DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV Series)

The Curse of the Earth Totem (2018)

Brandon Routh: Ray Palmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Amaya Jiwe : I don't know what I'm looking at.

  Mick Rory : Looks like a hemorrhoid.

  Ray Palmer : What? No, it... it's Mallus. Demon horns? Anyway, the hunt for the six totems has begun.

  Amaya Jiwe : There are only five tribes in Zambesi. Each was gifted with a totem. And a I checked; there's no record of a sixth.

  Ray Palmer : Well, the good news is that we have the Air and the Spirit totems.

  Amaya Jiwe : Kuasa has the Water totem.

  Ray Palmer : And since the final totem is a complete mystery, that leaves us looking for Earth and Fire. Now, the Fire totem, which is currently smashed, BTW, was last seen in a Detroit museum in 2018.

  Amaya Jiwe : Wait, how do you know that?

  Ray Palmer : Because it is with your granddaughter Mari's - or, AKA the other Vixen's - boyfriend, Dr. Adam Macalester. He's dedicated his life to the study of the Zambesi totems.

  Amaya Jiwe : Well, if Constantine is right and the only thing that Mallus fears is the sixth, then we need to get our hands on the Fire totem.

  Mick Rory : Ah. Collect the set, win a prize.

• Ray Palmer : We need to tell Sara we got to get to Detroit.

  Mick Rory : Nope, she's off to Star City. She's been texting some guy. They're going on a date.

  Ray Palmer : How do you know? What, are you looking at her phone?

  Mick Rory : I look at everyone's phone. Helps pass the time.

  Ray Palmer : Well... who's she going on a date with?

  Amaya Jiwe : Obviously, it's Ava.

  Mick Rory : Oh, that's hot.

  Sara Lance : [entering]  What's hot?

  Ray Palmer : [changing the subject]  Uh... the Fire totem. Hot, hot. Very hot and currently in Detroit, so what do you say we motor off to the Motor City?

  Sara Lance : Right now? Um... I might sit this one out, because I have to do... business back home.

  Mick Rory : I bet you do.

• Mick Rory : We tried to steal the Fire totem from your granddaughter's boyfriend, but someone beat us to it.

  Ray Palmer : Damien Darhk.

  Amaya Jiwe : [reading the note Zari hands her]  "Dear Legends, now I have two."

  Zari Tomaz : You know, for a megalomaniac, he has very lovely penmanship.

  Ray Palmer : I know, right?

• Mick Rory : Captain wants to see you.

  Nate Heywood : Aw, man, Sara's here?

  Mick Rory : Not that one, you dumbass. I'm talking about the most fearsome pirate queen to sail the seven seas: the Dread Pirate Jiwe.

  [indicating the depressed Amaya] 

  Mick Rory : She needs to loosen up.

  Nate Heywood : [catching on]  Yeah. I heard she once cut out a man's tongue for not obeying her orders.

  Mick Rory : Yeah... and she still carries it to this day.

  Toothless Pirate : I never heard of no lady pirate.

  Ray Palmer : That's because dead men tell no tales.

  Scottish Pirate : They say she lost her ship to a kraken, and in retribution, she hunted down the monster's wee bairn and ate the gupper raw.

  Barkeep : I heard she was spat back out o' hell by the devil himself.

  Barrel-Chested Pirate : I hear she be more bold and fearless than Captain Blackbeard.

  [Blackbeard appears in the door threshold] 

  Barrel-Chested Pirate : Begging your pardon, Captain.

  Blackbeard : What was that you said?

  Barrel-Chested Pirate : I have it under good authority we be in the company of the Dread Pirate Jiwe.

  Amaya Jiwe : [quietly]  Why is everyone staring at me?

  Mick Rory : If there's one thing pirates love more than treasure, it's a good story.

• Sara Lance : Please tell me that the Waverider did not just crash into Star City.

  Zari Tomaz : Star City? Is that where we are?

  Sara Lance : Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

  Ray Palmer : Well, the good news is the cannonball didn't hit the time core. And Nate made a beautiful landing.

  Zari Tomaz : [dryly sarcastic]  Yeah.

  Nate Heywood : Thanks, big guy. So, Sara, how's the date going?

• Ray Palmer : [simultaneously with Nate]  Bad news!

  Nate Heywood : Good news!

  Zari Tomaz : What's going on?

  Ray Palmer : [simultaneously again]  The Fire totem's gone.

  Nate Heywood : I know where their totem is.

  Amaya Jiwe : Ray-Ray, you go first.

• Nate Heywood : I know where the Earth totem is, or more precisely, when: 1717, Saint Lisette.

  [seeing their confusion] 

  Nate Heywood : St. Lisette? Sister ship of La Concorde?

  Mick Rory : Get to the point, Pretty.

  Nate Heywood : La Concorde was boarded by pirates, and later named Queen Anne's Revenge. It's Blackbeard the Pirate's ship.

  Ray Palmer : So, Blackbeard has the Earth totem.

  Mick Rory : Well, let's steal it.

  Zari Tomaz : No, guys, hold on. Sara's on a date. We should probably avoid messing with history while she's still on appetizers?

  Ray Palmer : But... think how happy she'd be if we had the Earth totem by dessert.

• Amaya Jiwe : How are we supposed to find Blackbeard in this rabble?

  Ray Palmer : Well, we could ask a pirate nicely.

  Nate Heywood : Nicely? Ray, pirates are terrified of Blackbeard. They're not just gonna offer up...

  Toothless Pirate : [holding a sword to his throat]  So, you're looking for Blackbeard? How do I know you's not spies for the Royal Navy?

  Mick Rory : [Amaya fights him off]  Because we wanna join Blackbeard's crew, you germ.

• Nate Heywood : Rory, Amaya, come in, over.

  Ray Palmer : Some sort of interference with the communications system.

  Nate Heywood : Guys, answer me! Over.

  Zari Tomaz : Hey, calm down. I'm sure they're okay.

  Gideon : [the ship's lights flicker]  My apologies, but I'm experiencing a level four systems failure.

  Zari Tomaz : Wasn't me. Nothing to do with it.

  Gideon : I believe the fault lies in our present coordinates. You did park me in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.

  Nate Heywood : Sailors call it the Devil's Triangle.

  Ray Palmer : No, the stories of ships disappearing are grossly exaggerated.

  [the lights shut down completely] 

  Zari Tomaz : [flicking on a lighter]  Um... you sure about that, Ray?

• Nate Heywood : Gideon, maybe you could help us settle an argument. What are the chances of survival if we stay in the Bermuda Triangle?

  Gideon : Zero. There are multiple cannonballs headed towards our starboard bow as we speak.

  Zari Tomaz : Um, sorry, cannonballs?

  Ray Palmer : I thought we were cloaked.

• Gideon : I tried to tell you coming here was a bad idea.

  Ray Palmer : Who the heck is firing at us?

  [cut to outside] 

  Damien Darhk : I want that ship brought down! Fire another volley!

• Sara Lance : When I left, you were headed for Detroit.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah, it's a... it's... it's a really... it's a really long story.

  Nate Heywood : Mick and Amaya are marooned in 1717, the Darhks have the Fire totem, and Blackbeard has the Earth totem.

  Ray Palmer : I just thought it was gonna be a longer story.

  Zari Tomaz : [entering]  Thank god you're back. You look great. The engine room's a disaster. We're not going anywhere.

• Nate Heywood : Sara!

  Sara Lance : Yeah, what now?

  Nate Heywood : We have another anachronism in 1717. The HMS Fortitude got into a naval battle with Blackbeard's ship off the coast of Grace Island.

  Sara Lance : So?

  Ray Palmer : So... that is a portrait of their admiral.

  Sara Lance : Damien Darhk.

• Sara Lance : I don't care if Zari has to duct tape the Waverider back together, we have to get it in the air.

  Gideon : Well, I wouldn't advise returning to the Bermuda Triangle.

  Nate Heywood : It's the Devil's Triangle, and Mick and Amaya are in danger.

  Sara Lance : [a portal opens, and Ava enters]  Ava! Hey!

  Ava Sharpe : Don't "Hi, Ava" me. You stood me up, jerk.

  Ray Palmer : Awkward.

• Ray Palmer : It's Nora. The nanite pistol is gonna kill her, and... that's what it was supposed to do, but now I feel...

  Mick Rory : Like a badass.

  Ray Palmer : No. Guilty.

  Mick Rory : What? You saved Amaya.

  Ray Palmer : I know. Doesn't really make sense, except that I met her... as a kid.

  Mick Rory : Well, now she's all grown up and joined the demon's side.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah. But you... you have changed since I first met you, and I hate to break it to you, Mick, but... you are a much better person. And maybe Nora could have become one, too. There was hope for her, anyway, before I took it away.

• Zari Tomaz : We're screwed. The ship's electrical systems are experiencing multiple unexplained malfunctions.

  Nate Heywood : It's the Devil's Triangle.

  Ray Palmer : Look, that's just a myth.

  Zari Tomaz : Whatever it is, we need to time jump out of here.

  Nate Heywood : What? And leave Mick and Amaya stranded in pirate times?

  Zari Tomaz : It's a miracle we're still in the air.

  Ray Palmer : Well, I'm sure they're having a whale of a time with Blackbeard.

• Nate Heywood : Hey, I know it looks like a mess, but we really wanted you to have a nice night out.

  Ray Palmer : Yeah, if you really like that mean Time Bureau lady, you shouldn't give up on her.

  Sara Lance : Look, I'm not giving up on anything, other than maybe the idea that I'll ever have a normal life. Zari, get the ship back in fighting shape, 'cause until then... Rory and Amaya are on their own.

• Mick Rory : Haircut, you want a beer? Everyone's off doing their own thing. Just you and me.

  Ray Palmer : Sure, could... use a beer, even if I am your last choice of companion.

  [seeing Mick glance at his equations] 

  Ray Palmer : Oh, that? I was just doing a bit of light theorizing, and then I had a breakthrough. I am gonna develop a liquid for the perfect dry erase marker. Strong viscosity, clean lines.

  Mick Rory : You're a terrible liar.