans about the girlfriend. "That's crazy," Wes says. "I had a girlfriend, but we broke up and she's one of my best friends to this very day ... the fact that Jake would say that is crazy!" Is it, Wes? Is it really? Naturally, Jillian calls Jake, who races down to the room. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't tell me on multiple occasions that you're in a relationship?" Jake asks. Wes insists that Jake is lying. "Obviously, you're trying to ruin my character and my integrity as a man," the would-be country singer says. Obviously. Nobody makes out, but Jake weeps harder and longer than Jillian.
Back in the hotel room, Wes suggests that the pair skip the family visit. "I don't want to put you though anything else," he says. Jillian begins to cry. HARD. "I really want to meet your family and I really want to see what we have," she cries. "But that means if you're the guy in the end, you're the guy in the end." Wes agrees. So they head out to meet mom, stepmom and three sisters. Jillian, meanwhile, thinks its fair to explain why they were late. So she does. Wes's sisters are SHOCKED. Just SHOCKED. "Guys are always going to be jealous of what he has and what he has going for him," an indignant sister says. In other words: Wesley is AWESOME. Mom also stands up for her boy. "He has a very sensitive heart," mom tells Jillian. "He's a one-woman guy." That's enough for Jillian, apparently. She officially believes Wes. They make out.
Jillian and the camera crew return to L.A. Just when you think there can't possibly be any more surprises, guess who knocks on door? It's Ed! "I realized that I made a huge mistake," he tells Jillian. "I think I need to be here with you. I think I need another shot." Jillian is FLOORED. And guess what? She gives Ed another chance. He will attend the rose ceremony that evening. Pushover, thy name is the Bachelorette.
Jillian and host Chris then have their requisite time-killing conversation, replete with many words and precious little (to zero) new information. How did Jillian feel when Ed walked back through her door? "I wanted to die," Jillian says. Die? Really, Jillian? "Tonight was going to be tough," Chris says. "Now with Ed back, it's going to be incredibly tough." Well said, Chris. Well said, indeed. Jillian stares at framed photos and then steals herself to hand out flora. Roses go to the following contenders: Reid, Kiptyn, Ed and Wes. Jesse and Michael are OUT. Jesse hugs Jillian and then leaves without saying a world. Michael, on the other hand, flat-out comforts Jillian on his way out. "I can not say a bad thing about the girl," Michael says. Then he cries. On camera.
Until next week, America.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian struts down the streets of Alberta. "It's overwhelming that I have five guys that I care about," she says. Nevertheless, she is super excited to visit the men's families. First, we head to Philly, where Jillian literally squeals at the sight of tousle-haired Reid. "Things are getting serious now," he tells the camera. After a quick tour of the city, Reid and Jillian -- a.k.a. Reij -- head to a palatial suburban home to meet the rents. Mom wastes little time: "We're thinking Reid is going to get married someday and have kids ... but, whatever!" Thanks, mom. Overall, though, the visit goes well. "Everyone loved her!" Reid exclaims. They make out.
Next up is a visit to Michael's hometown of Valencia, California. Our dancing bachelor is excited to see his "lady" -- so much so that he practically prances into his family's house. Mom, dad and identical twin brother Steve scream when they see their son. Michael explains to the fam that he "almost fainted" when he saw Jillian in pajamas because she was "so beautiful." Yikes. Suddenly, Jillian enters and the entire family goes nuts -- again. Mom distracts Jillian and Michael and Steve head upstairs to change clothes. It's the ol' twin switcheroo! Will Jillian notice? Yes. Right away. Way to go, guys. A few awkward conversations later, Jillian declares the night a success. "He does have depth," she says. They make out.
Now it's on to Encinitas, California -- home of super hot Kiptyn. Jillian tells the camera that she feels something for Kiptyn that she "wasn't sure existed before." Interesting. The bachelorette soon meets the surfer's mom, stepdad, sister and more. Mom puts Jillian to the test with a lasagna and wine contest. Oh, the pressure! "I'm nervous!" Jillian squeals. Turns out Jillian picks the best of each and passes. Thank goodness. They head inside to the dining room for more lasagna. "Get her pregnant," sister jokes. Yikes. A few awkward conversations later, the family decides they like Kiptyn's luvah. "I could definitely see Jillian as my daughter in law," mom tells the camera. Later, they get in the hot tub and make out (Jillian and Kiptyn, not Jillian and mom).
Fast forward to Carmel, California, where Jillian squeals upon seeing wine-maker Jesse at his wine-making family estate. "Oh my God, it's beautiful out here!" she gushes. The pair go on a romantic tractor ride before meeting dad, mom and goateed brother Jacob. The Hungarian clan toasts their visitor and has some wine. "You love this chick?" goateed bro asks. Jesse says yes and then explains that he wants kids sooner rather than later. "Unbelievable," goateed bro says. No kidding, dude. The family then rocks out in a horribly awkward scene featuring a guitar, drums and a dancing, gyrating mother (Jillian on tambourine). Later, Jesse promises to "move forward" with Jillian. They have some wine and make out. Another successful visit.
Next on the itinerary: A trip to Austin, Texas to meet the people responsible for creepy crooner Wes. "I think he gets me almost the most of any of the guys here," Jillian says. She squeals upon seeing her Texan beau (shocker). But before Jillian can meet Wes's real family, she has to meet Wes's band, naturally. "We got a brand new CD coming out," Wes says. "I want people to hear it ... that's the ultimate goal." Oddly, Jillian doesn't seem to notice this blatant self promotion. Instead, she says her heart beats "a mile a minute" while watching Wes play. They make out. But wait! We cut to pilot Jake, who is checking into some non-descript hotel room. "I need to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend," Jake says in the most somber of tones. He calls Wes "disingenuine." Later, Jake knocks on Jillian's hotel-room door. "I'm not here to get you back," Jake says. "Wes has a girlfriend." Jillian is CRUSHED. She begins to cry. Jake is "so sorry." They don't make out.
Confrontation time. Wes arrives in Jillian's hotel room. She asks one final time if Wes has anything to reveal. "I hate that you ask me this," Wes says. "I feel like I've told you my intentions." Jillian reveals that Jake spilled the beans about the girlfriend. "That's crazy," Wes says. "I had a girlfriend, but we broke up and she's one of my best friends to this very day ... the fact that Jake would say that is crazy!" Is it, Wes? Is it really? Naturally, Jillian calls Jake, who races down to the room. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't tell me on multiple occasions that you're in a relationship?" Jake asks. Wes insists that Jake is lying. "Obviously, you're trying to ruin my character and my integrity as a man," the would-be country singer says. Obviously. Nobody makes out, but Jake weeps harder and longer than Jillian.
Back in the hotel room, Wes suggests that the pair skip the family visit. "I don't want to put you though anything else," he says. Jillian begins to cry. HARD. "I really want to meet your family and I really want to see what we have," she cries. "But that means if you're the guy in the end, you're the guy in the end." Wes agrees. So they head out to meet mom, stepmom and three sisters. Jillian, meanwhile, thinks its fair to explain why they were late. So she does. Wes's sisters are SHOCKED. Just SHOCKED. "Guys are always going to be jealous of what he has and what he has going for him," an indignant sister says. In other words: Wesley is AWESOME. Mom also stands up for her boy. "He has a very sensitive heart," mom tells Jillian. "He's a one-woman guy." That's enough for Jillian, apparently. She officially believes Wes. They make out.
Jillian and the camera crew return to L.A. Just when you think there can't possibly be any more surprises, guess who knocks on door? It's Ed! "I realized that I made a huge mistake," he tells Jillian. "I think I need to be here with you. I think I need another shot." Jillian is FLOORED. And guess what? She gives Ed another chance. He will attend the rose ceremony that evening. Pushover, thy name is the Bachelorette.
Jillian and host Chris then have their requisite time-killing conversation, replete with many words and precious little (to zero) new information. How did Jillian feel when Ed walked back through her door? "I wanted to die," Jillian says. Die? Really, Jillian? "Tonight was going to be tough," Chris says. "Now with Ed back, it's going to be incredibly tough." Well said, Chris. Well said, indeed. Jillian stares at framed photos and then steals herself to hand out flora. Roses go to the following contenders: Reid, Kiptyn, Ed and Wes. Jesse and Michael are OUT. Jesse hugs Jillian and then leaves without saying a world. Michael, on the other hand, flat-out comforts Jillian on his way out. "I can not say a bad thing about the girl," Michael says. Then he cries. On camera.
Until next week, America.
Sun, Jul 5, 2009
After a recap of last week's trip to the hometowns and surprise return of Ed, we are told this episode will take place entirely in Spain.
As Jillian walks through a Spanish town we get a refresher on the final four guys. The Cliff Notes version Kipyn: Dreamy but perhaps too hot for her. Reid: Very different from Jillian, but perhaps in an "opposites attract" sort of way. Is he ready to commit? Ed: Career-minded and adorable, but took off just as Jillian was getting attached. Will a woman ever be the priority? Wes: Gorgeous and very much her type in a bad boy sort of way. Is Jake's claim of a possible girlfriend too much for her to overcome?
The first date will be with Kiptyn, and Jillian wants him to show her he likes her as much as she likes him. He tells us he is surprised by how strong his feelings are. They walk hand-in-hand and discuss how much fun Kiptyn's family was. He is happy with how things are going but adds that a proposal is "far off." She says she would like a proposal at the end but agrees that it would be a "leap of faith." They have tons of fun learning how to flamenco dance and Jillian tells us she observed "a side of Kiptyn I needed to see."
Following a conversation at dinner about his super tight dancing pants, Kiptyn tells Jillian he does want to have kids. They eat escargot and giggle uncontrollably. Jillian expresses concern that he might be too much of a softy to keep her in check and somewhere Gloria Steinem has a stroke. At this point a card arrives from Chris. It is a room key and the offer that the couple could elect to stay the night together in a "Fantasy Suite." Despite saying she is crazy about Kiptyn, Jillian decides to reject spending the entire night with him. "I respect that," is his response. They lie in bed and cuddle. Jillian tells us there is a "small part of me that wishes" she had had pulled the trigger.
Batting second is Reid, who we're told gives Jillian an "instant perma-grin." Today she wants to know how he feels. They go shopping for wine and cheeses and oh so adorably butcher the Spanish language. At a park they rehash her visit with Reid's family. Reid tells us Jillian killed with his peeps and asks her about her other hometown trips last episode. She loved their day trip and thinks if the evening goes as well it would "top the cake."
Before dinner Reid tells us that he might be falling in love, though he's not ready to say it to Jillian. Jillian pushes him regarding just how he will know if she is the one. Reid dances around the subject without saying much of anything. The fantasy suite invite from Chris shows up at the table and Jillian tells Reid that she thinks they should wait on the overnight. Reid tells us it was a smart move on Jillian's part, though "it sucks for me." Jillian tells us she "might be falling in love with Reid."
Before the daytime date with Ed, Jillian expresses to us that they have a lot to catch up on. He begins by telling her how much of a mistake he made by leaving the show. During a horse drawn carriage ride he explains that he initially didn't think the show would provide enough time to get to know someone and therefore he couldn't neglect his job. At an outdoor café she asks about his family. Ed thinks they would have loved her and outdoor fountain smooching ensues.
At dinner Ed asks whether Jillian would be cool with living somewhere else. He stumbles though an assurance they would make living in Chicago work as Reid takes a firm stranglehold on winning the show. She initially says 'no' to crashing with him in the fantasy suite, adding that she worries about him hurting her again. He convinces her that they need more time to get to know one another. They spend time in the suite talking and agree to sleep there in their clothes.
The loathsome Wes says he's fired up to spend time in Spain, immediately deciding to relate the trip to his music. They ride bikes through Barcelona and Jillian thinks he is "fun." In a gazebo he tells her she has the personality he is looking for to "bare my soul." Jillian tells us she doesn't buy the sentiment based on his body language. He tells her that his ever moving to Vancouver would be "crazy" and spills a beer when she suggests his living anywhere outside Austin.
During dinner Jillian is still worried that their level of affection isn't what it should be. She tells Wes he fits the "bad boy cowboy" personality she's into and he reassures her he doesn't have a girlfriend. He starts talking about music, saying that "if I was here to sell music I would be gone." She asks about him not showing her any affection and starts getting teary. She asks about the ex-girlfriend Laurel and Wes says the woman broke up with him. In retelling a story about talking to Jake he refers to Laurel as his "girlfriend," then corrects himself and says "ex-girlfriend." Aaaakwaaard. She tells us she's embarrassed he came on the show with a girlfriend as we watch her put him in a cab.
Prior to what seems like a completely unnecessary rose ceremony Jillian tells us she has never been more sure of a decision. While the four men wait for her to arrive Wes tells them "If it's me, you boys know that I will be back home having lots of sex." Kiptyn and Reid both look sick while Ed chuckles. Jillian quickly gives roses to Ed and Reid while Wes whispers to a nervous-looking Kiptyn that "it ain't me, dude." After a super-fake deep breath (wasn't this the most sure you've ever been, Jillian?) Jillian gives Kiptyn the final rose.
Jillian walks Wes out and he tells her to "have fun." (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.) In his final interview Wes tells us (with drink in hand) that he is "the first guy ever on 'The Bachelorette' to make it to the top four with a girlfriend," adding, "My acting days are over. I've already done everything I needed to do." He then mentions his new single and an upcoming radio tour and starts cussing up a storm talking about how lame the final three guys are.
You're a lucky woman, Laurel.
As Jillian walks through a Spanish town we get a refresher on the final four guys. The Cliff Notes version Kipyn: Dreamy but perhaps too hot for her. Reid: Very different from Jillian, but perhaps in an "opposites attract" sort of way. Is he ready to commit? Ed: Career-minded and adorable, but took off just as Jillian was getting attached. Will a woman ever be the priority? Wes: Gorgeous and very much her type in a bad boy sort of way. Is Jake's claim of a possible girlfriend too much for her to overcome?
The first date will be with Kiptyn, and Jillian wants him to show her he likes her as much as she likes him. He tells us he is surprised by how strong his feelings are. They walk hand-in-hand and discuss how much fun Kiptyn's family was. He is happy with how things are going but adds that a proposal is "far off." She says she would like a proposal at the end but agrees that it would be a "leap of faith." They have tons of fun learning how to flamenco dance and Jillian tells us she observed "a side of Kiptyn I needed to see."
Following a conversation at dinner about his super tight dancing pants, Kiptyn tells Jillian he does want to have kids. They eat escargot and giggle uncontrollably. Jillian expresses concern that he might be too much of a softy to keep her in check and somewhere Gloria Steinem has a stroke. At this point a card arrives from Chris. It is a room key and the offer that the couple could elect to stay the night together in a "Fantasy Suite." Despite saying she is crazy about Kiptyn, Jillian decides to reject spending the entire night with him. "I respect that," is his response. They lie in bed and cuddle. Jillian tells us there is a "small part of me that wishes" she had had pulled the trigger.
Batting second is Reid, who we're told gives Jillian an "instant perma-grin." Today she wants to know how he feels. They go shopping for wine and cheeses and oh so adorably butcher the Spanish language. At a park they rehash her visit with Reid's family. Reid tells us Jillian killed with his peeps and asks her about her other hometown trips last episode. She loved their day trip and thinks if the evening goes as well it would "top the cake."
Before dinner Reid tells us that he might be falling in love, though he's not ready to say it to Jillian. Jillian pushes him regarding just how he will know if she is the one. Reid dances around the subject without saying much of anything. The fantasy suite invite from Chris shows up at the table and Jillian tells Reid that she thinks they should wait on the overnight. Reid tells us it was a smart move on Jillian's part, though "it sucks for me." Jillian tells us she "might be falling in love with Reid."
Before the daytime date with Ed, Jillian expresses to us that they have a lot to catch up on. He begins by telling her how much of a mistake he made by leaving the show. During a horse drawn carriage ride he explains that he initially didn't think the show would provide enough time to get to know someone and therefore he couldn't neglect his job. At an outdoor café she asks about his family. Ed thinks they would have loved her and outdoor fountain smooching ensues.
At dinner Ed asks whether Jillian would be cool with living somewhere else. He stumbles though an assurance they would make living in Chicago work as Reid takes a firm stranglehold on winning the show. She initially says 'no' to crashing with him in the fantasy suite, adding that she worries about him hurting her again. He convinces her that they need more time to get to know one another. They spend time in the suite talking and agree to sleep there in their clothes.
The loathsome Wes says he's fired up to spend time in Spain, immediately deciding to relate the trip to his music. They ride bikes through Barcelona and Jillian thinks he is "fun." In a gazebo he tells her she has the personality he is looking for to "bare my soul." Jillian tells us she doesn't buy the sentiment based on his body language. He tells her that his ever moving to Vancouver would be "crazy" and spills a beer when she suggests his living anywhere outside Austin.
During dinner Jillian is still worried that their level of affection isn't what it should be. She tells Wes he fits the "bad boy cowboy" personality she's into and he reassures her he doesn't have a girlfriend. He starts talking about music, saying that "if I was here to sell music I would be gone." She asks about him not showing her any affection and starts getting teary. She asks about the ex-girlfriend Laurel and Wes says the woman broke up with him. In retelling a story about talking to Jake he refers to Laurel as his "girlfriend," then corrects himself and says "ex-girlfriend." Aaaakwaaard. She tells us she's embarrassed he came on the show with a girlfriend as we watch her put him in a cab.
Prior to what seems like a completely unnecessary rose ceremony Jillian tells us she has never been more sure of a decision. While the four men wait for her to arrive Wes tells them "If it's me, you boys know that I will be back home having lots of sex." Kiptyn and Reid both look sick while Ed chuckles. Jillian quickly gives roses to Ed and Reid while Wes whispers to a nervous-looking Kiptyn that "it ain't me, dude." After a super-fake deep breath (wasn't this the most sure you've ever been, Jillian?) Jillian gives Kiptyn the final rose.
Jillian walks Wes out and he tells her to "have fun." (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.) In his final interview Wes tells us (with drink in hand) that he is "the first guy ever on 'The Bachelorette' to make it to the top four with a girlfriend," adding, "My acting days are over. I've already done everything I needed to do." He then mentions his new single and an upcoming radio tour and starts cussing up a storm talking about how lame the final three guys are.
You're a lucky woman, Laurel.
Sun, Jul 12, 2009
Last week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian takes the boys to Spain, where our girl decides not to spend the night with Kiptyn or Reid. Ed, on the other hand, gets to sleep next to Jillian, but neither removes their clothes. Meanwhile, the Wes saga ends badly with our country singer revealing that his personality is worse than his music.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian walks down the Maui beach in a bikini. She plays in the surf while mentioning that "there's a lot at stake this week." Turns out that Jillian is "crazy about all three guys." Her first date is with hard-body Kiptyn, who literally sweeps Jillian off her feet. They make out. "I'm so happy right now," Kiptyn says. The pair head to a ropes course. "Today will be a really great indication of how Kiptyn operates as a team," Jillian tells the camera. Really? Basing your future happiness on how a potential mate performs on a ropes course?
Thankfully for the K-Man, he performs quite adequately. He is truly a team player, giving Jillian the encouragement she needs to walk across a high bridge with a rope tied around her waist. It appears to be true love. "He owned it and he laughed and that's what I'm starting to love so much about Kiptyn," Jillian says. They climb a totem pole and jump to a hanging trapeze. "A leap of faith," Kiptyn muses. They make out.
Later that night, the pair meets again. For some reason, Jillian still feels an "uneasiness" about the Kipster. What a difference a commercial break makes. They sit down to a romantic, candle-lit dinner. Jillian says that she tries to be "too strong sometimes," so it was nice to receive some instruction on the ropes course today. Then the conversation turns serious. The gentle guitar music kicks in and Kiptyn confesses that he typically has "low patience" in a relationship. "I need to deal better with bumps in the road," he explains.
Jillian worries that Kiptyn will grow tired of her just like all the others. "I know that you're someone I can spend a life with," he says. "And you just kind of got to take a leap of faith." Jillian calls the conversation "raw." So raw that she can't resist inviting Kiptyn to a sleep over. They make out. They head to Jillian's suite. They make out again. Kiptyn closes the blinds. We assume they continue to make out.
The next morning, Jillian meets Reid for their big date (no word on whether Kiptyn made the walk of shame). They decide to hang around in a field and play with a beach ball. "I need him to think about how he feels and communicate with me," she says. Later, Jillian asks her maybe man what he'd like to do now. Says Reid: "Make out." They make out.
Suddenly, a helicopter arrives. The pair climbs aboard and goes for a romantic flight. "It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had," Reid says. "It was like being in heaven." Jillian sees "so many things I could never even dream of." Apparently, Jillian can't dream of trees. Back on terra firma, Reid worries about being rushed into something. On the other hand, he doesn't want to see Jillian "with other guys." Wrong show, dude. Jillian demands to know how Reid feels. He mumbles and jokes. "Just think about it and we'll talk about it tonight," she says. They make out.
Later that night, the two meets on the beach for dinner. How does our blushing bachelorette feel? "It's just that feeling that I never thought existed before," Jillian tells the camera. They make out. They nibble a little and then Jillian gets serious again. Watch out, folks: this conversation is about to get all kinds of RAW. Jillian wants to live in Vancouver with her family, but also wants to start a family. She continues to ramble and Reid continues to pretend to pay attention. Bottom line: Is Reid ready to propose at the end of all of this? "Maybe," he says. Thanks, Reid. "I am indecisive," he tells Jillian. Awwwwkward.
Awkward or not, Jillian decides to invite the Reidster up to her love pad. "I'm scared," the Reidster says. But no so scared that he doesn't accept. They make out. They head upstairs to the fantasy suite. "It's going to get real real now," Reid tells the camera. How real? The pair head to a bubbly hot tub to sip wine. They make out. Tasteful transition to commerical.
The next morning, it's Ed's turn for a day-long date with Jillian, who has wiped off the bubbles and put on clothes. "I've had two incredible dates and I'm really confused," Jillian says. That's life as the Bachelorette, we guess. Ed, in the meantime, thinks Jillian's tan is "hot." They then board a boat for a romantic ride on the glittering water. Ed says he doesn't regret leaving work after he left the show to return to the show. Then the two go swimming. "I'll never forget the first time I was in the water with Ed," Jillian says. They make out.
Time to get raw! Ed says he feel terrible about Jillian not meeting his family. "My parents are a huge deal to me ... so I have flown them out here," Ed says. Jillian literally squeals. "Brilliant!" she says. Good point, Jill. If we had one word to describe Ed, it would almost certainly be "brilliant." So, Ed takes Jillian to meet his mom and dad. The four sit down for a terrible awkward conversation. Jillian rambles on and on about how great Ed is -- and how great his family sounds. Ed's dad, by the way, owns an awesome mustache. Dad is also skeptical about Ed appearing on a reality show to find love (imagine that). Ed assures pops that he and Jillian get along "awesome" and that it was totally worth it to put his career at risk.
Mustachioed dad then has a heart-to-heart with Jillian. "I've never seen Ed put his feelings on his shirt sleeve," pops says. Then Ed's dad gets choked up. It's as weird as it sounds. Jillian, Ed and Eds uncomfortably short shorts then head to the beach. Jillian invites Ed and his shorts to her suite for the evening. They make out (Jillian and Ed, not Jillian and Ed's shorts). Jillian looks forward to "sexy time" with her man.
And she gets it -- for a little while anyway. After a heart-to-heart during which Jillian says "like" about 6,000 times, she emerges in the skimpiest pajama top imaginable. Ed is soon shirtless. Jillian then gets out the oils and begins to rub her man down. The Edster returns the favor. Just when you think you've tuned into Skinemax, the unthinkable happens: Jillian reveals that sexy time wasn't so sexy after all. "That 'Oh my God, I want my hands to be all over you,' that wasn't there," she says. Hmm. Exactly WHAT wasn't there, Ed? "I was very nervous and it just didn't happen," Ed explains. "I couldn't show her that I really truly am in love with her." Yikes.
The next day, Jillian has her weekly conservation with Chris that more or less recaps everything we've already seen. Chris, as he does every week, nods gravely as Jillian expresses the highs and lows that she has spent the past 90 minute expressing. Chris then introduces a new wrinkle: instead of staring at framed photographs of the guys, the guys have each left a short videotaped message for Jillian.
First up is Kiptyn, who gushes about the "amazing ride" they've been on. "As we come to the end of this it feels like it could be the beginning," Kiptyn says. "Let's light this world on fire." Jillian almost swoons. Next up is Reid, who confesses that the evening in the fantasy suite was one of the best nights of his life. "I really hope you keep your honey bear around longer," he says. Honey bear?! Last but not least is Ed, who acknowledges "bumps in the road," but promises to take the relationship to "the next level ... I love you." Jillian sighs heavily. It's going to be a tough rose ceremony.
Speaking of, it's now time to give out the flowers. Jillian explains that she never expected to feel so "confused." How confused? Jillian surprises everyone by pulling Ed out of line for a private chat. "It didn't feel the way I think both of us thought it was going to feel," Jillian says of their last overnight date. She blames it on sunburn. Ed says there are "external things" that are affecting the way he is "behaving." Jillian nods.
With Ed back on the chopping block, it's time to send someone home. The first rose goes to ... Kiptyn. The second rose goes to ... Ed. Sorry, Reid -- you're fired. Jillian begins to cry. "I just worry that we're in different places in our lives," she weeps. They hug instead of make out. Reid exits stage limousine. And another enlightening two hours comes to a close. See you next week, America.
This week on "The Bachelorette:" Jillian walks down the Maui beach in a bikini. She plays in the surf while mentioning that "there's a lot at stake this week." Turns out that Jillian is "crazy about all three guys." Her first date is with hard-body Kiptyn, who literally sweeps Jillian off her feet. They make out. "I'm so happy right now," Kiptyn says. The pair head to a ropes course. "Today will be a really great indication of how Kiptyn operates as a team," Jillian tells the camera. Really? Basing your future happiness on how a potential mate performs on a ropes course?
Thankfully for the K-Man, he performs quite adequately. He is truly a team player, giving Jillian the encouragement she needs to walk across a high bridge with a rope tied around her waist. It appears to be true love. "He owned it and he laughed and that's what I'm starting to love so much about Kiptyn," Jillian says. They climb a totem pole and jump to a hanging trapeze. "A leap of faith," Kiptyn muses. They make out.
Later that night, the pair meets again. For some reason, Jillian still feels an "uneasiness" about the Kipster. What a difference a commercial break makes. They sit down to a romantic, candle-lit dinner. Jillian says that she tries to be "too strong sometimes," so it was nice to receive some instruction on the ropes course today. Then the conversation turns serious. The gentle guitar music kicks in and Kiptyn confesses that he typically has "low patience" in a relationship. "I need to deal better with bumps in the road," he explains.
Jillian worries that Kiptyn will grow tired of her just like all the others. "I know that you're someone I can spend a life with," he says. "And you just kind of got to take a leap of faith." Jillian calls the conversation "raw." So raw that she can't resist inviting Kiptyn to a sleep over. They make out. They head to Jillian's suite. They make out again. Kiptyn closes the blinds. We assume they continue to make out.
The next morning, Jillian meets Reid for their big date (no word on whether Kiptyn made the walk of shame). They decide to hang around in a field and play with a beach ball. "I need him to think about how he feels and communicate with me," she says. Later, Jillian asks her maybe man what he'd like to do now. Says Reid: "Make out." They make out.
Suddenly, a helicopter arrives. The pair climbs aboard and goes for a romantic flight. "It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had," Reid says. "It was like being in heaven." Jillian sees "so many things I could never even dream of." Apparently, Jillian can't dream of trees. Back on terra firma, Reid worries about being rushed into something. On the other hand, he doesn't want to see Jillian "with other guys." Wrong show, dude. Jillian demands to know how Reid feels. He mumbles and jokes. "Just think about it and we'll talk about it tonight," she says. They make out.
Later that night, the two meets on the beach for dinner. How does our blushing bachelorette feel? "It's just that feeling that I never thought existed before," Jillian tells the camera. They make out. They nibble a little and then Jillian gets serious again. Watch out, folks: this conversation is about to get all kinds of RAW. Jillian wants to live in Vancouver with her family, but also wants to start a family. She continues to ramble and Reid continues to pretend to pay attention. Bottom line: Is Reid ready to propose at the end of all of this? "Maybe," he says. Thanks, Reid. "I am indecisive," he tells Jillian. Awwwwkward.
Awkward or not, Jillian decides to invite the Reidster up to her love pad. "I'm scared," the Reidster says. But no so scared that he doesn't accept. They make out. They head upstairs to the fantasy suite. "It's going to get real real now," Reid tells the camera. How real? The pair head to a bubbly hot tub to sip wine. They make out. Tasteful transition to commerical.
The next morning, it's Ed's turn for a day-long date with Jillian, who has wiped off the bubbles and put on clothes. "I've had two incredible dates and I'm really confused," Jillian says. That's life as the Bachelorette, we guess. Ed, in the meantime, thinks Jillian's tan is "hot." They then board a boat for a romantic ride on the glittering water. Ed says he doesn't regret leaving work after he left the show to return to the show. Then the two go swimming. "I'll never forget the first time I was in the water with Ed," Jillian says. They make out.
Time to get raw! Ed says he feel terrible about Jillian not meeting his family. "My parents are a huge deal to me ... so I have flown them out here," Ed says. Jillian literally squeals. "Brilliant!" she says. Good point, Jill. If we had one word to describe Ed, it would almost certainly be "brilliant." So, Ed takes Jillian to meet his mom and dad. The four sit down for a terrible awkward conversation. Jillian rambles on and on about how great Ed is -- and how great his family sounds. Ed's dad, by the way, owns an awesome mustache. Dad is also skeptical about Ed appearing on a reality show to find love (imagine that). Ed assures pops that he and Jillian get along "awesome" and that it was totally worth it to put his career at risk.
Mustachioed dad then has a heart-to-heart with Jillian. "I've never seen Ed put his feelings on his shirt sleeve," pops says. Then Ed's dad gets choked up. It's as weird as it sounds. Jillian, Ed and Eds uncomfortably short shorts then head to the beach. Jillian invites Ed and his shorts to her suite for the evening. They make out (Jillian and Ed, not Jillian and Ed's shorts). Jillian looks forward to "sexy time" with her man.
And she gets it -- for a little while anyway. After a heart-to-heart during which Jillian says "like" about 6,000 times, she emerges in the skimpiest pajama top imaginable. Ed is soon shirtless. Jillian then gets out the oils and begins to rub her man down. The Edster returns the favor. Just when you think you've tuned into Skinemax, the unthinkable happens: Jillian reveals that sexy time wasn't so sexy after all. "That 'Oh my God, I want my hands to be all over you,' that wasn't there," she says. Hmm. Exactly WHAT wasn't there, Ed? "I was very nervous and it just didn't happen," Ed explains. "I couldn't show her that I really truly am in love with her." Yikes.
The next day, Jillian has her weekly conservation with Chris that more or less recaps everything we've already seen. Chris, as he does every week, nods gravely as Jillian expresses the highs and lows that she has spent the past 90 minute expressing. Chris then introduces a new wrinkle: instead of staring at framed photographs of the guys, the guys have each left a short videotaped message for Jillian.
First up is Kiptyn, who gushes about the "amazing ride" they've been on. "As we come to the end of this it feels like it could be the beginning," Kiptyn says. "Let's light this world on fire." Jillian almost swoons. Next up is Reid, who confesses that the evening in the fantasy suite was one of the best nights of his life. "I really hope you keep your honey bear around longer," he says. Honey bear?! Last but not least is Ed, who acknowledges "bumps in the road," but promises to take the relationship to "the next level ... I love you." Jillian sighs heavily. It's going to be a tough rose ceremony.
Speaking of, it's now time to give out the flowers. Jillian explains that she never expected to feel so "confused." How confused? Jillian surprises everyone by pulling Ed out of line for a private chat. "It didn't feel the way I think both of us thought it was going to feel," Jillian says of their last overnight date. She blames it on sunburn. Ed says there are "external things" that are affecting the way he is "behaving." Jillian nods.
With Ed back on the chopping block, it's time to send someone home. The first rose goes to ... Kiptyn. The second rose goes to ... Ed. Sorry, Reid -- you're fired. Jillian begins to cry. "I just worry that we're in different places in our lives," she weeps. They hug instead of make out. Reid exits stage limousine. And another enlightening two hours comes to a close. See you next week, America.
Sun, Jul 19, 2009
It's an explosive reunion viewers won't want to miss, as the most memorable bachelors from this season - including Kasey, Kirk, Craig R., Ty, Jonathan and Derrick aka "Shooter" - return to confront each other and Ali one last time on national television. The men will dish the dirt and tell their side of the story, discussing the difficulty of competing for Ali's affections and focus in on one of the most controversial bachelors of the season: Justin. Shocking revelations from Justin's ex-girlfriend confirm all the stories about the entertainment wrestler's passionate past. Exciting and funny unseen moments from this dramatic season will also be featured, along with a special preview of the new series Bachelor Pad.
Sun, Jul 26, 2009
It all comes down to this. America has waited weeks and Jillian has waited somewhere in the vicinity of 30 years. Finally, our beloved bachelorette will pick the man of her manufactured dreams. Let's get started, shall we? We open with a recap of previous episodes, including Reid's departure and Ed's vaguely described failure in the bedroom. Kiptyn, meanwhile, remains the near perfect man. "It's the most emotional season finale in 'Bachelorette' history," host Chris promises. We'll see about that.
Jillian reveals that she is "proud of myself" for falling love with two great guys. We're proud of you too, Jill. First up is a date with Ed, who wants to "reassure" the love of his life that their last night in the fantasy suite was the result of nerves -- and not a lack of feeling. Jillian urges Ed to "be you" when he meets her parents. Speaking of, Jillian greets mom Peggy and dad Glen, sending our special single lady into a full-fledged squealing fit. Ed tells the family that it was a "huge deal" coming on the show because he was "married to my job." He goes on to explain the whole left-the-show-and-came-back thing, which seems to concern 'ol Glen, who frowns through the captivating story.
Now it's time for the Pegster to grill Ed, rapidly reading questions from a computer print out. Ed does his best to handle queries like "Do you want a family?" and "Where do you see the relationship in 50 years?" Hey, Peggy, how bout we just get through the next two hours first? Sheesh. Jillian then has a one-on-one with her mom, who notices "a glow" about her daughter. "That says a lot," Peg comments. Meanwhile, Ed is selling himself to gruff Glen, who says he "likes what I see" about Ed. This comment sends Ed into an odd, halting giggling fit. The family then dons coconut bras and grass skirts to dance the Hula. And, yes, it's EXACTLY as embarrassing as it sounds.
The next morning, Jillian meets Kiptyn. "This is going to be such a great date," Jillian says. "I can't wait to hug him, I can't wait to kiss him." They make out. The bachelorette comments on the obvious "physical attraction" between the two. They make out again. Then it's time for Kiptyn to meet the family. Oddly, Jillian has another squealing fit, as if she hasn't seen her family in the last 24 hours. J and K (Jiptyn?) recount their brief life together as the fam sits around and smiles. Kiptyn tells Glen how he loves to spend time on the beach. "I work to live, but I don't live to work," he tells the rents. They appear to approve.
Mom takes Kiptyn aside and gets out her list. Kiptyn reveals that he feels communication is important to a relationship and that he hopes to be having coffee on the patio with Jillian in 40 years. "I think Kiptyn has a very similar energy to Jillian," mom tells the camera. She likes the guy. The convo with Glen goes just as smooth (these two are pushovers) and Kiptyn thanks the whole family for the kindness. Thankfully, not a single Canadian puts on a grass skirt and dances. Hidden away outside, J and K have a heavy make-out session. "I'm falling in love with two guys guys who make me feel differently, but make me feel good," Jillian tells the camera. "I'm ready to make some big decisions." We certainly hope so. We're down to 90 minutes and counting here.
With the guys gone, Jillian huddles with her family. Glen explains that Ed confessed to loving Jillian and even asked for permission to marry her. Ed, he thinks, was "deeper." Kiptyn, on the hand, said that he was STARTING to fall in love. The ladies theorize that Kiptyn loves Jillian, but might be more cautious. "I think Kiptyn, for what it's worth, is in for the long haul," Jillian's cousin Tori says. Tori and Jillian then get together for a little girl talk. Once again, Ed's failure in the fantasy suite comes up. Tori cringes. Sooo embarrassing.
Later, Ed, whose ears don't appear to be burning, shows up for the last date. They hop in a Jeep, make out and then go for a beautiful ride. "I think YOU'RE beautiful," Ed says. Awwww. Time for another life-altering helicopter ride. They fly over a volcano and make out. "I don't know if it was the volcano that was making it hot in the helicopter, but it was definitely heating up in there," Ed tells the camera. He proves it by making out with Jillian once they land. "You're beautiful -- a genius," he tells Jillian. "You're perfect for me ... I would never leave you again." They make out. Ed's affection seems a tad forced forced to us, but we're not the ones who might have to marry the guy. Ed then invites Jillian back to his room. She agrees, but worries that he might be "nervous" again. Turns out there was nothing to be nervous about. "That sexual chemistry was still there," Jillian narrates as the couple does some heavy duty making out. Naturally, the editors cut to an erupting volcano. Classy.
The next day, a squealing Jillian greets Kiptyn with a kiss. She is falling in love with the surfer dude, but worries about his level of commitment. Kiptyn manages to remove his shirt, showing off what appears to be an 18 pack. Jillian strips to her lil white bikini. They make out. "I just want to snuggle up with him," Jillian tells the camera. "If his feelings for me are as strong as my feelings for him, the sky's the limit." They go for a romantic float in the surf. Cut to Kiptyn's hotel room later that evening. A squealing Jillian enters and soon gets an earful from her maybe man. "Everything's been so natural ... to feel stressed out now is so weird," Kiptyn says. "I would be really hurt if I lost you." Kiptyn then continues on. And on. And on. They soon move to the bed, where the words stop and the making out begins. The editors, a bit more tastefully this time, cut to waves crashing on the beach.
Contemplation time. Jillian sits on the balcony of her hotel room and reads letters from Ed and Kiptyn. She stares out toward the ocean. The boys, meanwhile, look at rings. "It has my heart beating fast," Kiptyn says. He picks out an absolutely gigantic diamond ring. Ed is next, picking out another absolutely gigantic diamond ring. Either way, Jillian is going to have some major bling. Shirtless again, Kiptyn jogs along the beach and then wraps a towel around his waist. Ed, who keeps his shirt on, sits on a rock like the Thinker. It's almost time for the most emotional finale in Bachelorette history. Speaking of Chris, he welcomes Jillian to the final rose-ceremony location. "Deep breaths," our cool and calm host tells Jill. "I'm really looking forward to our new life together," she tells the camera. But who is "our?"
We're about to find out. A limo pulls up and Kiptyn exits. "Kiptyn, how ya doin man?" Chris asks. Kiptyn says he is OK. "Jillian makes me feel alive," he tells the camera. "I feel like the impossible's possible." Kiptyn approaches Jillian, anxious to ask for her hand in marriage. First, he rambles on and on (and on) about their history together. This time, Jillian DOES NOT stop him with a kiss. In fact, she proceeds to rip his heart out -- but gently, like a lady. "Emotionally, it's been moving slower and, I never thought I would say this, but in the meantime, I've fallen in love with someone else," she says. Jillian breaks down. Kiptyn says "it hurts" and tears up himself. He hugs her, and then walks away. We cut to the limo, where our ripped surfer dude continues to contemplate what could have gone so horribly wrong ... on national TV at that. He cries. We understand.
Just then, a minivan pulls up. Guess who steps out? Reid. "On the plane ride back from Philadelphia, it was, like, 'What the hell did I just do?'" he asks the camera. Actually, you just got kicked off the show, Mr. Runner Up to the Runner Up. But no matter. "There's no doubt in my mind that were perfect for each other ... I'm going to propose to her," he says. Reid approaches Jillian. "I'm back," he says. Yeah, dude, we know. Jillian immediately begins to cry. Reid confesses to being in such pain for not telling Jillian that he loved her. So he tells her that he loves her. "When I let you go, I let you go because you couldn't tell me how you felt," Jillian says. "You were so unsure." Reid explains that nothing became clear until after he was sent home. He kneels, but Jillian asks him to stand. She needs time to think -- and retreats to the bungalow to do so.
Chris joins Jillian to help her think it out. "What's your gut telling you?" the host asks. Jillian doesn't know. "How is somebody supposed to make a decision like this?" she asks. Says host and philosopher Chris: "Because you know." It's so, so true. So Jillian heads back out to Reid, who we just noticed is wearing freaking tennis shoes. "It was hard to let you go ... I guess I just, I dont know, I love the situation that I'm in ... I really, truly have fallen in love with somebody," Jillian says through tears. Meaning: somebody ELSE, Third-Place Reid. So Reid exits, just as single and in third place as he entered. And we'll never get that 15 minutes back again. Nor will Jillian or Reid or Chris. "Just go," Jillian says. Amen to that, sister. Two-time loser Reid heads home to Philly.
So FINALLY, with just eight minutes to spare, Eds limo pulls up. "Today has definitely been an emotional day," Jillian tells the camera. Ya think? Of course, Jillian is now sure about Ed. "We are best friends," she says. "Our relationship is complete. We're ready to take the plunge." This is a bit difficult to swallow after Jillian nearly let Reid take her away, but it's not our place to question true TV love. Ed approaches Jillian. "I've never felt this positive about being with someone ever," the bachelor says. Ed then tells Jillian that he had redefined him. "You make me smile when I look in your eyes," he says. He confesses his love. Jillian does the same. They make out. The music swells. Ed gets down on one knee and asks the woman he met on camera just weeks before to marry him. Jillian squeals. "Absolutely!" she screams. The music REALLY swells. "Do you have any idea how much fun we're gonna have?" Jillian asks. We can only imagine and, barring another reality show, it's all we'll be able to do.
There ya go, America. A happy ending.
Jillian reveals that she is "proud of myself" for falling love with two great guys. We're proud of you too, Jill. First up is a date with Ed, who wants to "reassure" the love of his life that their last night in the fantasy suite was the result of nerves -- and not a lack of feeling. Jillian urges Ed to "be you" when he meets her parents. Speaking of, Jillian greets mom Peggy and dad Glen, sending our special single lady into a full-fledged squealing fit. Ed tells the family that it was a "huge deal" coming on the show because he was "married to my job." He goes on to explain the whole left-the-show-and-came-back thing, which seems to concern 'ol Glen, who frowns through the captivating story.
Now it's time for the Pegster to grill Ed, rapidly reading questions from a computer print out. Ed does his best to handle queries like "Do you want a family?" and "Where do you see the relationship in 50 years?" Hey, Peggy, how bout we just get through the next two hours first? Sheesh. Jillian then has a one-on-one with her mom, who notices "a glow" about her daughter. "That says a lot," Peg comments. Meanwhile, Ed is selling himself to gruff Glen, who says he "likes what I see" about Ed. This comment sends Ed into an odd, halting giggling fit. The family then dons coconut bras and grass skirts to dance the Hula. And, yes, it's EXACTLY as embarrassing as it sounds.
The next morning, Jillian meets Kiptyn. "This is going to be such a great date," Jillian says. "I can't wait to hug him, I can't wait to kiss him." They make out. The bachelorette comments on the obvious "physical attraction" between the two. They make out again. Then it's time for Kiptyn to meet the family. Oddly, Jillian has another squealing fit, as if she hasn't seen her family in the last 24 hours. J and K (Jiptyn?) recount their brief life together as the fam sits around and smiles. Kiptyn tells Glen how he loves to spend time on the beach. "I work to live, but I don't live to work," he tells the rents. They appear to approve.
Mom takes Kiptyn aside and gets out her list. Kiptyn reveals that he feels communication is important to a relationship and that he hopes to be having coffee on the patio with Jillian in 40 years. "I think Kiptyn has a very similar energy to Jillian," mom tells the camera. She likes the guy. The convo with Glen goes just as smooth (these two are pushovers) and Kiptyn thanks the whole family for the kindness. Thankfully, not a single Canadian puts on a grass skirt and dances. Hidden away outside, J and K have a heavy make-out session. "I'm falling in love with two guys guys who make me feel differently, but make me feel good," Jillian tells the camera. "I'm ready to make some big decisions." We certainly hope so. We're down to 90 minutes and counting here.
With the guys gone, Jillian huddles with her family. Glen explains that Ed confessed to loving Jillian and even asked for permission to marry her. Ed, he thinks, was "deeper." Kiptyn, on the hand, said that he was STARTING to fall in love. The ladies theorize that Kiptyn loves Jillian, but might be more cautious. "I think Kiptyn, for what it's worth, is in for the long haul," Jillian's cousin Tori says. Tori and Jillian then get together for a little girl talk. Once again, Ed's failure in the fantasy suite comes up. Tori cringes. Sooo embarrassing.
Later, Ed, whose ears don't appear to be burning, shows up for the last date. They hop in a Jeep, make out and then go for a beautiful ride. "I think YOU'RE beautiful," Ed says. Awwww. Time for another life-altering helicopter ride. They fly over a volcano and make out. "I don't know if it was the volcano that was making it hot in the helicopter, but it was definitely heating up in there," Ed tells the camera. He proves it by making out with Jillian once they land. "You're beautiful -- a genius," he tells Jillian. "You're perfect for me ... I would never leave you again." They make out. Ed's affection seems a tad forced forced to us, but we're not the ones who might have to marry the guy. Ed then invites Jillian back to his room. She agrees, but worries that he might be "nervous" again. Turns out there was nothing to be nervous about. "That sexual chemistry was still there," Jillian narrates as the couple does some heavy duty making out. Naturally, the editors cut to an erupting volcano. Classy.
The next day, a squealing Jillian greets Kiptyn with a kiss. She is falling in love with the surfer dude, but worries about his level of commitment. Kiptyn manages to remove his shirt, showing off what appears to be an 18 pack. Jillian strips to her lil white bikini. They make out. "I just want to snuggle up with him," Jillian tells the camera. "If his feelings for me are as strong as my feelings for him, the sky's the limit." They go for a romantic float in the surf. Cut to Kiptyn's hotel room later that evening. A squealing Jillian enters and soon gets an earful from her maybe man. "Everything's been so natural ... to feel stressed out now is so weird," Kiptyn says. "I would be really hurt if I lost you." Kiptyn then continues on. And on. And on. They soon move to the bed, where the words stop and the making out begins. The editors, a bit more tastefully this time, cut to waves crashing on the beach.
Contemplation time. Jillian sits on the balcony of her hotel room and reads letters from Ed and Kiptyn. She stares out toward the ocean. The boys, meanwhile, look at rings. "It has my heart beating fast," Kiptyn says. He picks out an absolutely gigantic diamond ring. Ed is next, picking out another absolutely gigantic diamond ring. Either way, Jillian is going to have some major bling. Shirtless again, Kiptyn jogs along the beach and then wraps a towel around his waist. Ed, who keeps his shirt on, sits on a rock like the Thinker. It's almost time for the most emotional finale in Bachelorette history. Speaking of Chris, he welcomes Jillian to the final rose-ceremony location. "Deep breaths," our cool and calm host tells Jill. "I'm really looking forward to our new life together," she tells the camera. But who is "our?"
We're about to find out. A limo pulls up and Kiptyn exits. "Kiptyn, how ya doin man?" Chris asks. Kiptyn says he is OK. "Jillian makes me feel alive," he tells the camera. "I feel like the impossible's possible." Kiptyn approaches Jillian, anxious to ask for her hand in marriage. First, he rambles on and on (and on) about their history together. This time, Jillian DOES NOT stop him with a kiss. In fact, she proceeds to rip his heart out -- but gently, like a lady. "Emotionally, it's been moving slower and, I never thought I would say this, but in the meantime, I've fallen in love with someone else," she says. Jillian breaks down. Kiptyn says "it hurts" and tears up himself. He hugs her, and then walks away. We cut to the limo, where our ripped surfer dude continues to contemplate what could have gone so horribly wrong ... on national TV at that. He cries. We understand.
Just then, a minivan pulls up. Guess who steps out? Reid. "On the plane ride back from Philadelphia, it was, like, 'What the hell did I just do?'" he asks the camera. Actually, you just got kicked off the show, Mr. Runner Up to the Runner Up. But no matter. "There's no doubt in my mind that were perfect for each other ... I'm going to propose to her," he says. Reid approaches Jillian. "I'm back," he says. Yeah, dude, we know. Jillian immediately begins to cry. Reid confesses to being in such pain for not telling Jillian that he loved her. So he tells her that he loves her. "When I let you go, I let you go because you couldn't tell me how you felt," Jillian says. "You were so unsure." Reid explains that nothing became clear until after he was sent home. He kneels, but Jillian asks him to stand. She needs time to think -- and retreats to the bungalow to do so.
Chris joins Jillian to help her think it out. "What's your gut telling you?" the host asks. Jillian doesn't know. "How is somebody supposed to make a decision like this?" she asks. Says host and philosopher Chris: "Because you know." It's so, so true. So Jillian heads back out to Reid, who we just noticed is wearing freaking tennis shoes. "It was hard to let you go ... I guess I just, I dont know, I love the situation that I'm in ... I really, truly have fallen in love with somebody," Jillian says through tears. Meaning: somebody ELSE, Third-Place Reid. So Reid exits, just as single and in third place as he entered. And we'll never get that 15 minutes back again. Nor will Jillian or Reid or Chris. "Just go," Jillian says. Amen to that, sister. Two-time loser Reid heads home to Philly.
So FINALLY, with just eight minutes to spare, Eds limo pulls up. "Today has definitely been an emotional day," Jillian tells the camera. Ya think? Of course, Jillian is now sure about Ed. "We are best friends," she says. "Our relationship is complete. We're ready to take the plunge." This is a bit difficult to swallow after Jillian nearly let Reid take her away, but it's not our place to question true TV love. Ed approaches Jillian. "I've never felt this positive about being with someone ever," the bachelor says. Ed then tells Jillian that he had redefined him. "You make me smile when I look in your eyes," he says. He confesses his love. Jillian does the same. They make out. The music swells. Ed gets down on one knee and asks the woman he met on camera just weeks before to marry him. Jillian squeals. "Absolutely!" she screams. The music REALLY swells. "Do you have any idea how much fun we're gonna have?" Jillian asks. We can only imagine and, barring another reality show, it's all we'll be able to do.
There ya go, America. A happy ending.